the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

This is a genital-free post

So much going on in my life right now. So many things changing. And - insert gigantic scream of frustration here - so much I can't blog about yet for one reason or another. I feel like I'm writing with one hand tied behind my back.

I guess it would be okay to talk about one of the big changes now: I'm leaving my job with the company where I've worked, in one capacity or the other, for over 13 years. The email went out to the people in my department late this morning, and I had a whole lot of folks come through my office this afternoon with surprise on their faces and questions on their lips. My breakup with Jim has been kept to a fairly small group of people at work, so this is the first most have heard of it.

In a way, it feels really great to be publicly acknowledging what's going on, and in another way, it's completely emotionally draining to talk about it again and again and again...
And I don't blame anyone for asking. Most folks probably figured I wasn't ever going anywhere, that eventually I would die in my office and they would find my shriveled mummy next to the UPS unit under my desk.

And it also feels great to have people say "What are we gonna do without you here?" and sound like they mean it. I keep suggesting that they may look at each other in a couple of months and say, "What exactly did that bitch do when she was here, anyway?" but they're not havin' it. So I feel valued, like the valuable two-dollar whore I am. And honey, I am worth every dime. But please don't pay in dimes.

So the two-dollar whore is drained...god, did that sound as bad to everyone else as it did to me? I'm just plum tuckered out, people. I had every intention of layin' the funny stuff on you tonight, but there just wasn't anything left in the humor tube when I squeezed it. Heh heh, I squeezed the humor tube - discuss amongst yourselves. Maybe this post isn't genital free.

But then again, if genitals were free, how would I make my two dollars?

40 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Jim said...

You get some rest - humor tube girl. We'll wait for you. Because you're not leaving US. We're special.

And you do what you need to - we, your adoring fans, will stand behind you.

11:33 PM, February 21, 2006  
Blogger Kristine said...

yes, what jim said 100%. You can't be superwoman ALL the time Bucky...take a break and do something for YOU...like molesting Clark Kent in a phonebooth or something...

We'll still be here when yer done :)

11:42 PM, February 21, 2006  
Anonymous kalki said...

Yeah, what Jim said. I'll stand behind you...and pinch your ass.

11:43 PM, February 21, 2006  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

You are making quite a few life changes, Bucky. That can be stressful; of course, all stress isn’t bad. Still, I’ve got you on my prayer list, whether you want to be or not!

$2.00? Hey! If you’d move back to Louisville I’ll bet you could at least make $4.00.

12:10 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Bring up the Bowie/Stardust in the mix for all these ch-ch-ch-changes and while you proceed with caution, don't second guess yourself when it's all done. Sometimes you just gotta push to grow.

7:11 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Mike said...

Changes are good and will produce many more humorous moments, I am sure.

It's not easy to be funny all the time. Then again, it's not funny to be easy all the time either. Or something like that. And no one is accusing you of being easy because $2.00 is a lot of money these days.

8:26 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Spikey1 said...

Sending cheap Eskimo Kisses your way!

8:50 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

Rest my Bucky.
I agree with Jim and Kristine.
You are fabulous.
What are you going to do now on the job thing? Or is that just being too damn nosey?

9:19 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger MilkMaid said...

Big big changes...like standing on the edge of the deep end of a swimming pool ... that's empty.

Exillerating, but be careful where you step.

:)

Good luck, I admire you....

9:21 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

We'll be right here when you get back. :o)

9:35 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

Well, the humor tube does get all sqeezed out now and then.
Heh.
Give it a bit, and it'll fill back up.
Usually with hatefully bitter rants about people you really dislike.
(that's always what comes back first for me, the mean sarcasm)

10:36 AM, February 22, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am glad you are leaving your job, because really, who wants to find a shriveled mummy under their desk? And all us folks would be thinking, "Now, why won't she write?"
You deserve some time for yourself! Take it. And take it easy. And if it's easy, take it twice.
--Montana Anna

11:00 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Yes, what Jim said. We'll be standing right behind you......mostly because we ADORE the way you look in those assless chaps. ROWR.

Seriously though, dear, I love you, and I'm here if you need me. You're on my mind and in my heart. HUGS to you, Bucky.

11:32 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger AlRo said...

Yer worth at LEAST $2.50 in my books ;)

Sorry i haven't been around much .. it's been a busy time for me too..

Gotta be happy...

With you leaving your job - does that mean you've found something new?

11:57 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger The Kept Woman said...

Indeed...you need some rest, margaritas and some more margaritas.

(I'm partial to the word "ball" but I suppose "tube" could make me snicker too if I thought about it long enough...)

12:17 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Kat said...

::looking worried::

These "changes" don't involve the retirement of butt plugs or assless chaps do they? Because if they do then I need to up my meds to deal with the devastation.

Ditto to all of the above. Especially Kristine and the Clark Kent molestation.

12:21 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Honey, genitals ARE free. Everyone gets 'em when they're born.

It's OTHER PEOPLE'S that sometimes cost money...

Oh no... just read Jim's comment... You're not leaving US, right? RIGHT?!

*panicking, abandonment issues rising again, rocking back and forth*

12:49 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Change is good.

Now you need a hair cut too hehehe.

1:09 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Oh and dont hang out under your desk, it makes people think you are down there playing fort.

You dont have any dart guys or signs about how no boys are allowed do you?

1:22 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Jeffs place said...

Sorry to hear about your troubles Bucky. I havent been here in about a year, but I still remember how hard you made me laugh just about every day! Flint can be a drag on ones soul some days. Just remember people here are pulling for you and things seem to have a way of working out in the end. Your neighbor to the east ;)

1:25 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Jim - You guys ARE special. And I hope you're not disappointed when you stand behind me.

