the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Hey, I can be proud too

I am finding Grand Rapids to be a fascinating town. Squirl, Ichabod and I just got back from a long walk and the viewing of many way cool old buildings and a couple of Frank Lloyd Wright homes. Now we're watching a fine, fine piece of cinema called Sweet Sweetback's Baad Asssss Song.

But by far the most interesting event today, and indeed, the main purpose for my visit, was down in Calder Plaza this afternoon. The three of us went down to Pride Fest to meet up with my long-lost prom date, "Rico," and see his sister's band play. And if there's any one of you who's beginning to say, "Ew, why would you and your sister wanna go and hang out with a bunch of gay people?" then you should stop reading my site immediately and go find a good friend to pull that big, splintery stick out of your tight ass. Now, moving along...

The first thing we saw as we approached the Plaza was a car that made my thighs quiver.

Austin Healy 1

Austin Healy 2
I love this car. I want this car. I'm sure I cannot afford this car.

Then we went inside, and to my delight, there were lots of folks there who'd brought their dogs (all snappily adorned in rainbow scarves).

Kissy dogs
I'm pretty sure these two were exchanging phone numbers.

I also could not resist a German shorthair pointer named Jack who was representin' for the local animal rescue (yes, yes, I donated).

Jack 2
If Snickers wouldn't throw a holy shit fit, Jack would've come home with me.

It was pretty colorful down there (at the festival, you sickos).


And I think this dude was definitely the belle of the ball:

Things go better with wings.

And he's so mah-velous, don't you think we deserve another peek at him? I do.

What magic lives in that purse?

The saddest thing I saw while there, though, was this:

Abandoned duck with bobby pin
Why was he abandoned? And what's with the bobby pin?

The band, Cherri and the Violators, were puttin' down some sweet, sweet, rockin' blues when we came in. Cherri is Rico's sister, and one helluva fine blues belter.

Cherri and the Violators 1
Buy their CDs.

Cherri and the Violators 2

Cherri and the Violators 3

But I'm sure you're all wondering, "Yeah, but what about Rico? Cough up the Rico story!"

Well, okay. Here's Rico as of today:

Smirking ex
Is that one self-satisfied look or what?

He's doin' great, and we sat and talked for a while today. His man wasn't in attendance, so I didn't have the chance to meet him, but we had a really fun reunion (I haven't seen him since we broke up in March 1985). He even agreed to be seen with me in a picture:

Long-lost prom dates
They made me sit down in our prom picture. This is why.

So, we had a really good time today. It was nice to catch up with Rico and Cherri again, and the people couldn't have been nicer.

Oh, dear. You don't think I'm playing into the hands of the Homosexual Agenda, do you?

31 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Squirl said...

The only people who seem to think the homosexuals have a scary agenda are people who don't realize they even know homosexuals.

10:54 PM, June 18, 2005  
Blogger greatwhitebear said...

Once again, you have brightened my evening. Great pics, great stories, told as only you could tell them. Thanks!

10:58 PM, June 18, 2005  
Blogger Kranki said...

Looks like such a fun day. Pride weekends are the best time. The dancers, the colours, the wings. My fave parts are the dressed up pets. Those phobes just don't know what they are missing.

11:25 PM, June 18, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Squirl - fuckin' A, sis. My life would be a lot duller without my Mo friends.

Bear - thank you, sir! I had such a good time, I just wanted to spread the love, man.

Kranki - I just loved how every last dog in the plaza had on a rainbow scarf. I got some other dog pictures, but not too many turned out clearly. And you're so right...who throws a better party than gay men, I ask you that?

7:19 AM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

"...then you should stop reading my site and go find a good friend to pull that big, splintery stick..." I couldn't read the rest for maybe a full minute, I was laughing so hard! Sounds like a hoot, but not a hootenanny -- I just like to be precise.

10:53 AM, June 19, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bucky, I'm so glad you had a good time with my peeps! Eclectic nailed it - I was laughing so hard when you said to "pull that big, splintery stick out of your tight ass" that I couldn't even finish overthrowing the government or recruiting children or finish my onslaught to take over the military!

I (think) I speak not only for myself, but also for other guys who 'take it in the face' when I announce that you are now an honorary homosexual man. Good on ya!

11:50 AM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Mahala said...

I hope no one takes this the wrong way but.. living here in bible belt central for the past 13 years, I've missed the gay community I grew up around. I dated a guy for a year after high school who finally admitted to himself that he prefered men and found himself to finally be content. Of course, I was blamed by our less enlightened friends of somehow "putting him off women." I was his first and most probably last woman lol.

12:07 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Opera Gal said...

in Chicago, I lived in a neighborhood called "Boys Town". Talk about feeling safe - we women always wanted to live there cause it was safe, fun and ALIVE.
My best memory of Chicago's Pride parade was seeing a marching unit of 20-30 men dressed only in Rainbow thongs.
No, I have no pictures, sorry!

12:15 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger SierraBella said...

