the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Pucker up

I have decided, in my ponderous way, that all horror movie titles should have the word "asshole" in them. Because what is scarier than an asshole?

To that end, I give you:

  • The Hills Have Assholes
  • The Texas Asshole Massacre
  • Last Asshole on the Left
  • Asshole the 13th
  • I Spit on Your Asshole
  • Asshole on Elm Street
  • The House on Asshole Hill
  • Asshole of the Dead
  • Little Shop of Assholes
  • House of 1,000 Assholes
  • Assholes of Death
  • 13 Assholes
  • Assholeraiser
  • Sleepy Asshole
  • Assholetergeist
  • Asshole Dead
  • Asshole of Darkness
  • Bram Stoker's Asshole
But then I figured, why should horror flicks have all the fun? What about other movies?
  • Citizen Asshole
  • Twelve Angry Assholes
  • Gone With the Asshole
  • Star Assholes
  • The Poseiden Asshole
  • The Towering Asshole
  • All the President's Assholes
  • Dog Asshole Afternoon
  • The Thin Asshole
  • The Asshole Josey Wales
  • Pale Asshole
  • The Good, the Bad, and the Asshole
  • Asshole Full of Dollars
  • Assholeblanca
  • Monty Python's Asshole of Brian
Okay, now - I know you thought of some while you read this. Let's have 'em! Show me your assholes!

50 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

I asshole you.

12:04 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Closet Metro said...

Asshole Bites
Asshole Club (or Fight Asshole)
Asshole Wars
Asshole Wars VI, the return of the Asshole
You've Got Asshole
Asshole in Seattle
Jerry McAsshole
Memoirs of an Asshole
Brokeback Asshole

12:28 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Closet Metro said...

Harry Asshole and the Goblet of Fire
A History of Asshole
Asshole Kong
Tora Asshole Tora
The Asshole Whisperer
The Constant Asshole
March of the Assholes
Asshole Crashers

12:42 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Zombie_Flyboy said...

Horror: 28 Assholes Later

Western: Once Upon A Time In The Asshole

Chick Flick: Pretty Asshole

Comedy: The Man With Two Assholes

Pron: Deep Asshole

Sports: Bull Asshole

Stoner: Asshole and Silent Asshole Strike Back

Sci/fi: Invasion Of The Asshole Snatchers

4:39 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

Damnit, there are so many good one-title names that would just be replaced by asshole.
And thank you, I SO needed this.

Empire Asshole.
The Lord of the Assholes.
Spider-Asshole, or Asshole-Man
The Incredible Asshole
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Asshole.
Finding Asshole.
The Man with the Screaming Asshole.
Bubba Asshole.
Asshole Jam.
Spaceassholes.
10 Assholes I Hate About You.
How to lose a guy in 10 assholes.
G.I. Asshole.


The Stanley Asshole Collection:

2001: A Space Asshole.
Barry Asshole
Asshole Wide Shut
A.I.-Asshole Intelligence
Full Metal Asshole
Dr. Asshole: Or, How I learned to stop assholing and love the asshole.
Asshole Shining
Paths of Asshole
Asshole Killers
Asshole's Kiss
Asshole Seafarers
Asshole and Desire
Day of the Asshole
Asshole Padre

I think I need to stop now. At least for this comment...

5:52 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Debbie Does Assholes
Deep Asshole


Or for the kids:
Honey, I Blew Up the Assholes!

6:45 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Jim said...

I like Closet Metro's but I would pick Harry Potter and the Asshole of Fire.

The Pink Asshole
Asshole With the Wind
Escape to Asshole Mountain
Whatever Happened to Baby Asshole?
The Asshole of Monte Cristo
Cheaper by the Asshole
Peggy Sue Got Asshole
Miss Asshole
The Asshole Nine Yards
The Asshole Gardener

7:36 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

I'm gonna go one up on Closet and Jim with
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Assholes
Asshole Fink
The Asshole Wore Tennis Shoes
The LoveAsshole
The Blue Asshole
Confessions of a Dangerous Asshole
The Green Asshole
Galaxy Asshole

8:20 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Jess - you know you're the asshole of my eye. I was gonna say "the apple of my asshole" but that just sounds painful.

