the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Monday, July 18, 2005

Jet lag hag

I think everyone should send me a thank-you note for resisting the urge to write, I just flew in from Chicago, and boy are my arms tired! See how I avoided that altogether?

With my geek training completed, I spent the weekend hangin' out with Jess and bein' an annoyance to society in general and Chicago in particular. She also got to see me at my very most graceful. We were walkin' along, talkin' about pressing matters - I believe I may have been pontificating about the relative merit of using shivering Chihuahuas as sexual devices, and the difficulty in removing the resulting stains from said dogs - when the sidewalk abrubtly and without warning ended and dropped off at least two inches into what must have been a first cousin, once removed, of quicksand. I've always said that if there's a way to fall down, I'll find it, and I did not waver from my philosophy on this occasion. I believe the only way to describe my descent is BAM! My hands took the brunt of the fall (well, and my dignity, which was close to nil in the first place): I scraped the heel of my left hand, and jammed the livin' shit out of my right thumb, which made for this lovely bruise on my palm:



It's amazing I was never a fuckin' ballerina.

Well, I have to confess. I let Jess do something to me I've never let anyone do before. And I've included a picture. I will leave some spoiler space, for those of a delicate nature who do not wish to be shocked and horrified by the subject matter in this photograph.

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>scroll, Nilbo, scroll!
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first dye

That's right, I let her dye my hair. What the fuck did you think I meant? Yep, I'm 40, and I've never pushed my hair color in any direction other than its own until now. She did a really great job with it, and it feels softer and healthier than it did before we started. It's got a lot more auburn and red highlights than you can tell in the picture; I'll have to snap some shots out in the sun when the thunderstorms stop here.

And now I must end my post and give in to the sleep that's been tuggin' on my eyelids since I started to upload my pictures. Night, y'all.

23 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Susie said...

So that was Jess's mystery. Honey, your poor hand. That hurts. But your hair looks SUPER. Very pretty. Good job, Jess. Bucky? Stay home now.

10:48 PM, July 18, 2005  
Blogger Candy said...

While I should of warned you about our Illinois quicksand, you never did explain to me exactly how you know how to get smut stains off of those little dogs. I think you may of simply threw yourself to the ground to change the subject.

And I really hope you still like the hair and your honey does too, you must get some sunlight shots as you are right, the red gloss doesnt come through in this pics and its really beautiful and shiny.And soft. If you keep using that stuff I gave you, even a few times a week, it will stay silky soft.

I had so much fun in Chicago with you shopping, but all the walking wore more me out and Im going back to bed, again.

10:49 PM, July 18, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Zee har...eet eez sooo sahxy.

On another note: The, um, "bruise" on your palm? Suuuure it's from "falling down." I mean, come on, Bucky. Do you REALLY expect us to believe that? The bottle of jiz is right there in the picture!

11:31 PM, July 18, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice hair, Bucky! Nice job, Jess! If I come to Chicago can you A) Dye my hair and B) find some hair for me to dye?

11:45 PM, July 18, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

Ladybug took the words right outta my keyboard! You and rosy sleep well, 'kay?

12:12 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Unknown said...

Nilbo's gonna be so disappointed.
Your hair looks absolutely gorgeous Bucky, and it even matches the bruise!

6:16 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I'm sorry about the bruise, the hair looks fine and all, but did we take pictures of the dogs in use? This is just for research purposes of course.

6:33 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

You know, I have almost the identical bruise on my right hand, and I haven't fallen down for weeks.

The hair looks great, although I think the picture doesn't do it justice. You really should have taken a picture of the hair against a contrasting surface. Say ... wrapped around Jess's hand ...

Oh, give me a break. I can't help it. I got all fired up from looking at Spurious Plum's corn porn.

7:26 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Danielle said...

the hair looks great :)

7:33 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Amy said...

Bucky the was walkin'
With Jess at her side,
When all of a sudden
Her coordination died.

And she fell, quite abrupt
On her poor lovely hands
A collective "Oh No!"
Was heard from her fans,

The concern didn't last
For long, to be fair-
For we were distracted
By her new silky hair.

It just goes to show
How she turns things around,
From pity- to pretty-
Bucky ne'er lets us down.

7:38 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Amy, what a nice poem.

Bucky, your poor hands. I'm so sorry you hurt yourself like that. On the other (ahem) hand, your hair is lovely!

7:46 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Susie - Didn't she do a nice job? And her first-aid skills are superior too - if I'd been with anyone else, I'd have probably had to have the thumb amputated.