What a colorful story!
Love the winged guy, he should be miniaturized (spelling?) and used as a hood ornament on the thigh-quivering car.

12:54 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Eclectic - it's always good to differentiate between a hoot and a hootenanny. And hooters. Important distinction there, fer sure.

Dazed - ohmygod! I was made an Honorary Sistah years ago, and now this? An Honorary Mo? I'm so pleased, I'm all verklempt. Oh, there I go, I promised myself I wouldn't cry...

Romani - Ha! I know the feeling. I've been accused of scaring Rico away from women, too! He'll still talk to me, though, so I'm thinkin' he's not too scared.

Operal gal - you know, I stayed in Toronto for training a few years ago, and unbeknownst to me, my training center and my hotel were smack in the middle of Toronto's gay town (is that what you call it? Like Chinatown?). It was such a nice neighborhood, and like you said, I felt ultra safe.
I'm so sorry there are no pictures of the throngs in thongs, though...*sigh*

Kitty - I'm so sorry we didn't get to hang out yesterday. :(
It was groovy to finally meet you, though. Next time I come over, hopefully you won't be on call, and you can hide your pager and come party!

Sierrabella - hey, that's a cool idea! Give me a little boredom and Photoshop later, and this too can be yours...

2:02 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Torrie said...

Didn't I see him singing YMCA?

I am the proud mother of a gay dog.
...not that there's anything wrong with that.

3:37 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Torrie - I've had a few gay dogs. Snickers isn't gay, but he supports Dexter's right to wear the rainbow, and would sniff his butt without prejudice.

5:32 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Hey, Bucky, you know that picture you mentioned on my site? I can't get to it. will you send it to me through gmail?

6:17 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Amy said...

That butterfly guy has to have Dexatrim in that purse of his... What a lanky thing he is.

And your buddy's moustache rocks the party.

7:11 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:52 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Woo hoo! Check out the belle's balls...I mean the belle of the ball!

8:37 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

I'm back; I made a mistake, because I am so out of practice at commenting. What I said was:

Biscuit's gay; and he's a sweet transvestite, too. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I LOVE the pic of you and Rico Suave. Just how the hell tall are the two of you? Individually, I mean; not, like, if you stood one on top of the other.

I'm so tickled to see my blogfriend, eclectic, here at the Cotillion! She's good people, too. Blogworld keeps getting bigger and smaller at the same time.

And lastly, I seem to have misplaced my copy of the Homosexual Agenda. Perhaps you could send me yours, or even post it, in case someone else has mislaid theirs. Yes, mislaid it.

9:03 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Squirl - I see your monkey is now on display.

Amy - No doubt. I bet he could wear the old miniskirt I finally had to throw out after coming to grips with reality. And that rockin' moustache really does deserve a name of its own.

DP - and who doesn't dig the occasional quiver?

Mr. B - do you think you could have found an actual SUYT contest winner in this crowd? I saw some promising sights.

Susie - I'm glad you accept Biscuit for the VGD (Very Gay Dog) that he is. I personally dig his sense of style a bunch.
Our height difference was always a source of hilarity for people when Rico and I dated. As of now, I'm 5'10" (I used to be between 5'11" and 6'); in high school Rico was 5'2", but he might well have lost height to age as well. Prom was especially hilarious with me in my 3" heels.
I get such a delightful mix of people here who come from other blogs (or just by happenstance). I'm a pretty lucky Bucky blogger.
And I would imagine that I'll be receiving my copy of the Homosexual Agenda soon, seein' as how I'm now an honorary Mo. I'll get back to you on the specifics of that.

Post it, huh? Heh heh, I might need some help from Dazed and Greenie...

10:06 PM, June 19, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For Bucky and Susie:

8:00 a.m. Wake up. Wonder where you are.

8:01 a.m. Realize you are lying on 100 percent cotton sheets of at least a 300 count, so don't panic; you're not slumming.

8:02 a.m. Realize you are actually in your own bed for a change. Wake stranger next to you and tell them you are late for work so won't be able to cook breakfast for them. Mutter "sorry" as you help him look for his far-flung underwear. You find out that you tore his boxers while ripping them off him last night, so you "loan" him a pair of boxer-briefs, but not the new ones because you never intend to see him again.

8:05 a.m. Tell the stranger, whose name eludes you, "It was fun. I'll give you a call," as you usher him out the door, avoiding his egregious morning-breath.

8:06 a.m. Crumple and dispose of the piece of paper with his telephone number on it when you get to the kitchen.

8:07 a.m. Make a high protein breakfast while watching the Today show. Wonder if the stories you've heard about Matt Lauer are true. Decide they must be.

8:30 a.m. Italian or domestic? Decide to go with three-button Italian and the only shirt that is clean.

8:45 a.m. Climb into red Z4 and try not to look too much like Barbie driving one of her accessories as you pull out of your underground parking. Revos or Armanis? Go with Revos.

9:35 a.m. Stroll into office.

