C'mon down to Tardville

Here's why it is, perhaps, a little dangerous to leave me alone for such long stretches of time:





A few other notes for the night:

• Squirl got me a birthday card that has a picture of a princess on the front, and on the inside it reads:
  
  She rarely passed gas, but when she did, it came out pink and glittery, and it smelled like candy, and people cried when it went away.
  
  She's been my sister for a long time - she oughta know!
  
  
• In the middle of my David Lynch DVD-fest lately, I have found something even more surreal and disturbing to watch: The 3-DVD set of the best of the Captain and Tennille Show! Oh, the production numbers! Oh, the jawdroppingly awful costumes and sets! Oh, the ABC tie-in guest stars in the lamest comedy skits you will ever call "comedy skits" and not "suicide notes." Don't get me wrong; having this 30-years-later re-viewing of my once-favorite show has not lessened my adoration for the Captain and Tennille. On the contrary, this is giving me so many laughs I can share with my family and friends that I love them even a little bit more for releasing this bundle of joy into my life. Really, you haven't lived until you've seen Toni Tennille, clad in blue silk overalls and a straw hat, perform Elton John's Honky Cat while dancing among a half dozen of the lightest-loafered boys in the biz (also in overalls and straw hats). Yes, I suppose I've had the campiest of weekends.
  
  
• Friday woke me up this morning by hooking a claw into my left big toe. I yanked my foot as I awoke, making it ever so much worse, and the pain was absolutely searing and insistent. I cursed my way to the bathroom, then went back to bed without really looking at my throbbing toe. When I came out of my morning stupor a few hours later, I examined my foot in the light and saw that my toe had bled more than a bit.
  
  Now I'm worried; do you think the kittens are drinking my blood while I'm asleep? If so, do you think it will cause them to grow thumbs? I can't think of many nightmares worse than vampire kittens with opposable thumbs.