Closet - The Asshole Whisperer...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Zombie - I'm torn, so to speak, between the Man With Two Assholes and Invasion of the Asshole Snatchers. Both give me the instagiggle.

Madame D - How to Lose a Guy in 10 Assholes? That must be about my first boyfriend! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Asshole Wide Shut...and I heard it slam.

Mr. B - You blew up the Assholes? Are you sure you aren't my first boyfriend?

Jim - OK, I'm now in love with Whatever Happened to Baby Asshole?
You guys never let me down!

Squirl - Confessions of a Dangerous Asshole? They made a movie about me?

8:25 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger hemlock said...

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Assholes
Good Night and Good Asshole (because it's awards season)
EverAsshole
The Asshole Bride
Snow White and the Seven Assholes

I could go on all day. This is great, and the single most defining moment of my day.

Thanks Bucky!

9:18 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger hemlock said...

By the way, I will forever return to this post when I'm having a bad day.

I thought I could get through the second reading without giggling, but it's impossible. My office mate is going to kill me.

10:06 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Jim said...

Oh..and
Hedwig and the Angry Asshole
Velvet Asshole

10:29 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Family friendly movies

The Sound of Assholes
Asshole Poppins
Cinderasshole
Asshole Who's Talking
Snow Asshole
Sleeping Asshole
The Princess Asshole (or The Asshole Bride)
Asshole the Explorer
The Asshole Bears
The Sword and the Asshole (or The Asshole and the Stone)
Assholes Take Manhattan (one of my favorite Muppet Movies)
Asshole in Grouchland, or Elmo in Asshole (my other favorite Sesame Street spawned movie)

10:37 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

In a variation, there's Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Anus.

10:50 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

tee hee Phantom Anus

11:01 AM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Bucky, you are obsessed! I think you need of good buggering!

So, while I am thinking about the British upper classes and their Public School passion for buggery, and since PBS is now broadcasting “The Best of Monty Python,” there is, of course, “Monty Python’s Flying Ass Hole”—which I am sure I have seen in a Monty Python cartoon once or twice.

1:03 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Asshole
Romancing the Asshole
The War of the Assholes
Asshole Attacks
Bridget Jones' Asshole
Asshole Actually

1:25 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

Sweet Home Asshole
The Importance of Being Asshole

1:40 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Estefania said...

Asshole Wonka and the Chocolate Factory....HA! HA! HA!

2:16 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

The Lion, The Witch and The Assshole.

2:37 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Estefania said...

Meet the Assholes
Asshole DayThe 40 Year Old Asshole
March of the Assholes
Broken Assholes
I Heart Assholes
The Merchant of Assholes
The Manchurian Asshole
Phantom of the Asshole
Far from Asshole
Pavillion of Assholes.....and the list goes on!

2:41 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger OneCrueGirl said...

One for the holidays:
A Christmas Asshole
or
Frosty the Asshole

4:14 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

I didn't have time to read them all, forgive me if I duplicate someone's asshole, I'll use my favorites:

Driving Miss Asshole
Remains of the Asshole
O Asshole, Where Art Thou?
Raising Asshole
The Spitfire Asshole
Fried Green Assholes

Jif's favorite:
Little Big Asshole

Yours from the post was actually the first 3 clients listed in my appt. book today:
The Good, the Bad, and the Asshole

4:23 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

In honor of my all time favorite movie.
Dirty Assholes (dancing)

Asshole Club (fight club)

50 1st Assholes (50 1st dates)

hmmm...i shall think of more...

4:29 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger abcd said...

Bucky,
I hope Musicals are off limits along
with the "BH" gang. I beg you not
to start listing musicals. I would cry.

Nikki

Now if I could list a few of the people I work with, that would make
me pretty happy.


You can't talk about this if you come for Grand Rounds-OK.

6:29 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

Trading Assholes (Places)
My Left Asshole (Foot)
The Asshole Pit (Money)
Out of Assholes (Africa)
The Color Asshole (Purple)
St. Asshole's Fire (Elmo)


But Clo-Met's "The Asshole Whisperer" made me laugh way harder than any of these.

