the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The blue gypsy speaks

218:  Is THIS the card you picked?

For you, I have drawn the Princess card. The Princess card signifies things about who you are and who you will be. You have a naturally regal bearing, and people will follow you, not necessarily for your sense of authority but because of your personal charisma. It is entirely likely that you will marry for money and position, and you will inevitably insist that your husband sleep in the wet spot, when there is a wet spot to be slept in, of course. Servants will fear and despise you because of your violent outbursts involving scissors and giblets. Most everyone will whisper that you are mad, completely and utterly mad, but you will forgive them all, just before you put their heads on pikes, because they could not possibly understand the scope of your mission. The only reason your untreated syphilis will not kill you is that you will choke to death on a stray pubic hair in your tossed salad before the brain ravages can become fatal.

The blue gypsy has spoken. Don't forget your tiara, and please take care not to rub your genitals on anything as you exit the tent.

13 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Squirl said...

The Blue Gypsy knows all, tells what she durned well wants to.

;-)

9:03 PM, June 12, 2007  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

*rapturous applause*
Thanks, Bucky. I needed that. :)

9:45 PM, June 12, 2007  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Squirl - I hear the Blue Gypsy is a $2 whore.

M_D - The Blue Gypsy is always glad to help. Especially if you cross my palm with silver. Or even if you'll just help me trim the hair on my palms.

10:00 PM, June 12, 2007  
Blogger eclectic said...

No genital rubbing? Geez. What a rip off!

11:52 PM, June 12, 2007  
Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

Actually, you got part of it wrong. My servants just laugh at me because my violent outbursts are about slow Internet and the fact that the Cap'n ate all the Edy's lime fruitsicles on me. All the rest is true.

6:01 AM, June 13, 2007  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

What? That's the same damn thing you told me last week. I want my money back.

8:51 AM, June 13, 2007  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Eclectic - no, no, no, don't rip your genitals off, either! No rubbing, no ripping.

HTGT - I see violence over the limesicles in your future. Good thing you have Fiero as an ally.

CKelli - yeah, that's what you said when you paid me $2 for whoring, too. Policy's the same - you can have your money back, but you gotta rassle me for it.

I lose more money that way, but at least my social life is buzzin'!

9:38 AM, June 13, 2007  
Blogger Susie said...

You always inspire me. I thought, "hmm, Wet Spot. What a great name for a bar." I Googled it. It's taken.
(I'm really getting tired of the servants hating me.)

While reading the blog of an alleged, "thinking blogger," I left there thinking (as I often do leave such blogs), "what the HELL are you talking about? I don't know what you're trying to say! Are you that much brighter than I, or are you a fucking naked emperor?" And then I thought, I have to get back to my peeps, to those whose writing I ALWAYS understand, to someone whom, I always KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SHE MEANS. And I came here. Thank God. Thank YOU, Blue Gypsy :)

10:19 AM, June 13, 2007  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie - thank you for not calling me a naked emperor. The Blue Gypsy will remember your kindness, and will cast a curse upon your wretched, ungrateful servants.

10:42 AM, June 13, 2007  
Blogger eclectic said...

OK, but the wax... it kinda rips.

1:21 PM, June 13, 2007  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Eclectic - if the wax is ripping more than the hair, I'd suggest you switch wax brands. Or make sure it's not a vat of Krazy Glue instead.

1:24 PM, June 13, 2007  
Blogger Oliver T. Kittie said...

Having been a Follower of the Blue Gypsy for a couple of years now, please accept my $2 in pirated gold .

Times are tough down here on Perdido Bay but I just know that Pirate's Cove Riff Raff can scrounge something up from the community treasure chest(s).

myspace.com/piratescoveriffraff
www.piratescoveriffraff.com

AbandonHope All Ye Who Enter....

11:21 AM, June 15, 2007  
Blogger Flying Mermaid said...

Uncanny!

3:41 PM, June 17, 2007  

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