the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Monday, April 03, 2006

Slackjaw slacker

I can hear the grumbling now. "No more goddamn pictures, you lazy slut! When's the last time you wrote us anything? Can you just toss us aside so easily, Miss Assless Packrat?"

While it's true that the last couple of posts have been all about keeping the content fresh while keeping the effort low, I have to say in my defense - how could I not share me in a tiny wedding dress, followed by me in a prom dress? What kind of sick, goat worshipping one-two punch is that, and how utterly wrong would it be for me to keep it all to myself?

But yes, I am a lazy blogger.

There has been more to do here in preparing to leave than I ever thought possible; it doesn't feel right for me to still be here, I'm pushing myself to get through all this with all due haste, and as a result, I am incredibly, crushingly, oppressively stressed out right now. I've sorted through so many photos that I feel like my life just flashed in front of my eyes, but not in an "I'm gonna die!' way - nothing so dramatic, more of a retrospective slideshow, watched from a fairly uncomfortable chair. There have been a few pictures along that way that have made me suddenly bark with laughter, and then throw them aside for immediate scanning. I figure, if they're funny enough to break up my monster tension, then they might well be worth sharing.

Here's one.

Nice fuckin' hair
You can barely see the lobotomy scar anymore...

Dig on my eggbeater hair style. Combine that with the just-about-to-drool, retarded-deer-in-headlights quality of my facial expression, and you have a pretty accurate portrait of what I look like first thing in the morning.

Maybe I should make business cards. Will humiliate self publicly for cheap laughs and crab legs.

10 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Nilbo said...

Wow. Yeah, I can see how you'd want to save this picture. We should always remember what looks worked for us and which ones we might want to stay away from in the future.

7:40 AM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

Is that natural or result of a hangover? Eggbeater hairstyle? Don't even wanna describe what mine looks like before I wash and style it in the morning.

8:45 AM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Unknown said...

LOL... Lovely! Simply LOVELY! :)

8:58 AM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Hey now, I'm enjoying the photos!

9:58 AM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger said...

The bio hazard sticker on your fridge explains your plight. You should have seen this all along. Its only downhill from here sister.

10:17 AM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger hemlock said...

I was giggling before I read your description.

That is one prize of a photo.

Keep 'em coming!

10:52 AM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Effie said...

eyes...i see eyes...

12:08 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...


1:35 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Unknown said...

Well, Bucky dear, I for one ain’t grumblin’! And, no, you are NOT a lazy blogger. I know what transitions are like—I’ve been through many and am going through a major one right now. When one’s life is evolving in a new direction, priorities change and you can’t do everything!

Posting pictures, whether they be of you in a tiny wedding dress, a prom dress, your eggbeater hair style, or (my favorite) assless chaps, is OK. They are entertaining and I enjoy looking at you. If scanning and posting them are funny enough to help break up your enormous apprehension, then posting them is OK—more than OK, beneficial.

Listen to old man me: you don’t need to publicly humiliate your self for cheap laughs or to be loved. Maybe for crab legs, but for nothing else!

Take care of your new priorities. We—I think I speak for more than just myself—aren’t going to abandon you if you don’t make us laugh. And if you don’t take care of yourself, I just may drive north for 6 hours and 20 minutes the 403 miles that separate us, put you over my knee, and spank your bare ass!

6:31 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger The Q said...

I don't think I've ever commented here, not because I don't want to, but because I don't think I have anything of interest to say.

THAT being said, I want to comment (NOT that I have anything of interest to say now either, but I don't care at this point).

This cracked me up. NOT your picture (I think you have pretty eyes actually, the color ~ not the blank stare)...this sentence for whatever reason, caused me to giggle (LOUDLY) at my computer monitor:

"just-about-to-drool, retarded-deer-in-headlights quality of my facial expression"

Do you mind if I steal that? I have a few people who it describes perfectly!

8:14 PM, April 04, 2006  

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