7:28 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

Kiss Meets The Asshole Of The Park

7:47 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

You guys are sick fuckers.

You do not disappoint.

Perhaps I am in need of a good buggering, and all the "asshole" this and "anus" that are just anal cries for help.
First one to try it gets a stapler upside the head.

And I would never think of including musicals in this sordid business. I would never write something like...
Asshole of La Mancha.
or...
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Asshole.

Because that would be wrong.

But I would definitely drag Neil Sedaka into this.

Calendar Asshole
Breakin' Asshole is Hard to Do
Laughter in the Asshole
Asshole Will Keep Us Together

7:47 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger hellokittn said...

When Harry met Asshole - Just think of what Meg Ryan's moaning scene could be replaced with...


Sleepless in Asshole - Because who really can sleep with all that noise going on? Well, if you're talking about my asshole.

The Asshole Diaries - I'm not sure, but I do believe a very straight man would be penning the tale.

FireAsshole (variation of Harrison Ford's new flick) - Would have to be filmed in Mexico.

Asshole Space - Makes ya wonder what they will kick the crap out of (pun intended) instead of that fax machine.

Asshole - Picture Bambi replaced by one hell of an anus. Now, if one anus loses it's mother anus to an anus hunter... wouldn't that just be a tear jerker?

7:58 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

Bucky, now you went and brought up Neil.

7:58 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

16 assholes
(16 blocks)
Just assholes
(just friends)
The last time I saw asshole
(the last time I saw Paris)
Who's that asshole
(who's that girl)
The asshole in the cellar
(the beast in the cellar)
The thing about my asshole
(the thing about my folks)
See this asshole
(see this movie)
Erik the asshole
(Erik the viking)
That's all for now. ;o)

8:14 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Closet Metro said...

The Shaggy Asshole
The Assholes Have Eyes
Pulp Asshole
Rear Asshole
The Usual Assholes
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Asshole
Asshole Driver
Assholetown
Hotel Asshole
Million Dollar Asshole
The Wizard of Asshole
Kill Asshole: Vol 2
The Sixth Asshole
Cool Asshole Luke
The Green Asshole
Back to the Asshole
The Asshole Queen
The Asshole Story
Die Asshole
Stand by Asshole
Mystic Asshole
The Asshole of Wrath
The Big Asshole
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Assholes
An Asshole Named Desire
Frankenasshole
Asshole of the Apes

8:17 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Mike said...

I am sure someone has said some of these before, but:
Behind The Green Asshole
Asshole Does Dallas
Deep Asshole
-or-
Asshole Throat
The Valley of The Assholes
The Wizzard of Assholes
Gone With The Assholes
The Spiral Asshole
War Of The Assholes
16 Assholes
To Have Asshole Or Have Not
8 Assholes Below
Asshole Mountain

9:21 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

Charlie and the Chocolate Asshole

Musical: The Asshole and I

Closet Metro is truly GIFTED at this event.

Jim, I LOVE Whatever Happened to Baby Asshole - one of the best movies EVER.

9:23 PM, March 09, 2006  
Anonymous Amanda B. said...

This is freakin genius. I love the hell out of you people.

10:47 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Closet Metro said...

Spike Lee time:

Do the Right Asshole
Mo' Better Asshole
Girl Asshole
Asshole Daze
She's Gotta Have Asshole
Asshole Fever
He Got Asshole

10:52 PM, March 09, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

If you're gonna go all Asshole Will Keep Us Together, I have to go all:

Muskrat Asshole

11:17 PM, March 09, 2006  
Anonymous Amber said...

What about TV Shows?

Does those go too?

American Asshole
The Asshole Life
The Simple Asshole
Tara Reid's Assholedise
Aqua Teen Asshole Force
Samurai Asshole
CSI: Asshole
Law And Asshole: Special Shitting Unit
Assgate: SG-1
Gilmore Assholes
Full Asshole
Asshole Matters
Desperate Assholes
America's Asshole Videos

I had some movies lined up, but Squirl and Closet Metro took them from me.

I personally like Harry Potter and the Asshole of Fire.

That sounds like it hurts.

