the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Sketch of the day

So, I hear the rumor goin' around is that I was a nice girl, a clean girl, a sober girl, before I started this dirty blogging bizness.

*GACKKHH!*

Sorry, I just choked on laughter there a little. Nobody thinks that, right?

But just in case any of you still have lingering doubts, I'd like to show you some cartoons I drew in (I'm pretty sure) 1986 as Christmas presents. Yeah, I was one cheap-ass, underemployed biatch back in the day, and so my idea of a "great" Christmas present was to draw some lame-ass, sicko cartoons, then hit the copy machine at the library and make copies for my family and friends. God, I used to get some shitty looks from the librarians. Some people just don't appreciate penis and vomit cartoons. And I'm sure my family and friends were extremely underwhelmed by my gift (I gave these, and worse, to my parents, fer chrissake).

So, let's flash back to that magical time that was Christmas 1986.


Cat fashion
The current resurgence in cat fashion is, of course, the pillbox hat...(veil is optional)

Granted, that's not disgusting or filthy, but you have to admit - it's fuckin' weird. You think Mom and Dad shoulda brought in the professionals at this point?




The king's pate
"Bring me my pate!" demanded King Jiggney, prodding the waiter with his rather impressive pee pee....

King Jiggney's got some serious model cheekbones goin' on there. And why did I not include a picture of the pee pee prodding? But you have to give me props for bringin' the pee pee action in the clutch.



Denial corner
Denial Corner "I'm not REALLY gay - not unless you want me to be."

Okay, again we have the pretty boy with great cheekbones. Have I ever told you drag queens piss me off 'cause they're so much prettier than my born-female ass is? Well, same goes for this guy.



And finally, one that is art and poetry, all in one bargain-basement presentation!

Big scoop of doom

The general concensus
Seemed gloomy for the man
He was doomed to a life
Cleaning out the cat's pan....

I guess I just didn't realize I was that, well, reflective at that age. Or that obsessed with cat poop.

At least now you know why people don't clamor to be on my Christmas card list.

28 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Kat said...

All pussies deserve a pill box hat and who doesn't want pate for their pee pee? I don't see the problem here...

10:00 PM, March 02, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I hate it when the cat sits there waiting & watching.

10:16 PM, March 02, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

Oo! Oo! I totally need to be on your christmas card list!
I totally need model cheekbones and cat poop rhymes. Especially that time of year.

10:59 PM, March 02, 2006  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

My pussy loves her pillbox hat.
And she likes the matching veil, although it does get in the way from time to time.

11:18 PM, March 02, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

I saw these on Flickr last night and remarking to Ichabod how you draw such long faces. Those model's cheekbones just had to be there. And we won't even talk about art work you did earlier than that period.

7:16 AM, March 03, 2006  
Anonymous kalki said...

King Jiggney totally looks like Jesus. And that last one SO resonates with me.

8:52 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

I so want to be on your Christmas card list.
You crazy ass biatch.

9:21 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Kat - Is "pate for their pee pee" anything like "TP for my bunghole?"

Mr B - yeah, because you know they're just gonna put new stuff in there as soon as your back is turned.

Madame D - You are on the list now. Now, do you mean rhymes about cat poop, or rhymes written on/with cat poop? I have two lists, just wanna make sure you're on the right one.

RSG - Do you ever get pussy veil chafing? I hate that!
And now, for some reason, the song Chantilly Lace comes to mind...

Squirl - you mean all the giant schlong pictures? Oh, just wait until I publish the cartoon about the teenager, the vibrator, and the teddy bear.

Kalki - I find it helps to ease the gloom of catpan cleaning if you can put a popsicle up the cat's ass when you're done.

9:22 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Pissy, you sneaked in there!

So, do you want to cat poop or the non-cat poop Christmas card?

9:29 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Jim said...

I so want to be on your Christmas card list.

People that are that far out in left field and just march to their own little drummer fascinate the hell out of me.

I want to be you.

9:36 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

I wanna be on your Christmas card list!

9:50 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

That and it's almost like they disapprove. Picky bastards.

