Stowaway Homies and other claptrap
There just might need to be an intervention.
When I went to dress for bed last night, which is to say, when I exchanged my daytime flannel for my nighttime flannel, a Homie fell out of my bra.
What the fuck was a Homie doing in my bra? Was he spying on my boobs? Or, much harder to take, did I get a little too drunk and let the Homies have their way with me, like Lilliputians gangbanging Gulliver in a frothy, foamy midget frenzy? I'm just afraid what my gynecologist will find at my next appointment.
And speaking of foamy little people, I'm sure I've mentioned the charmingly titled porn video Pee Midget Pee here before. I have brought visual proof tonight that this isn't just some repressed desire to be hosed down by the seven dwarves raising its ugly head, no indeed (because I've dealt with that issue separately and my therapist says it's nearly almost kinda resolved).
And voila!
Because the pineapples make it all better. And all my porn should have Howard Stern's recommendation, or at least his name on the cover.
I was gonna post the cover to Crack Whores of America too, but after what I did to you last night with the Hillbillies, I thought I'd cut you some, uh, slack.
Also, I'm really glad I didn't go with the Andy Griffith Show expose I'd thought about. The timing is bad. Even I think it would be in bad taste. For now. Because Don Knotts was a rockin' stud. But someday, the truth about Aunt "Fill me up with honey" Bea must be told. With pictures. Because I care enough to post only the most revolting images and ideas I can assemble. Attention to detail, that's what it's all about here.
Speaking of revolting, I feel the need to share the following link with you all. Eveyone who's seen it thus far agrees that it is, indeed, highly disgusting. Perfect!
Ladies, gentlemen, and the people who are actually here, I present to you:
The diarrhea button
Who, who, who is the genius who saw the need for this and created it? This is perfect for so many occasions!
ps: diarrhea button
When I went to dress for bed last night, which is to say, when I exchanged my daytime flannel for my nighttime flannel, a Homie fell out of my bra.
What the fuck was a Homie doing in my bra? Was he spying on my boobs? Or, much harder to take, did I get a little too drunk and let the Homies have their way with me, like Lilliputians gangbanging Gulliver in a frothy, foamy midget frenzy? I'm just afraid what my gynecologist will find at my next appointment.
And speaking of foamy little people, I'm sure I've mentioned the charmingly titled porn video Pee Midget Pee here before. I have brought visual proof tonight that this isn't just some repressed desire to be hosed down by the seven dwarves raising its ugly head, no indeed (because I've dealt with that issue separately and my therapist says it's nearly almost kinda resolved).
And voila!
Because the pineapples make it all better. And all my porn should have Howard Stern's recommendation, or at least his name on the cover.
I was gonna post the cover to Crack Whores of America too, but after what I did to you last night with the Hillbillies, I thought I'd cut you some, uh, slack.
Also, I'm really glad I didn't go with the Andy Griffith Show expose I'd thought about. The timing is bad. Even I think it would be in bad taste. For now. Because Don Knotts was a rockin' stud. But someday, the truth about Aunt "Fill me up with honey" Bea must be told. With pictures. Because I care enough to post only the most revolting images and ideas I can assemble. Attention to detail, that's what it's all about here.
Speaking of revolting, I feel the need to share the following link with you all. Eveyone who's seen it thus far agrees that it is, indeed, highly disgusting. Perfect!
Ladies, gentlemen, and the people who are actually here, I present to you:
The diarrhea button
Who, who, who is the genius who saw the need for this and created it? This is perfect for so many occasions!
- Your kid wants to borrow the car? The diarrhea button lets him know in no uncertain terms that he'll be takin' the bus.
- Boss says he's gonna need you to work on those TPS reports? The diarrhea button tells him you're in no mood for overtime today.
- Husband grousing for you to stop shopping online? The diarrhea button can be your little way of saying, "You just bought me a new pair of shoes, fucker!"
ps: diarrhea button
21 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
A homie in your bra? That sounds downright perverted. On the part of the homie, that is.
And the diarrhea button. Um, yeah, absolutely disgusting. And no, I don't want to picture Aunt Bea, no way, no how, aint' gonna.
diarrhea button
Uh, how long was the Homie in your bra? Where you not aware of him/it while you were wearing said garment?
I cannot imagine what kind of psyche a voyeur would have who desires to watch a midget pee!
I think I have inadvertently encountered the cover of Crack Whores of America on the Internet, as well as the real thing on the streets of Louisville.
The diarrhea is, uh… interesting. No, it is simply shit.
You are now officially, way too fucking crazy.
Will you send me a homie for my bra? (maybe 2? They are small . . . the homies, I'm sayin')
All that about that diarrhea button, but no linky? Surely that's just an oversight...
what skeers me is that you didn't realize the homie was there.
Pee Midget Pee sounds too good to be true. Now, if they would just team up with Mini-Michael.
For you, Bucky:
There's a Homie in my bra/
he didn't come for nothin'/
and if he fucks with me/
I'll just press the 'rrea button...
Do the 'rrhea cha-cha-cha
for the Homie in my bra/
Take a trip or step in shit/
We all know that Coke is it!
Cokeacola, chips and 'mola, garganzola...le te da!
I coulda been somebody. I coulda been a contender...
Fin :o)
*applauds loudly for m_d*
Ok..I know you are never gonna believe this but I have never watched a porn movie. I am almost 30 years old and never seen one...but a fucking midgit peeing video..are you fucking kidding me.
that is some hilarious shit.
Fart noises alway equal comdey gold. Love it.
I'm very sad that Don Knotts passed on. The man could do no wrong in my eyes, and never failed to crack me up.
The rest of the Andy Griffith cast? They can all suck my giant slalom.
Comedy gold too.
Dislexia fuckin'! It hate I.
Huh. So does this make your breastesses "homey beacons"?
Yeah, an oversight on MY part. Duh. I got the link, sent it to Hubby, and I could hear him pressing the button over and over and over again from his basement office. Greeeaaaaatttt.
Hey! I have that title in my collection! Oh wait, wrong midget flick.
chchchchia, I'm gonna wear that shirt to work, it would speed up the process of all the Freudian crap . . . ya think?
Midget peeing porn? Are you kidding me? Who wakes up one morning and says, "Hey, I think I'll make a midget pee pee porn." And still, who wakes up one morning and says, "I would like to star in midget pee pee porn. I've always wanted to piss in my sexy black lingerie and have someone film it. And be a midget at the same time."
This post was surreal. In a good way. Sorta.
At least now I have a reason to feel creeped out by midgets. Or little people. Whichever.
Whoa! Somebodys' been busy over the weekend.
I just got Fri, Sat. & Sun. all in one shot. That'll teach me.
Where's the tums?
I wanted to tell you that I saw a lady yesterday on a bike wearing PINK LEATHER ASSLESS CHAPS!
She had a matching jacket to boot.
Ugh...ok.
Totally off subject of Midget Porn but guess what Pissy suprisingly huuuurd up on her Ipod this afternoon on the way home.
Like to have scared the shit outta me. hahah.
I guess when I downloaded your last drunken audio it downloaded into Itunes and you are now on my fucking IPOD..you hab. hahaha.
Ewwwww! Just Ewwwww!
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