the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Hey, you! Yeah, you.

Things that need sayin' to people who need to hear it:

  • To Nilbo: Hearty congratulations on the birth of your daughter's baby, which makes you a...ummmm...a grandmother shagger.

  • To the powers that be at General Hospital: I have demands. Put the actress who plays mob lawyer Diane on contract. Let Spinelli and Georgie hook up already. Put Sam and Jason back together. Give Ric his personality again, fer chrissake. Thank you.

  • To all the people who tried to prevent my getting laid yesterday (and there are a lot of you on that list): HA HA. I outwaited you all. Every last one of you. Nyah. It's like my own version of Survivor: Outwit, Outwait, Out-Lay.

  • To the asshole who slashed all the tires on my neighbor's truck: Please don't come back for a repeat performance. And please don't even notice that I have a car in my driveway. Oh, and I hope you choke on your own pubes.

  • To the person drawing the MegaMillions numbers on Friday: Keep me in mind, 'kay?

  • To the giant deer carcass in the middle of M-45: Ewwwwwwwww! I know you're deceased and all, but did you have to be so gross, and appear so very suddenly in my path? I hate it when dead things sneak up on me.

  • To the two guys smirking at me in the party store: There could be any number of reasons why I looked like that. Any number of perfectly innocent reasons. Maybe, just maybe, I buttoned wrong on purpose.

12 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Squirl said...

Yay for Nilbo. I with you on the GH stuff. Ha ha to those idiots yesterday. I hope everyone's tires stay safe. Good luck on the lottery. Did you ask those guys what they were looking at? You know, with attitude?

But that deer carcass??? I wasn't too happy about that one either. There wasn't enough time for me to swerve. I was just hoping it wasn't high enough to leave its guts and gore on the underside of my car.

8:02 PM, October 18, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

*dead deer make Bloggy think about the "laughing at the puss of one of God's creatures" story*

9:22 PM, October 18, 2007  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Squirl - I just had the feeling when I heard you say "EW!" on the phone that you'd just driven past/over that. I had to swerve around it, because it was still fairly tall when I went past.

Mr. B - I never, ever laugh at pussy. Oh, what? Um, never mind. Carry on.

9:25 PM, October 18, 2007  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Yeah, I have shagged a granny. It was everything I always expected it to be.

11:07 PM, October 18, 2007  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Congratulations to Nibo on the new addition and being a granddaddy.

Congratulations to Bucky for being able to get laid.

Who gives a flying rat’s ass about soap operas anyway?

Tire slashers are generally ex- whatever. I think you’re tires are safe, Bucky.

And on question: Just what did you mis-button, me dear?

11:11 PM, October 18, 2007  
Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

FYI: According to Norwegian newspapers, Amy Whinehouse was arrested last night (European time) in the Norwegian city of Bergen for drug possession. She's supposed to play in Oslo today. No rehab I guess...

3:42 AM, October 19, 2007  
Anonymous It's Me... Maven said...

I dunno about anyone else, but I can't wait until mercury is no longer in retrograde...

11:42 AM, October 19, 2007  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Nilbo - your wife is now a GILF.

SSNick - I will leave the misbuttoning to your imagination.

Ghost - that girl needs to either clean up or learn how to hide her stash better. How's she supposed to make up her US tour at this rate?

Maven - now you sound like my sister. ;)

12:23 PM, October 19, 2007  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

You got laid?

2:29 PM, October 19, 2007  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Look out Nilbo - Bucky's got designs on your wife. ;)

9:24 PM, October 19, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh sure... blame ME for everything. Look, you people on your big ass roads with your big ass cars in a big ass hurry... sometimes you just need to be taught a lesson, okay? OKAY?? Sometimes a dead-ass deer is gonna sneak up on you.

~Dead-Ass Deer

12:21 PM, October 20, 2007  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

RSG - hard as it is to believe, YES, I got laid! Can you hear the angels sing?

CKelli - it's not my fault she's a GILF. I only observe and comment. ;)

Dead-ass deer - next time, I'm running over your damned dead legs.

1:00 PM, October 23, 2007  

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