9:36 a.m. Close door to office and call best friend and laugh about the guy who spent the night at your condo. Point out something annoying about best friend's boyfriend but quickly add "It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, just as long as you love him."

10:15 a.m. Leave office, telling your secretary you are "meeting with a client." Pretend not to notice her insubordinate roll of her eyes (or the cloying "poem" she has tacked to her cubicle wall).

10:30 a.m. Hair appointment for lowlights and cut. Purchase of Aveda anti-humectant pomade.

11:30 a.m. Run into personal trainer at gym. Pester him about getting you Human Growth Hormone. Spend 30 minutes talking to friends on your cell phone while using Hammer Strength machines, preparing a mental-matrix of which circuit parties everyone is going to and which are now passe.

12:00pm Tan. Schedule back-waxing in time for Saturday party where you know you will end up shirtless.

12:30 p.m. Pay trainer for anabolic steroids and schedule a workout. Shower, taking ten minutes to knot your tie while you check-out your best friend's boyfriend undress with the calculation of someone used to wearing a t-back and having dollars stuffed in their crotch.

1:00 p.m. Meet someone for whom you only know his waist, chest and penis size from AOL M4M chat for lunch at a hot, new restaurant. Because the maître d' recognizes you from a gay bar, you are whisked past the Christian heterosexual couples who have been waiting patiently for a table since 12:30.

2:30 p.m. "Dessert at your place." Find out, once again, people lie on AOL.

3:33 p.m. Assume complete control of the U.S., state, and local governments (in addition to other nations' governments); destroy all healthy Christian marriages; recruit all children grades Kindergarten through 12 into your amoral, filthy lifestyle; secure complete control of the media, starting with sitcoms; molest innocent children; give AIDS to as many people as you can; host a pornographic "art" exhibit at your local art museum; and turn people away from Jesus, causing them to burn forever in Hell.

4:10 p.m. Time permitting, bring about the general decline of Western Civilization and look like you are having way too much fun doing it.

4:30 p.m. Take a disco-nap to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest and being so terribly witty.

6:00 p.m. Open a fabulous new bottle of Malbec.

6:47 P.M. Bake Ketamine for weekend. Test recipe.

7:00 P.M. Go to Abercrombie & Fitch and announce in a loud voice, "Over!"

7:40 P.M. Stop looking at the photographic displays at Abercrombie & Fitch and go to a cool store to begin shopping.

8:30 p.m. Light dinner with catty homosexual friends at a restaurant you will be "over" by the time it gets its first review in the local paper.

10:30 p.m. Cocktails at a debauched gay bar, trying to avoid alcoholic queens who can't navigate a crowd with a lit cigarette in one hand and a Stoli in a cheap plastic cup in the other. Make audible remark about how "trashy" people who still think smoking is acceptable are.

12:00 a.m. "Nightcap at your place." Find out that people lie in bars, too.

10:41 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...


If I had pants on, I'd totally be pissin' 'em right now!
I'm so glad I checked my comments before I went to bed...

Oh, my lord, I may have to print that out.

11:02 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

d & c:
1. Damn, that's some agenda. Y'all must be exhausted.

2. I am apparently even less gay than I realized, however . . .

3. I could be totally gay between 4:30 and 5:59 p.m.

11:03 PM, June 19, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, Bucky's not wearing any pants! Susie, you ARE terribly, terribly witty. True story. Now, Greenie may have his own agenda, although since we both live near Seattle, it may be similar.

11:16 PM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

D&C, The AGENDA, at last! How could I NOT have known all these years??! Susie, I'll fight you for the 4:30 time slot.

12:41 AM, June 20, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Susie - I think we can pencil you in for the Afternoon Gay Time Slot.

Dazed - don't worry, only a temporary condition. I am with pants now. You can open your eyes.

Eclectic - do you think you and Susie could alternate days on that 4:30 time slot?

8:24 AM, June 20, 2005  
Blogger Opera Gal said...

Now I know why I can never find any of that Aveda anti-humectant poamde ....


10:21 AM, June 20, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

So, uh, what magic was living in the purse??

Do you think that crowd would have participated in the contest?

11:02 AM, June 20, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Bucky, I'm grateful to you for taking on the scheduling of that 4:30 time slot. I do NOT want to fight eclectic for my position in the Homosexual Agenda. She would kick my out-of-shape ass.

8:47 PM, June 20, 2005  
Blogger Maven said...

I thought for sure you'd wear your ass-less chaps at this fest! I'm sure it's the one place where you wouldn't stand out wearing them:)

10:09 PM, June 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy God that Butterfly Kid needs a sam-ich.

You guys are cute. :D

7:57 PM, June 23, 2005  
Blogger mister anchovy said...

greatwhitebear pointed me over here....I just posted pics of the Toronto Pride Parade on misteranchovy...stop over for a look. It was a great day!

11:37 PM, June 26, 2005  
Anonymous Maven said...

Fantastic post, great pics, and makes me wish so many of the friends I've made via blogging did not live so damned far away!

10:59 AM, June 11, 2009  

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