Lazy Bucky's quickies

I just can't be bothered to put two thoughts together today, and thought I would share my ADD spell with you. You may thank me with cash and other valuables.

• Right now, I should be checking into my Chicago hotel room and prepping to rush the stage at the Amy Winehouse concert. Only problem is, the tour's canceled, and I'd be mighty lonely at the Aragon (though my chances for a stage-side vantage point would seem to be improved). So, no Amy. But then again, I should also be checking into my Detroit hotel room, as I bought a ticket to see Joss Stone tonight when I found out that Amy had postponed her show. Of course, then the brakes went out on my car. Yes, that wretched car that knows it's just been paid off. So here I am at home, missing my two British divas. Here's a little Joss to make us all feel better:
  
  
  
  
• Friday bit my chin so hard that it drew blood. I believe he felt I had not been sufficiently punished for daring to leave the cats alone last Thursday. It felt like a message, like "Next time, you lose a tit, biatch."
  
  
• Things I've said recently that, even in context, are a little odd:
  
  "Do you want some ice for your Pucker?"
  
  "Quit biting my face!"
  
  "I'm not mad! In fact, I'd respect you a whole lot less if I found out you made your sick kid go to school because mommy is getting some nookie today."
  
  "Should I stick a lime in yours?"
  
  "Who cares? They're not my sheets."
  
  "Somebody needs to tell that fucker to put the dick back in his mouth and stop whining."
  
  
• After drawing and painting nothing but male characters for most of my life, it seems that the only paintings I've been able to finish lately are ones with a female subject. My companion piece to Whore Clown in Decline sits unfinished, as I got to a certain point on him and just could never decide what to do next. I'm hoping to get over that with my newest painting, which will feature at least two male subjects, one of whom is a character from a soap opera. Doesn't that sound like a crystal-clear cry for help?
  
  
• Speaking of paintings, I never showed you my last completed one here. First, you should understand that in this house, the closest thing I have to a religious display is my autographed picture of Dita Von Teese in her giant martini glass. In fact, if you do not think Dita is hot enough to turn a priest's eye from the altar boys, then you should go sit in the corner until this post is finished, and reflect upon your astonishing lapse in taste.
  
  Anyway, I did my last painting from a vacation photo that Dita posted on her site, and because of the personal nature of the original picture, I hesitated to display the painting outside her site. So, I am posting it with a complete willingness to remove it if she should in any way object to its presence here.
  
  
  Dita's Mackinac Island Fudge-gasm, 8" x 10" acrylic, 2007
  
  
• I am in TV heaven right now with Dexter and Weeds running concurrently, the finale of Top Chef 3 this week, and Project Runway 4 just around the corner. And Squirl is looking at this right now and thinking, "Yeah, and you also have my Desperate Housewives season 2 DVDs, and about five of my movies..."