If I could save time in a bottle, it would be a Corona bottle with a wedge of rotted lime in it
At this particular moment:
- I am eating a Jethro-sized bowl of cereal for dinner because I am too lazy to cook and, for once in my life, I do not want pizza. Why can't Long John Silver's deliver?
- I am looking around my spot on the couch, where stray papers and empty plates and empty beer bottles and magazines and half a dozen different remote controls tell the story of my time spent at home lately, and I'm grateful I'm not having any company over tonight.
- I am doing an emergency load of laundry because I realized that the only clean panties I have are ones that should be burned.
- I am wishing I could keep this kick-ass rental car that I've decided to drive until Monday morning.
- I am hoping that the spirits of brilliant plastic surgeons will give me a boob lift and tummy tuck in my sleep.
- I am acting so ADD I have to laugh at myself. STOP LOOKING AT YOUTUBE, KATY!
- I am writing a pretty much pointless post when I have about 20 other things I need to pull together in the next couple of hours.
- I am stopping now, hitting "publish" and stepping away from the computer.