the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y (not!)

It used to be that people found my site with nice, ordinary searches like "labia" and "photoshop jizz" and the ever-popular "kielbasa queen" variations. My little world was in just the position I preferred, prone and unsuspecting, and my keel was as even as a keel gets on somebody like me.

But lately, I've been increasingly alarmed to see just how many surfers and seekers are showing up at the Cotillion in the midst of their quest for the Bay City Rollers. I see lots and lots and lots of this, every day, people from all over the globe coming to see me while looking for pictures of the spiky-haired Scottish lads who named their peppy band after a city in Michigan. It's not like I've ever even owned any of the Rollers' albums, or was ever particularly a fan. Their search results stem from an off-hand comment I made about singer Jamie Cullum in this post.

I kinda feel bad for these folks who click on my link, expecting to see something about their favorite 1970s guilty pleasure, and instead finding the virtual crib of a semi-literate and barely sentient font of vulgarity. It's almost tempting to change my masthead to something featuring the boys in the Rollers, just to give these folks hope for another second before they plunge into the taste-forsaken abyss of my words and images.

Oh, and for everyone else: labia, labia, labia, deepthroat kielbasa queen, painting with jizz, toothbrush enema, guinea pig in the vagina, fisting mimes, jaws of life on my nipples, poop.

Thank you. <curtsy>

10 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

Brava, bucky, brava!!!

2:12 PM, July 04, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I came hear looking for cheese but you didn't mention that at all. I'm disappinted and hurt that you just fobbed me off with the labia...

3:24 PM, July 04, 2007  
Blogger Squirl said...

I didn't expect you to post today. Happy 4th!

3:59 PM, July 04, 2007  
Blogger eclectic said...

Oh. I was looking for the holy rollers. *sigh*

Happy ID!

8:59 PM, July 04, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

Interesting post for Independence Day. I hope researching how folks came to this blog didn't consume all your holiday time, Bucky.

1:13 AM, July 05, 2007  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

I'm just here for the smut.

No offense to the Bay City Rollers.

9:57 AM, July 05, 2007  
Blogger Kranki said...

Fisting MIMES?!?


*chokes on own spit*

12:43 PM, July 05, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

-Pieling myself off of the floor.- Thanks, today has been pretty long and boring thus far, needed that. =)

12:55 PM, July 05, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Come for the photoshop jizz... stay for the virtual crib of a semi-literate and barely sentient font of vulgarity."

It's got a great ring to it!

Hope your fourth was fabulous!

1:41 PM, July 05, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i found you by doing a search on "She rarely had gas but when she did it came out pink and glittery and smelled like candy and people cried when it went away" !! My friend got the same card for her 50th bday and I'm trying to re-create it w/rubber stamping so I can spread the glitter candy!!

9:33 AM, July 10, 2007  

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