Kristine - oooh, Clark Kent, huh? Can I rip off his glasses and muss his hair? I like it...

Kalki - that was YOU? I suspected Nilbo...he's always the one I blame first.

SS Nick - I appreciate the prayers, and...really? 4 bucks in Louisville? I guess you guys appreciate a hometown girl after all!

Mr. B - only if I get to play "Starman" over and over and over...
And if I push any harder, I fear I will not only grow but also give birth.

Mike - any suggestions on how I should be investing my $2 at a time?

Spikey - my nose and I thank you!

Pissy - thanks, girlie! And I can't really say on the job thing yet, but I will spill all the beans when I'm able. And so many beans to spill...

MilkMaid - oh that is SO spot on. I feel like I've let myself fall backwards off the edge, too.

M_D - oh, don't worry - you ain't a-gettin' rid of me that easily.

Madame D - I will look for the sarcasm. It should be here...any moment now!

Montana Anna - so that's one vote for my NOT dying under my desk? ;)

LadyBug - thanks! And I thought for sure those eyes on my bare ass were Nilbo...
You see how he's always first in line for blame?

Alshrim - $2.50 US or Canadian? ;)
I can't say anything yet about my next move, but I will be forthcoming and less cryptic soon, I promise!

TKW - does that mean I need to drink with a tube from the margarita ball?
Hell, I can do that!

Kat - no no no, not to worry - if anything, the use of chaps and buttplugs will actually increase around here.

1:54 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

CKelli - oh, no, I would NEVER abandon you guys! You put up with waaaaay too much of my crap.

Jess - oooh, can you recommend me a good stylist?
And it's not "fort" I'm playing under my desk.
Heh.
And the dart guys have tranquilizer darts. I'll let your imagination wander here...

Jeff's Place - hey, I wondered where you'd been! I promise to come out of this as raunchy and wrong as ever.

1:58 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Give birth? With all the bloggers watching? Aren't you at least going to charge in pay-per-view style?

2:45 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

Hey, I didn't know you were over here makin' with the mushy!

I'd pay you $3, just for conversation. As long as you were wearing the assless chaps.

3:57 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

speechless here I am with the monkeys and the roosters!
*gasp* give me back that third dollar!

4:06 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

Crank the shit out of Funhouse by Iggy & The Stooges.

It may not cure what ails you, but it will annoy some folks. That, in itself, is extremely therapeutic.

4:21 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

Think of me as that Southwest Airlines tagline: Wanna get away? Yep. I'm your own personal passport to the Pacific Northwest and I promise to hook you up with M/D and Jim for a brew or two while we're at it. It bears thinking about, n'est ce pas?

5:01 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Hell. Bucky, I'll make it five bucks!

6:05 PM, February 22, 2006  
Anonymous torrie said...

You are doing the right thing. We support you.

6:30 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

Just lots of love for you right now.

8:24 PM, February 22, 2006  
Anonymous jd's rose said...

You'd find a way to make your $2. You are resourceful. I have seen what you can do with playdoh!

Keep your chin up Bucky. We still love you... every last dime.

xxx

10:54 PM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger hellokittn said...

*clink,clink*

*clink*

*clink, clink*

Teh Chia: Always the one in front of the machine craving the $2 whore with a fistful of only 19 dimes.

7:44 AM, February 23, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

Free your genitals . . .
The rest will follow!

Just a little song for you this morning :) How you doin', girl?

8:48 AM, February 23, 2006  
Blogger abcd said...

We pay over 1500.00 for folks
to present at grand rounds. You
can talk about the dangers of
waxing with Nair and throw in
some other mumbo-jumbo. They
will fly you in, put you up in
a hotel, pay for your food.

I should be working right now,
but I excused myself for a bit.

Ya know Bucky you make me laugh
on day's when I really need one.

I hope "things" get better for
you. You are going through a really
hard time.

Maybe you should fondle your
play doh (spelling) for that
warm fuzzy feeling.

Nikki

8:55 AM, February 23, 2006  
Blogger Amy said...

I would UPS you some energy if I could, Bucky. HUGEROO.

11:47 AM, February 23, 2006  
Blogger Nina said...

We need to up your prices girl ~ you are worth so much more. But I think I'll stand beside you, instead of behind you, you know just in case. Take care of you.

4:25 PM, February 23, 2006  
Blogger Mike said...

No, seriously Bucky, you are way better than a $2.00 whore. You last longer and you are way way way way way more entertaining. So do what you got to do and get it behind you (hehehe...behind you) and come on back here and entertain us. We promise, we won't let you down.

8:28 PM, February 23, 2006  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Whoah! Good luck with all of your new endeavors! Seems like 2006 is a transitional year in a lot of aspects!

Try to enjoy what you can of all of your changes!

1998 was "MY" year... not an easy task, but hopefully when all is said and done, you'll be able to look back, laugh a bit, and see how far you've come!

Best wishes!

8:47 PM, February 23, 2006  
Blogger Hippo said...

Awesome, Liberating...you must feel great. Shedding the old and moving on.

Good Will and Salvation Army is waiting for what won't fit in the supermarket cart. I think 160 cans will get ya a one-way from the Mid-West to Key West on Greyhound-Keep the sunglasses.

In all honesty, this is great...

Dr H.O. Potamus

4:24 PM, February 24, 2006  
Blogger mrtl said...

Did anyone ask if you were taking your toys with you?

8:54 PM, February 27, 2006  

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