the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Sunday, January 22, 2006

This is what happens when I post sober

Warning: I will be talking about General Hospital in this post. But before your eyes glaze over, let me just say:

Look at my monkey! Right in its face! Look at my creased monkey!

My creased monkey
What? What the fuck did you think I meant?

Okay, now that we've all faced my creased monkey and lived to tell the tale, let me get back to the GH agenda I whipped out earlier.

If ever there was soap royalty, it was was Luke and Laura. Their romance (but let's not talk about that first "date" - ahem) sparked even my interest back in the day (cavewoman talk for the 1980s), and unprecedented number of Americans tuned in every day to follow their convoluted but always entertaining misadventures. I can only conclude that this means Americans are very easily entertained.

Luke is still around, in between long vacations, and they've long since stuck Laura, unseen, in a catatonic state in some hospital. The show has never dared to recast its most overwhelmingly popular characters. And now, the only daughter of Luke and Laura, one Lulu Spencer, has been made a teenager and brought to the forefront of the storyline. One would think that the offspring of soap royalty would be treated with the same deference, in memory of the astronomically high ratings once achieved by mommy and daddy.

But this, instead, is what they chose to do to Lulu one day last week, when they had her walk in front of a vase full of red roses:

The only daughter of Luke and Laura...

Please don't even tell me that's not by design. How disrespectful can you get? My lord, I was pissed - and got more and more pissed each minute I left it on pause and took pictures. I shook with righteous anger, so hard that it might perhaps have taken on the appearance of laughter. Of course, I would never find humor in something like this. That would be wrong.

Admittedly, I need help. Or better hobbies. Or lots of Play-Doh and a rubber room.

15 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger I'm not here. said...

You're gonna need more play-doh to pull that one off.
Nice monkey, by the way...

10:41 PM, January 22, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

How'd your monkey get so creased? Been riding it too hard?

And as for Lulu, that's just beyond hilarious! Poor little (red-nippled) dear...

11:04 PM, January 22, 2006  
Blogger I'm not here. said...

Do not look directly into the petals...

11:37 PM, January 22, 2006  
Blogger Candy said...

If someone was to read this post in the wrong frame of mind they might think you were talking about pussy and titties on a teenage girl.

But we all know thats not what your talking about at all, are you. Are you?

1:08 AM, January 23, 2006  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Ah, the Austin Powers effect. How devilishly clever of them.

8:21 AM, January 23, 2006  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

M_D - I always pull it off with Play-Doh. Wait, that sounded bad...

Eclectic - at my age, the monkey tends to crease on her own. And I am soooo glad I tape GH and can pause joyful moments like this, that I may share with you, the Internet as a Whole.

M_D - what about the monkey's petals?

Jess - Um, er, ah, that is...hey, lady - this is a FAMILY blog.
You know in a "Family Guy" kinda way.
So yes. I guess I was.

JDR - no, I can't run drunk - I tend to fall down.

Nilbo - I guess it goes to show that even daytime dramas can be a little shagadelic.

Then again, maybe I'm just a sick fuck who sits around all day and waits for stuff like this to happen.

8:29 AM, January 23, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

I can't say that the little shit didn't deserve it.

9:45 AM, January 23, 2006  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh my on the rosebud boobies!
Hey! Nice Monkey, Bucky! :)

Happy Monday!

10:31 AM, January 23, 2006  
Blogger Random and Odd said...

LuLu...duh..I totally forgot about her.
What happened boy they had? uh....uh...*grinding teeth trying to remember* Lucas? no. the one that was dating the cute girl...ARG..
This is why I don't watch soaps anymore!!

1:59 PM, January 23, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I would say something about a "blossoming young blonde" but I don't want to sound lecherous or anythin'.

3:41 PM, January 23, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

Kristine, was it Lucky?

Bucky, what did happen to that poor monkey?
I used to watch GH, waaaaay back in the day. I could never get past that one unfortunate "first date." I like them, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't forget that storyline. For those who don't know, she married her rapist. Is it any wonder she's in a nut hut?

6:14 PM, January 23, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! I remember Lulu from when she was a baby! She had black curly hair, no?

That Lulu, she bleaches her hair! AND WHAT IS WITH THOSE RED TITTIES?

I've missed you, Bucky, you and your cotillionerousness.

6:15 PM, January 23, 2006  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Squirl - yeah, Lulu is quite the brat. But I'm sure they'll go all soft and redeem her. Ugh.

CKelli - nice to know there's another monkey fan in the house!

R&O - ha, Susie is right that you mean Lucky. But Lusas IS Lucky's cousin. So you're still good.

Mr. B - well, hell - you're already a perv for bein' here.

Susie - it always boggled my mind that arguably the most popular couple in soap history started out with a rape.
And don't all monkeys crease with age?

Girl.A - missed you too, Miss Vagina Dentata! And just a couple of months ago, Lulu was a quiet, shy little ten year old. Then they gave her the SORAS (soap opera rapid aging syndrome) and brought her back as a troubled teen. Magic!

10:08 PM, January 23, 2006  
Blogger Unknown said...

Bucky, when you say “monkey” I now never know what to expect. (Hmm, I feel interested in some monkey-business tonight).

10:40 PM, January 23, 2006  
Blogger Annejelynn said...

I'm allll for Playdoh

12:26 PM, January 24, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home