the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Oh crap, I didn't buy candy and my house is probably going to be egged as a result

UPDATE: Thirteen wins for best costume.

Wet pussy

I was having a traditional pumpkin-scented Hallowe'en bath when little mister zen got too relaxed on the edge of the tub, and before I could prevent gravity's inevitable practical joke, he was drenched and in a panic to get out of the fucking water fer chrissake! Oh, how he scrambled to get out...the bathroom is a little more wrecked than I usually leave it.

Poor, miserable, soaked-down baby. Of course, as a concerned mommy, I sprang from the tub (okay, just put that picture out of your mind; it ain't pretty) and grabbed a towel and a camera, all in one tawdry nekkid motion. Here's what he thought of my brand of sympathy:

More wet pussy

Go ahead, laugh at his indignant lips and un-puffy tail. I'm sure he'll find it hilarious once he's dry.


Now, back to your regularly schedule programming:



The inky clouds conspire to make a

Toupeed jack o’ lantern of the round orange moon
No dignity, no dignity at all for the face of Hallowe’en
Might as well slap on some wax lips while you're up there.


Did you hear the stomping and the clanking and
The hooves clattering?
That was me, dancing with the devil
Casting shadows so deep you’ll never get your hand back
I walked away, just walked away
No look back for another quick two-step
No longing glances or winks or numbers exchanged
I said, “Thanks for the dance, you sonofabitch,”
And I left him there with his smoking dick in his hand.

There she goes again
Across the face of the toupee moon
Tangled hair as long as the broomstick that
Lifts and soars but never quite sweeps.
But no broomstick for me, thanks;
When I need to fly I've got the
Seat of my pants and the
Skin of my teeth.
So take a deep breath but
Don't miss a beat
Because nothing can come of an
Unplanted seed

Up-high cutie pie
Just remember: a tuxedo cat is watching you!

12 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

First!

My advice on how to spend Halloween here

6:57 PM, October 31, 2007  
Anonymous Alex the Cat said...

Such a handsome kitty cat.

6:58 PM, October 31, 2007  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Bucky, may you safely navigate through the ghosties, goblins, sprites, trolls, imps, hobgoblins, ghouls, banshees, poltergeists, specters, spirits, witches, and warlocks wandering the earth this night.

6:59 PM, October 31, 2007  
Blogger Squirl said...

Great post! I think I know that picture, right?

7:21 PM, October 31, 2007  
Blogger Squirl said...

Poor Thirteen. Not that he doesn't deserve it, though...

9:52 PM, October 31, 2007  
Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

The Tuxedo Cat is watching.
Quoth the Raven.

10:16 PM, October 31, 2007  
Blogger Jim said...

NICE kitty...(backs away, slowly)...

I liked the poem. 'Scuze me for being dense, but did you write that?

11:00 PM, October 31, 2007  
Blogger eclectic said...

Poor Thirteen! Actually, I think it's good for them to be clumsy and humiliated every now and then... assuming they don't kill us for laughing at them afterward.

12:39 AM, November 01, 2007  
Blogger Lynn said...

I love your cats. They're so cool.

2:38 AM, November 01, 2007  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

Poor pumpkin-scented kitty! Hope he doesn't crap in your shoes because of this.
Ew...

7:45 PM, November 01, 2007  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

*snaps of approval*

9:03 AM, November 02, 2007  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Ghost - duly noted. ;)

Alex - take one to know one!

SSNick - thank you, I came out the other side unhaunted.

Squirl - Yeah, I think you were here when I snapped the Friday shots. And yeah, I even felt bad for Puffington when he went into the water. He was very UN-zen at that moment.

HTGT - The tuxies are always watching. I'd be afraid, but they're usually more into grooming than world domination.

Jim - thankee! Yes, I did indeed write that poem, just before they took my pen away and gave me back the crayons.

Eclectic - I've always maintained that anything that doesn't hurt cats should be done to them.

Lynn - thanks! Although Thirteen wasn't so cool when he was scrambling to get out of the tub and throwing water everywhere in the room. I'd been writing in the tub and he soaked my notebook!

M_D - none of them has figured out the shoe crapping thing yet. I'm not letting them read this. They do not need any more ideas for revenge.

CKelli - thank you, ma'am! Approval for the poem or the soaked-down kitty?

4:32 PM, November 02, 2007  

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