Lazy Bucky's quickies
- Dinnertime outburst, uprovoked and apropos of nothing, by my brother Tardist: "Chinese diarrhea sculpture!"
- Clearly tired of watching me shop for makeup in Meijer, Tardist offered, helpfully and as loudly as he could: "Don't forget the rectal rouge!"
- Jim's new band name and/or million-dollar product idea: Flaming Rectal Butter
- The last thing Jim said to me as I left for the laundromat this afternoon: "Close the door -- I'm NAAAAKED!"
6 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
Okay.
So now I have an image of a naked Jim needing rectal rouge following his recent bout of Flaming Chinese Butter Diarrhea.
Oh, and in my mental image, Jim looks like your profile pic.
*snort*
LadyBug, you need help.
That's why you're my pal!
I have made many Chinese Diarrhea Sculptures in my life.
One that I keep making over and over, and can't seem to move on to something else, so many sleepless nights spent working on it, perfecting my form, over and over, is the Sesame Chicken Porridge-Textured Ritual Mound.
"Flaming Rectal Butter"...sung to the tune of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire".
P.S. Next time Tardist yells something like that, just respond in kind and just as loud:
"You know the Dr. said you couldn't have anal sex again until your ass stitches heal up!! No anal rouge for a while, so you can just drop it! Or do I HAVE TO TAKE YOU OUT TO THE PARKING LOT FOR A TALKING-TO RIGHT THIS MINUTE?
Girl.A -- you simply must capture photographic evidence of your sculpture masterpiece. I might be interested in purchasing an original. Get with me.
I will be sure to try that next time Tardist tries (tries) to embarrass me in public. Or I might just put the mascara in his cart.
Dazed: He went down, down, down, in a flaming rectal butter. . .
Yeah, totally works for me.
Now I know why I dress in black all the time.
Squish -- I'll have to remember that if I get flashed again. Unfortunately, I'm past the age where a man thinks he can shock me. I'll have to wait 'til the hair gets grayer, then the shock value goes up again.
A Beret? I guess he really was OF FRANCE!!!!
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