Lazy Bucky's quickies
- Dinnertime outburst, uprovoked and apropos of nothing, by my brother Tardist: "Chinese diarrhea sculpture!"
- Clearly tired of watching me shop for makeup in Meijer, Tardist offered, helpfully and as loudly as he could: "Don't forget the rectal rouge!"
- Jim's new band name and/or million-dollar product idea: Flaming Rectal Butter
- The last thing Jim said to me as I left for the laundromat this afternoon: "Close the door -- I'm NAAAAKED!"
Katy Barzedor proclaimed this to be so at 10:30 PM
8 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
Okay.
So now I have an image of a naked Jim needing rectal rouge following his recent bout of Flaming Chinese Butter Diarrhea.
Oh, and in my mental image, Jim looks like your profile pic.
*snort*
LadyBug, you need help.
That's why you're my pal!
I have made many Chinese Diarrhea Sculptures in my life.
One that I keep making over and over, and can't seem to move on to something else, so many sleepless nights spent working on it, perfecting my form, over and over, is the Sesame Chicken Porridge-Textured Ritual Mound.
"Flaming Rectal Butter"...sung to the tune of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire".
P.S. Next time Tardist yells something like that, just respond in kind and just as loud:
"You know the Dr. said you couldn't have anal sex again until your ass stitches heal up!! No anal rouge for a while, so you can just drop it! Or do I HAVE TO TAKE YOU OUT TO THE PARKING LOT FOR A TALKING-TO RIGHT THIS MINUTE?
Bucky, I was reading your archives and if you don't mind, I'd like to comment on a post you made in January...the WWYD blog. About the guy who exposed himself.
You know, that has happened to me two times in my life. The first time was when I was 13. It totally freaked me out. I think that's the reaction the guy was looking for.
The second time it happened, when I was 21, I was in the gardens at the palace of Versaille(as I type this, I realize how ridiculous that sounds. I swear, I'm not making this up)and this tiny little Frenchman, who was WEARING A BERET, jumped out from behind some bushes as my friend and I were walking by. His zipper was down, and he was "working it over" if you know what I mean. My friend and I just stood there and laughed. I think we totally humiliated the guy. He ran away. I hope we made him cry.
So, I think laughter is the best response.
Btw, it's true what they say about Frenchmen.
Girl.A -- you simply must capture photographic evidence of your sculpture masterpiece. I might be interested in purchasing an original. Get with me.
I will be sure to try that next time Tardist tries (tries) to embarrass me in public. Or I might just put the mascara in his cart.
Dazed: He went down, down, down, in a flaming rectal butter. . .
Yeah, totally works for me.
Now I know why I dress in black all the time.
Squish -- I'll have to remember that if I get flashed again. Unfortunately, I'm past the age where a man thinks he can shock me. I'll have to wait 'til the hair gets grayer, then the shock value goes up again.
A Beret? I guess he really was OF FRANCE!!!!
My favorite phrase in the whole wide world. =)
Post a Comment
<< Home