10:41 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger OneCrueGirl said...

I totally want a Christmas card! I was going to say that King J. looked like Jesus too, but Kalki beat me to it. Is that so wrong to think that the Son of God was wanting pate? And poking someone with his nether-regions? Who does that?
And so you know, my husband always doodles pictures of the cats crawling out of a steaming, filled cat box. Birds of a feather, I guess.
When I was in high school, I used to draw a cartoon called The Horny Ninja. Although I never gave them as gifts, there are several Butte High School yearbooks between the years of 1994-1998 that have been desicrated by the Horny Ninja. Ah, the high school years.

10:59 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

Jesus was a model who ate pate'?

"Illustrated Bible Studies with Bucky" -- I'm sure we can find a market for this.

11:00 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger sullen girl said...

You're fucking hysterical!! hahaha... those cartoons are great! That would have been a fantastic gift!!

11:06 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger abcd said...

Bucky,
I was on my now daily "I need my
BH fix". And now this? Yes sign me
up for your Christmas card list.
Does it matter that I don't really
celebrate Christmas?

I think we need another "BH" episode.
Am I the only one who thinks that is
the absolute greatest post ever.

Nikki

My coworker is also addicted to the
"BH" post. "He says Nikki how do I find that" I could have some great
leverage with this guy now.

11:16 AM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

ohlord, look what you've done to Nikki. She's pimping out your site at work!

I love the cat in the hat. Now, the "impressive pee pee," was that a gift for your parents or . . .

I linked you today, reminiscing about my guest Gumby porn post here, way back in the day :)

12:54 PM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

I'm guessing that you would send out some totally killer, and highly festive Christmas cards...

2:31 PM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Im working on getting you those anus flavored drugs right now.

3:29 PM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Effie said...

Um, er, beautiful Bucky--that last "cat pan" saying had me cracking up over here...

3:40 PM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Jim - if you want to be me, first thing you need to do is drop a few IQ points and get some chaps.

M_D - oh, you think so NOW...but what'll you say when the goat shows up on your doorstep?

Mr. B - I don't know if they ever disapprove of getting their poop cleaned up. They're sorta sticklers about having clean spots in the litter.

OneCrueGirl - OK, we need to see pictures of hubby's catpan drawrings and some Horny Ninja.
It's mandatory now.

Eclectic - Sunday school will never be the same after I take over.

Sullen Girl - thanks! I have to think the family would secretly have rather had gift cards to the mall or something, though...

SWLF - ye shall henceforth have Hillbilly Christmas. I'm glad you and your colleague like my BH expose. Perhaps I should further explore the relationship between Sonny Drysdale and Dash Riprock?

Susie - oh, I have no shame. I definitely gave the impressive pee pee one to my parents. The only Christmas cartoon I ever left out of my parents' booklet was one about how cunnilingus can ruin one's ability to whistle (complete with pictures of the heinous act). For SOME reason, Tardist was adamant that Mom and Dad NOT get that one.

CKelli - Christmas cards, each adorned with a perfect print of my ass cheeks...

Jess - whose anus is providing the flavoring? Or is each one different, like a box of Russell Stover's chocolates? Do I need to play "Guess the Anus"?
Woohoo, lotta fun, lotta fun!

3:42 PM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Effie - glad you like my sensitive, poetic side, too. :)

3:43 PM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Zombie_Flyboy said...

The cat in the pillbox hat looks stoned.

5:47 PM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

This is better than that shit at the Louvre.

7:19 PM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Lori said...

Thanks for the laugh. The king looks an awful lot like typical Jesus.

8:12 PM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Damn, Bucky! I get sick for one day and almost miss the art treasures!

11:04 PM, March 03, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

Well, I have to admit, tempting as it is, I have to decline cards actually on cat poop.
While I know you will be having an endless supply, I do too.
And if you sent me some, I'd just have to send you some right back.
Eventually, the post office would complain.

2:58 AM, March 05, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

Already have one.
His name is Julio.
He likes beer.
Bring beer. :o)

4:27 PM, March 05, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home