the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Chicks with dicks

Hello, Religious Police and Intellectual Property Rights Department? I'd like to report a theft of the most despicable kind: plagiarism of a cartoon religious tract.

A few weeks ago, I happened to chance upon one of those little comic books that members of some churches leave tucked away in public places. This wouldn't be my first encounter with this form of animated gospel interpretation - I found them often as a teenager (now I wonder if that was so coincidental). I saw enough of them, and read enough of them aloud dramatically, to become something of a conoisseur of the artform, and I learned that the pinnacle of the cartooned gospel interpretation/warning message was anything being surreptitiously slipped onto the market by Chick Publications. Chick is the king. So when I found the comic recently, the first thing I did was flip it over to see if it was really top drawer; it wasn't. I heaved a sigh and read the silly thing anyway. Really, I have all kinds of better things to do, but sometimes a girl's just gotta stop and smell the religious tract.

It started off with a question, which always pisses me off, because nobody told me there would be a quiz, and I was in no way prepared.

What is your life?
My life...is a series of upright moments followed by sudden downward motion and bruising.




Am I in hell?
"Am I in Hell? How did I get here?"
I'm gonna guess it was the '80s porn-star moustache.




Have you fellows heard the latest dirty joke?
"Have you fellows heard the latest dirty joke?" "My, what a nice one!"
Personally, if my teenage son talked like that, I'd smack him for bein' a pussy.




Whoremonger
How did this guy find time for covetous idolatry and cheating sodomy, all the while juggling his duties as a disobedient homosexual and thieving hypocrite? He was one busy lying whoremonger.




Lake of fire
I can think of no better argument in favor of making reservations!


The tract amused me sufficiently, obviously, and I was willing to let it slide that the quality was not quite...Chick Publications quality. That is, until I went to Chick's website and saw that this "What is Your Life" tract was stolen, almost panel for panel, from a Chick tract. It was like a designer knock-off! I can't even begin to convey to you the outrage that is burning a grail-shaped pattern in my craw.

The tract is called This Was Your Life and here are some of the purloined panels.


chick_whatisyourlfe.gif

chick_niceone.gif

chick_whoremonger.gif

chick_lakeoffire.gif

So what's the penalty for thievery of cartoons about God? Whatever the outcome, we can only hope it results in a new comic.

21 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

As a theologian, my decisive evaluation is: the theology of that comic sucks.

10:58 PM, March 12, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

Chick publications getting ripped off? Is there some kind of karma in that?

11:24 PM, March 12, 2006  
Blogger Michael said...

oh dear god. I shouldn't laugh like that right before bed... :)

11:27 PM, March 12, 2006  
Blogger Jim said...

The Chic folks don't mention homosexuality. So - I'm good, then? I'm not going to burn on the eternal lake of fire or be forced to listen to Marie Osmond sing 'Paper Roses?'.

Please tell me. I need absolution.

11:37 PM, March 12, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

My grandmother is a pentacostal preacher, so I have read my share of these little booklets.

The illustrations are something else.

12:05 AM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger Zombie_Flyboy said...

I would think something from "Chick" publications would be pron of some sort.

Anyway, if a religious group steals another religious group's ideas, is that a sin?

Should we get to work on a comic book about this very subject and distribute it all over the country Bucky?

6:14 AM, March 13, 2006  
Anonymous lawbrat said...

Oh my. I'm completely commentless. Kinda like speechless, but with typing. Is there such a thing?

Oh, by the way...washer won over the mac mini- neener,neener,neener!

;-P

8:09 AM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger Cincy Diva said...

Maybe the so-called gay agenda should borrow from the religious tract people and make a gay recruitment tract to pass out and leave in public places.

8:25 AM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Whoa. So much for the ethics of the "copy cats".

9:18 AM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

This Chick we keep talking about...cute? Single?

9:33 AM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger hemlock said...

Whenever I see those, I have to ask "is this for real, or it is satire?"

I can never tell.

12:51 PM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

Ah, the magic of the Chick tract. We always had some hanging about at whatever church I went to. Used to have a pretty good collection, too, damnit.

I loved that cranky hard-line bastard!

3:10 PM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger limpy99 said...

I guess the religious nut who ripped off Chick will find himself in hell for lying and thieving. I hope they put him next to the homosexual whoremongerer.

4:00 PM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

Lake of Fire? That's in Idaho, right? The naturally occuring hot springs up in the Malard-Larkin Wilderness area. Last time I was there, I had to backpack 8 or 9 miles to reach it, so I'm really glad to hear -- from 2 religious publications -- that you can now get there merely by lusting. It's almost like they've installed an elevator access or something.

4:53 PM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I thought the Lake of Fire was in "Clash of the Titans"?

5:16 PM, March 13, 2006  
Anonymous Homosexual Whoremonger said...

Hey, Limpy! Whatya mean?

5:41 PM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Gee im sorry I havent had time to comment you sinner, but I was busy hanging out with your sister.

MUHAHAHAHHAAA

5:50 PM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger Zombie_Flyboy said...

"Lake of Fire" is a great song too.

7:07 PM, March 13, 2006  
Anonymous jd's rose said...

Interesting. Question for you... if all of those things are going to send you to hell, is any one going to heaven? Just wondering.

7:27 PM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

I have so read that one that is called This was your life or whatever.
That is some fucked up shit.
Why the fuck do they use comics to do this..to make it more fun to read.
What the fuck fucking ever.

8:36 PM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger whfropera said...

Did anyone else notice that the "angel" looked a hell of a lot like the Sandman from the Neil Gaiman graphic novels?
Methinks Neil has a lawsuit a brewin'...

7:30 AM, March 14, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home