the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

This one goes in my lap

There was a new arrival in my house this weekend; I couldn't be prouder.

No, I haven't adopted a kitten, nor have I given birth, nor have I brought in an exotic slut mistress/housekeeper (though I am currently interviewing applicants for that position). All I did was open the door and let the Red Rocket in.

The Red Rocket? you say. But gosh, Katy, we'd rather put knitting needles up our asses and then lick them clean than hear about the power tools you keep in your nightstand drawer. Have you no sense of decency? Is there no modestly left on the internet?

Relax, you nervous fuckers, I'm not about to start whipping out my electric twat kazoos; all that would get me is a lot of emails about the dangers of combining excessive moisture with frayed wires, and who needs that lecture for the 92nd time?

Friday surfs with Red Rocket

You'll have to take my word for it, but this Red Rocket does not get shoved into any of my convenient love openings. But, theoretically, if that did happen, the case on this wipes clean with no trouble at all.

If you need me, I'll be surfing the Web from my bedroom, accompanied by the gentle melody of The Nubbly Backdoor Jackhammer.

UPDATE: Red Rocket, now with flames by Circus Kelli, famed blogger and kidnapper!

Red Rocket, flamed by Circus Kelli

15 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Unknown said...

Oooo... pwitty. Me likey.

All it needs now are some flames on the case...

8:54 AM, August 28, 2007  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

No, no... the flames are coming from the faulty wiring on my Vag-O-Matic.

9:58 AM, August 28, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

Ahhhhhhhh. But no matter what you call it, m'dear, it is still another toy.

11:31 AM, August 28, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

Really? Perhaps more lube is necessary... not that I would know about such things...

12:22 PM, August 28, 2007  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

SSNick - Yeah, but I can play with this toy in the airport and not get dragged off by security.

CKelli - Of course you wouldn't know about such things. (Oh, by the way - I did receive your application for exotic slut mistress/housekeeper...your credentials are impeccable, but I'm afraid I simply cannot accept applicants with children at this time. Sorry!)

12:31 PM, August 28, 2007  
Blogger Pretzellu said...

OMG! How did you do it? I am on my 3rd order after 2 have been cancelled due to delays. Am very mad at DELL for all their hefty ads and no products. PPPFFT!

2:53 PM, August 28, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

DEWD!!! You got a Dell!

4:34 PM, August 28, 2007  
Blogger PlazaJen said...

Don't put yer eye out! (wait, that's a Red Ryder.)
Hey, today's Get Fuzzy sports a t-shirt I think we'd all enjoy:

4:51 PM, August 28, 2007  
Blogger Mike said...

God I so want one of those. The nifty new computer. Not the backdoor jackhammer.

7:28 PM, August 28, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck with the new 'puter... but I need to know, did you blog anything after the words, "we'd rather put knitting needles up our asses and then lick them clean?"... because honestly... I'm getting sucked into the monitor a la Lawn Mower Man, and I can't stop...


did she really say "lick them clean?"

8:41 PM, August 28, 2007  
Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

Yes. She did. But she can. She's Bucky4eyes.

8:59 PM, August 28, 2007  
Blogger Squirl said...

I just wonder what Friday's looking at. He has those popsicle eyes.

Nice flames, CK!

9:05 PM, August 28, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very impressive! Let's hope it's fast enough to keep up with you! ;)

6:39 AM, August 29, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

What? No applicants with kids?! That's discrimination!

(Thanks Squirl. I'm a cyber-pyromaniac at heart)

11:08 AM, August 29, 2007  
Blogger Kranki said...

Oooooh, sexy!

2:22 PM, August 29, 2007  

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