Then I thought, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Assholes, but Squirl took that one too.

How about Harry Potter and the Chamber of Assholes. Or Prisoner of Assholeban. Or the Philosopher's Asshole.

So then I had:
Love, Assholes
Robin Hood: Prince of Assholes
Asshole Quest
Indiana Jones and the Asshole of Doom
Asshold Hard
Ah! My Asshole!
Almost Asshole
Space Assholes
The Wedding Asshole
Asshole Beauty
O' Asshole, Where Art Thou?
The Asshole Bride
Asshole's Inc

12:32 AM, March 10, 2006  
Blogger Double Bagger said...

What about video and computer games?

Resident Asshole: Code Asshole
The Assholes bustin' out Assholes University
Age of Assholes
Lords of the Asshole
Mech-asshole
Theme park: Asshole
Asshole city or Sim asshole

1:52 AM, March 10, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

"Indiana Jones and the Asshole of Doom."

Dude, I'd pay good money to go see that!

and "America's Asshole Videos"-that was totally the first title they wanted to go with, and ABC said no.

1:57 AM, March 10, 2006  
Blogger BobbleheadHillbilly said...

Zombie- "Ivansion of the Asshole Snatchers", that fuckin' rocks!

The Asshole of Frankenstein
Two Days in the Asshole
Things to do in an Asshole When You're Dead
Asshole Busters
Free Asshole
The Dukes of Asshole
Night of the Living Asshole
The Good, the Bad, the Asshole
Creature From the Asshole Lagoon.
Pee Wee's Big Asshole
House of a 1000 Assholes
Mister Roger's Asshole
I, Asshole
The Quest for the Holy Asshole
Asshole 9 from Outerspace
Edward Asshole Hands

It looks like some of us here have promising futures making titles for b-rate pornos.

6:01 AM, March 10, 2006  
Blogger Girl.A said...

Girl.A sees she's coming late to this party... Let her just look at her movie collection for a minute. There's gotta be something in here that will ...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Asshole

What Napoleon Did With His Dynamite

Bravefart

Orifice Space

Eight Men In

The Creature From The Brown Lagoon

Dodgeballs

The Usual Sphincters

Rode to Perdition

Kung Fu Anus

The Anus of the Christ

Far-go

Stroker Ace

Rear Window

Drunken Master

Finding Neverland

6:43 AM, March 10, 2006  
Blogger Girl.A said...

Oops, I see some of mine were already, umm, used...

Young Sphincterstein

Hanna and her Sphincters

The Man With One Red Anus

Defending Your Anus

Do The Right Thingy

Mystery Train

Jackie Brown

Howard's End

7:10 AM, March 10, 2006  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

Can I just say that this is cracking me up!

9:39 AM, March 10, 2006  
Blogger Girl.A said...

Sorry, Bucky - I took some liberties with the boundaries of your "asshole".

10:37 AM, March 10, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a clockwork asshole
american asshole
apocalypse asshole
asshole holocaust
asshole of emily rose
forrest asshole
one flew over the asshole's nest
requiem for an asshole
reservoir assholes
rosemary's asshole
tears of the asshole
the asshole of cthulhu
the elephant asshole
the manchurian asshole
the asshole redemption
the wicker asshole
three assholes

9:28 PM, April 15, 2006  
Anonymous El Greco said...

The Assholes of Madison County
Spongebob Asshole Pants: The Movie
Asshole Gump
The Man with One Red Asshole (shoe)
My Big Fat Greek Asshole
Asshole Talkers
Full Metal Asshole
Captain Corelli's Asshole
Pirates of the Asshole (caribbean)

1:17 PM, May 15, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Schindler's Asshole

1:19 PM, May 15, 2006  
Anonymous El Greco said...

Ferris Beuller's Asshole
Driving Miss Asshole
Hannah and Her Assholes (sisters)
Assholes According to Garp
Assholes in the Mist
Four Weddings and an Asshole
Asshole from Snowy River
French Lieutenant's Asshole
Scent of an Asshole (Woman)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Asshole

1:30 PM, May 15, 2006  
Anonymous Lisa G said...

Divine Assholes of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

1:32 PM, May 15, 2006  

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