This one goes in my lap
There was a new arrival in my house this weekend; I couldn't be prouder.
No, I haven't adopted a kitten, nor have I given birth, nor have I brought in an exotic slut mistress/housekeeper (though I am currently interviewing applicants for that position). All I did was open the door and let the Red Rocket in.
The Red Rocket? you say. But gosh, Katy, we'd rather put knitting needles up our asses and then lick them clean than hear about the power tools you keep in your nightstand drawer. Have you no sense of decency? Is there no modestly left on the internet?
Relax, you nervous fuckers, I'm not about to start whipping out my electric twat kazoos; all that would get me is a lot of emails about the dangers of combining excessive moisture with frayed wires, and who needs that lecture for the 92nd time?
You'll have to take my word for it, but this Red Rocket does not get shoved into any of my convenient love openings. But, theoretically, if that did happen, the case on this wipes clean with no trouble at all.
If you need me, I'll be surfing the Web from my bedroom, accompanied by the gentle melody of The Nubbly Backdoor Jackhammer.
UPDATE: Red Rocket, now with flames by Circus Kelli, famed blogger and kidnapper!
No, I haven't adopted a kitten, nor have I given birth, nor have I brought in an exotic slut mistress/housekeeper (though I am currently interviewing applicants for that position). All I did was open the door and let the Red Rocket in.
The Red Rocket? you say. But gosh, Katy, we'd rather put knitting needles up our asses and then lick them clean than hear about the power tools you keep in your nightstand drawer. Have you no sense of decency? Is there no modestly left on the internet?
Relax, you nervous fuckers, I'm not about to start whipping out my electric twat kazoos; all that would get me is a lot of emails about the dangers of combining excessive moisture with frayed wires, and who needs that lecture for the 92nd time?
You'll have to take my word for it, but this Red Rocket does not get shoved into any of my convenient love openings. But, theoretically, if that did happen, the case on this wipes clean with no trouble at all.
If you need me, I'll be surfing the Web from my bedroom, accompanied by the gentle melody of The Nubbly Backdoor Jackhammer.
UPDATE: Red Rocket, now with flames by Circus Kelli, famed blogger and kidnapper!
Katy Barzedor proclaimed this to be so at 8:42 AM
15 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
Oooo... pwitty. Me likey.
All it needs now are some flames on the case...
No, no... the flames are coming from the faulty wiring on my Vag-O-Matic.
Ahhhhhhhh. But no matter what you call it, m'dear, it is still another toy.
Really? Perhaps more lube is necessary... not that I would know about such things...
SSNick - Yeah, but I can play with this toy in the airport and not get dragged off by security.
CKelli - Of course you wouldn't know about such things. (Oh, by the way - I did receive your application for exotic slut mistress/housekeeper...your credentials are impeccable, but I'm afraid I simply cannot accept applicants with children at this time. Sorry!)
OMG! How did you do it? I am on my 3rd order after 2 have been cancelled due to delays. Am very mad at DELL for all their hefty ads and no products. PPPFFT!
Lucky!
DEWD!!! You got a Dell!
Don't put yer eye out! (wait, that's a Red Ryder.)
Hey, today's Get Fuzzy sports a t-shirt I think we'd all enjoy:
http://www.comics.com//comics/getfuzzy/
God I so want one of those. The nifty new computer. Not the backdoor jackhammer.
Good luck with the new 'puter... but I need to know, did you blog anything after the words, "we'd rather put knitting needles up our asses and then lick them clean?"... because honestly... I'm getting sucked into the monitor a la Lawn Mower Man, and I can't stop...
::BLINK::
::BLINK::
did she really say "lick them clean?"
Yes. She did. But she can. She's Bucky4eyes.
I just wonder what Friday's looking at. He has those popsicle eyes.
Nice flames, CK!
Very impressive! Let's hope it's fast enough to keep up with you! ;)
What? No applicants with kids?! That's discrimination!
(Thanks Squirl. I'm a cyber-pyromaniac at heart)
Oooooh, sexy!
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