It has been twenty-eight years since my last confession. . .
Shameful things to which I will admit at this particular moment:
- I still like Madonna's first two albums. And I have them both. On vinyl.
- One time in second grade, I came to school dressed in a little plaid jacket with matching bow tie, and carrying a little briefcase, because. . .who the fuck knows why? All I know is, Mom let me leave the house that way, and people were still reminding me of it when I was old enough to try getting laid. Needless to say, that didn't help the cause. And before someone brings it up because I didn't expressly mention it -- yes, I was wearing pants with the outfit. Mom may have wanted me laughed at, but she probably didn't want me molested. I think. She certainly kept me from being molested in high school.
- When I had Nudgie, a long-haired cat, I used to cut her fur into purposely preposterous and asymmetrical shapes, just for my own amusement. Jim always called me the Picasso of Hairdressers. My personal favorite: one side of the face smooth, the other side coming out to a sweeping point, and her chest mane cut like Bozo's neck ruff. Good times!
- I was nearly 25 years old before I got a driver's license. Sweet whistlin' Jesus, how did I ever live before that?
- Since I've been sucked into the surreal whirlwind that is blogging, I've almost completely ignored my music projects. This may or may not be a bad thing.
- You don't want to be around me if I drink milk.
- Even though I was raised Catholic, I was never once molested by a priest. And it wasn't for lack of tryin' on my part.
Katy Barzedor proclaimed this to be so at 9:25 PM
13 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
You should totally blame your mom for letting you go to school dressed like that. I'm seeing you two on Oprah.....wait. Maybe Jerry Springer?
One time I took a game board that looked like a briefcase to school and tried to pass it off.
I saw Madonna on the "Like a Virgin" tour, but got to the show late and missed her opening act, The Beastie Boys, because I was stuck at my high school band concert (not cool rock band, but band-geek band. I played French Horn). It's definitely cool by me to like her first two albums. And "Like a Prayer," and "Ray of Light" while you're at it.
LadyBug -- It's true, I've always wanted to hear the crowd chant "JER-RY! JER-RY!" while I fling chairs at family members. I'll let y'all know the air date.
Striz -- a game board passed off as a briefcase? Are you sure you're not the daughter I never knew I had?
Closet -- Too bad aboot the Beastie Boys. :( That's about the time they were fighting for their right to party, wasn't it? Can't poke a bit o' fun at you about the french horn, though -- I was an orchestra geek (cello then bass).
My fave Madonna song is still "Into the Groove" even though it's not on either album I mentioned. Gotta go check iTunes now. . .
And here I was, just this morning, happily singing along to La Isla Bonita, and dreaming of a sunny island.... ...guess I didn't know it was a shameful thing.
(although, maybe that wasn't on her first two albums which makes it less shameful? hmmm. dunno.)
I watched 13 Going on 30 over the weekend. It wasn't very good, but the 80's clothes and references were funny.
Oh, trust me, willingly listening to La Isla Bonita is very, very shameful. But, I have that album too, so at least it's a shared shame.
Izzat album "True Blue"? Too lazy to check cdnow. . .
You know how tolerant Mom's always been of your picking on her, coming home drunk, etc.? Well, that was also extended to allowing you to wear a dorky outfit if you really wanted to. I guess it's a trade-off. :-)
I am SO giving my cats a haircut tonight. Thank you for adding to my arsenal of kitty torture!
Immaculate Collection is the only thing that puts me in the mood for some kickass house cleaning. Madonna makes me feel totally empowered and gives me strength to tackle the dust.
I guess Mom still comes out owing me plenty of humilation for my bitchery over the years.
And, bad bad daughter that I am, I just now shipped Mom's Christmas presents. Yes, from Christmas 2004.
Yes, I am a terrible, terrible daughter. . .
perhaps..youda.had.better.luck.getting.molested.hangin.out.with.the.nuns!
You're.lacking.the.genitalia.prefered.3.to.1.by.priests!
(sorry.....spacebar.not.working)
LOL Greatwhite -- wish that had occurred to me sooner!
Actually, I kinda like reading your comment out loud with the punctuation you used. Makes for a very dramatic reading. Nearly. . .Shatnerian!
I.wasn't.raised.Catholic.STOP.So.why.do.I.feel.so.guilty.for.all.those.getting.nailed.by.big.strapping.strap-bearing.Priest-Lumberjackman.on.the.altar.fantasies.I.had.in.my.twenties.STOP.
Anything involving Catholicism, even if you haven't been indoctrinated since birth, is automatically steeped with guilt.
that.and.priests.are.just.dead.sexy.STOP
Post a Comment
<< Home