Jess - I LOVE my hair enough to marry it. And I guess you figured out my little ploy. Get myself backed into a conversational corner? Self injury, stat! Now, get some rest so you're ready for next time I visit. You should be recovered in a year or so.

DP - thanks! I like it too.

LadyBug - um, er, uh, that is...
Okay, okay, so I might've slipped in some jizz, so what? It's all over the sidewalks in Chicago, you know.

Tardist - Yes, that's right. I was a nice girl, choir practice and such, until I started hangin' out with Jess. Now it's leather and hair dye and tattoos and Chihuahua molestation for me. Arrrrrrrr!

Dazed - surely there's got to be some semblance of hair to dye? No? Then we must bring you much sunblock.

Eclectic - I don't know what you and LadyBug are implying. Are you tryin' to call me Katy Masturbaty?

Song - I find one of the true joys in my life is the torture of Nilbo. And thanks - I am so happy with my hair I didn't even bitch when I had to come back to work this morning.

Mr. B - I will have to post the hot Chihuahua love pictures. But the stain removal is an ancient Chinese secret.

Nilbo - you are a dirty old man. And you will bruise at a significantly slower speed if you use lubrication.
Too bad you couldn't see how very sexy I looked DURING the dye job. (Jess - publication of that picture is strictly verboten)

Danielle - thank you, ma'am! I will post more pix soon.

Amy - that was downright beautiful! Perhaps now YOU are the blog poet laureate?

8:38 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Kitty - I dawdled in my comment and missed both you and Squirl! Ha, glad the bruise got your attention. I promise sunlight pix soon. Right now, my hair kinda looks like...well, like I was at on airplanes yesterday. Good luck with the coffee thing!

Squirl - thanks, and right now the hand looks worse than it feels. But then I try to do something that involves my right thumb, and I'm reminded that it's not TOTALLY better yet.

8:42 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Oh my heavenly Lord, I am SO glad I swallowed (my COFFEE, you perv) before I read "Katy Masturbaty."

9:32 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Torrie said...

I didn't think it was possible for you to get even hotter, BUT I love the hair!

I'm a little concerned about your hand. It looks swollen. Promise me that if it doesn't get better in a couple of days you will go to the doctor.

OR, you could just come to NY and let my husband take a look at it.

9:44 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

Oooh--sexy! I love your hair--nice colour!

Your hand must really hurt! That's a nasty bruise--are you left handed or right?

10:22 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

What Torrie said. OR Jess could publish the "during" picture. I mean, that won't help your hand. But it would let me try out your solution to MY hand problem ...

For once, let's think of the greater good here.

10:22 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Kitty - no, the alleged bruise is on my alleged schlong.

LadyBug - it's nice to know that you swallow. Coffee. heh heh yeah. "Coffee"

Torrie - why thank you! Should I be worried about the bruise even though my thumb feels a whole lot better today? And wouldn't your husband just love it if I showed up at your door with my thumb in a little sling?

10:23 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Effie and Nilbo, I was too slow on the uptake here!

Effie - thanks! I am right handed, so I'm a little gimpy with writing instruments today. Not much different from usual, come to think of it. My thumb is still a bit sore, but nothin' like it was on the weekend.

Nilbo - no, you don't understand. The "during" pictures are so NOT sexy it hurts. Think hair in lots of little hair clips all over my head, in a dye-stained white t-shirt, watchin' Army of Darkness...okay, that is kind of hot. But the hair in little dye-covered knots on top of my head picture shall never be published.

And I can't really help you out with your hand situation until mine is resolved. I am, after all, right handed. The greater good will have to wait for the swelling to subside.

10:28 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger SierraBella said...

"scroll, Nilbo, scroll!"
I don't think Nilbo even noticed there was a spoiler space.

11:44 AM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Annejelynn said...

looks guhood! nice job, Jess!

like the new masthead - made me bust a gut...ridiculous! bucky charms? I love it.

5:54 PM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Sierrabella - yeah, I know Nilbo goes lookin' for the dirty pictures first and then considers the text.

DP - I did get some pebble marks in my left hand. It was all terribly undignified, but as you've seen, I'm used to that.

Annejelynn - Glad you dig the hair and the new masthead. Me with Photoshop when I'm bored is a dangerous combination.

10:51 PM, July 19, 2005  
Blogger SWSNBN said...

Hey, my friend Ariel says you are hot and she would do you.


Hope that wasn't too out of line here.

11:55 PM, July 23, 2005  

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