the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Saturday, April 15, 2006

State of the relocation address

Right now, my room is a tangled maze of cardboard boxes crammed full of my stuff, boxes I brought in the car and boxes that have arrived via UPS and the postal service, boxes awaiting unpacking, categorizing, and storage of their contents. I have no comfortable place in my room from which to write these missives, so I have taken over Nick's desk in the computer room for when I actually want to sit up and type something. Sorry, Nick - I promise it's all yours again after I get a desk in my room.

The fact that my bedroom is in a total state of chaos does not seem to deter the cats, however. They are, in fact, completely fascinated by the fact that the door is closed and they are being denied entry. Somehow, that makes the thought of a feline strut through my scattered belongings even more delicious to them.

Did I mention I'm allergic to the cats? And that allergy meds and a cat-free bedroom allow me to continue breathing even as I enjoy their whiskery, cheeky companionship? Yeah, that makes it even more imperative to the cats that they be allowed access to my room, my stuff, my bed.

They want in so very, very much. Like, this much:

Weebs' recon mission

This is what I saw under my door Friday morning. Weebles very nearly flattened herself enough to slide under the door like a love note from a shy, greasy neighbor.

Almost every time I open that door, there are cats lurking, just waiting for a moment of weakness, a second of vigilance dropped. The little bastards often work in pairs, where one will distract me while another one shoots through the door into forbidden territory. And every time I see it, and go back in to evict the intruder, the sneaky cat will inevitably scoot right under the Play-Doh table, as if it's a cloak of invisibility. I do a bit of cat wrangling.

Wobbles is especially intrigued with my forbidden bedroom. Perhaps he likes the frozen ass treatment - I'll have to get back to you on this one. I'm thinking, though, that it might be advantageous of me to have Buttercup in my room, as she is fierce and does not shrink from battle where it is needed.

Buttercup battle
Buttercup puts the smackdown on Elle Driver.

I'm a little worried about my influence on the impressionable youngsters in the house, though. I worry that they will try to emulate me, and I am certainly no role model. As you can see here, my fears are not unfounded, as one youngster has taken to posing just like I do whenever the opportunity presents itself:

The jolly Betard
For shame, Hermione. For shame.

On a deleriously excellent note, however, I found a store in the neighborhood that sells Vernors! I'd brought some with me, as it's usually hard to find outside Michigan, but now I shall not have to hoarde, nor will I have to beg my sister to send me cases of the delightfully spicy ginger ale. Now, if I can just find somewhere around here where they sell Made Rite (same as Better Made) chips, I will be one extra happy little pervert.

Um, not that I'm not a happy little pervert now, but you know - a pervert is always happiest when acts of perversion can be bookended by one's favorite soda and chips.

16 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Made Rite potatoe chips rule!

9:06 PM, April 15, 2006  
Blogger Charlotte in Pa said...

Ha! Sue's mom just drove out from Ohio today... bringing us 10 12-packs of Vernors! Glad you're settling in and happy! :-)

9:08 PM, April 15, 2006  
Blogger I'm not here. said...

Who won???
Elle or Buttercup?
Inquiring minds need to know!

9:28 PM, April 15, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said... the kittie trying to get in too...just curious...Snickers with you down there?

9:38 PM, April 15, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

I would send you Vernor's if you needed it. So glad you don't. We'll have to work on the chips.

Those naughty kitties. Weebles is not to be trusted. Some day will invent a collapsible skull so she can get under your door.

9:46 PM, April 15, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

The agony of being far from your favorite chip-I know it well.
See, my favorites are Snyder of Berlin BBQ chips.
They are made in Berlin, PA, and are the best fucking chips I've ever eaten.
Are they available outside of Ohio and Penn?
Not that I've found.
It's a horrible addiction.
Though, I WAS able to buy my favorite cheese while in Maine. (Helluva Good Cheese-who doesn't like that name?)

P.S.-They have Vernor's out here in WA, so we're not completely savage. Krispy Kreme finally made it, too.

9:55 PM, April 15, 2006  
Blogger Unknown said...

Enjoy the cats! A feline household provides a lot of material for blogging, as Alex has taught me.

10:42 PM, April 15, 2006  
Blogger Candy said...

Weebles just wants in to she can brag to the other cats that she is special, Wobbles just wants to tell you how tough it is to be him, Buttercup believes herself to be a mountain lion and should never be used for evil.

Hermione however is just a slut.

11:55 PM, April 15, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't wait to hear your dream full of cats. Hopefully, ya won't end up with scratches. Sweeet Purrss...

1:09 AM, April 16, 2006  
Blogger Unknown said...

God I love Vernors...I mean, I LOVE Vernors....(slips into Vernors-induced trance state)...

Yeah, sorry about that. I'm glad you have Scarface with you - it makes everything seem more normal.

1:44 AM, April 16, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Bucky, don't forget to be on gaurd in the bathroom! Our Simon seems to think I'm making Kitty Poop Soup for him and comes in MEOWing and MEOWing.

9:39 AM, April 16, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

Vernors? In WA? I must live in the savage portion of the state because I've never seen it. Jim, I require your assistance in defrocking my Vernor's virginity. (It's not often you get asked to defrock a woman, is it?)

So Bucky, like, you're biased against Canada Dry? You got something against our northerly neighbors? Just wait till Effie hears. She'll come all unglued and start carpet bombing the place with Canada Dry Ginger Ale just for spite. Effie's violent like that. *heh*

2:25 PM, April 16, 2006  
Blogger MrsDoF said...

I was thinking that having my sister in Ohio send Red Rose teabags in the 100 count box to me was a bit too much. At least they're dry, so the postage isn't expensive.
It's nice that you found your favorite Vernor's. My college roomie was originally from Michigan, and she loved Vernor's.
We also have it here in Illinois.

The kittycat face under the door is way too cute. The novelty will wear off. Cats are fincky like that.

7:07 PM, April 16, 2006  
Blogger dashababy said...

Vernors is the best. I knew exactly what you were talking about, especailly good with Jack Daniels. Jack & Ginger got me thru the plane ride to Las Vegas once. Yumm. What a great way to arrive.
Anyhoo, the kitties look adorable and they will have tons o' fun with you and stuff.
You sound happy. :)

1:34 PM, April 17, 2006  
Blogger Maven said...

This post reminds me of that transitional year when I left the WASband and moved in with my cousin, who, at the time, had five cats. However, at the time, I did not realize I possessed an allergy to those cats. So before I moved in, everything got scrubbed, and the bed that was formerly in the room got moved to the basement. And my door was forever closed off to the cats. This of course was a room they always had access to. My cousin, to this day, must think I was being rude to her fur-kids; when the reality was, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and needed a place to sleep, and needed, obviously, to breathe when I slept.

2:41 PM, April 18, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What words... super, an excellent phrase

1:44 AM, March 13, 2010  

Post a Comment

<< Home