the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Friday, October 28, 2005

Boy's got a problem with succulents


Originally, this post was to be about Vernor's, a ginger ale with a unique zing to it. Is it available outside Michigan? People from other states usually scratch their heads and spit on my shoes in disbelief when I talk about the sacred nectar.

But then I thought: "Take that pomegranate out of your monkey and face the fact that people do not come to this site to hear about soft beverages - unless there's urine in 'em, and they're bein' fed to the unsuspecting, then that's totally fair game - they come here for revolting, disgusting, and wrong. Or mayhem." This time I can offer a little mayhem. Whether or not it's disgusting will be in direct proportion to your sympathy for a stuffed cactus.

The poor cactus never had a chance

Snickers has had this stuffed cactus for about a month now, but he never paid it a bit of attention until today, when he paid it meticulous, methodical attention, and ripped the guts right out of the hapless green prickly plush.

Vicious Aussie vs Cactus

One more step and the cactus gets it.

Cactus killer

Gutted, abandoned cactus

All the king's horses, and all the kings' men, agreed that the cactus was pretty much fucked.

26 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Candy said...

He looks so pleased with his kill. Good boy, good good boy

12:42 AM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

*hoping he got that wiseass roadrunner too*

7:04 AM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

That's quite the savage hunter you have there. As he attacked, he no doubt drew on his ancestry, when wild packs of Snickers-like dogs roamed the plains and forests, in search of stuffed flora and fauna on which to gorge themselves.

Now, if only you could teach him to properly eat a monkey ...

8:00 AM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

When I see this level of conduct disorder, I blame the parents. Have Snickers call me.

8:12 AM, October 28, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who do I call?

8:13 AM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Unknown said...

You know, I'm pretty sure I had something to say, but the comments from Nilbo, Susie and Biscuit made me laugh so hard, I forgot what I was going to say...


9:14 AM, October 28, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I LOVE VERNOR'S! We have it here too (Seattle).

Snickers is doing what dogs do best - emulating their people. Did he catch you strewing the house with a Vernor's-green trail of gingerale carnage? Hmmm?

9:31 AM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

We have Vernor's in the frozen northland of Canada too--my brother LOOOVES it....

Snickers left a warning I suppose for any future invaders....he'll tear the stuffin' right out of you!

9:48 AM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

WTF? D&C -- I'm just east of you a couple hours, and I've never seen a Vernor's. Damn!! I hate being left out!!!

Oh, and good dog, Snickers.

11:01 AM, October 28, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

eclectic - Fred Meyer, baby! Hoo-ya!

11:44 AM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger MilkMaid said...

Oh THAT outta be fun pooping out.

Never heard of your nectar, must be a yank thing.

12:18 PM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger PlazaJen said...

Whoa. I usually catch it before it's stuffin-everywhere & can sew it back up? That? Beyond repair. I think he's winking in one of those pictures. He knows what killer he truly is.
And we don't have that soda readily available in Kansas City, but I've seen it & heard of it before. I myself am missing "Ting", the Jamaican version of Fresca but with 20x the Kerpow of Tartness. (That's technical soda samplin' talk.)

1:23 PM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Random and Odd said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:28 PM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Random and Odd said...

Snickers and Halo could do some damage alone for 5 minutes.

She ate the handle off of the hose. SHE CHEWED THROUGH A HOSE.

Bucky, some warning about this type of dog...WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE.

How do I get her to stop tipping over the water bowl with her paws????

1:30 PM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Maybe Snickers is just mad because you're keeping the Vernors for yourself.

3:47 PM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Let's get back to the monkeys, shall we?

4:47 PM, October 28, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have Piston bags, on the end of sticks . . .

5:45 PM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Michele in Michigan said...

And in my house? When your dog left the remnants, my soccerball-shaped cat would follow behind and eat every scrap. A fucking feline vacuum cleaner!

Dumbass actually climbed inside the back of a child-size recliner to eat the foam.

It's called "pica" in humans, I wonder what the name is for pets that eat strange shit?

12:15 AM, October 29, 2005  
Blogger spoonleg said...

I didn't know they marketed golden showers in a can. that's so awesome.

6:38 AM, October 29, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

Dogs chew up the dumbest things sometimes. We had this big dumb black mutt named Ted when I was a kid. He ate a paper bag. Not a lunch sized, but a real grocery bag. That was a birthing process I never wish to relearn.


9:43 AM, October 29, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hapless ...prickly plush?
That sounds like me a few days after I've shaved my, umm, plush.

Seeing the shots of Snickers ripping into that plush reminds me of chou-chou. I just realized she is a cat inhabited by the spirits of several dogs. That explains it.

The other day she was valiant just like a dog. She defended me from my sock. And chewed it into bits. I came out of the shower just in time to see it and her energy was so inspiring I couldn't help but shout "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!"

9:56 AM, October 29, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

P.S. "hapless *green* prickly plush doesn't sound like me.

P.P.S. Milkmaid's comment
"Never heard of your nectar, must be a yank thing" was my coffee out the nose comment of the morning.

9:59 AM, October 29, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

girl.a...OMG...I'm rolling.

11:45 AM, October 29, 2005  
Blogger mister anchovy said...

verners has been available on and off up here in ontario canada for many years....sometimes you don't see it for a long time, and then, there it is....

12:21 PM, October 29, 2005  
Blogger greatwhitebear said...

I see your pooch has developed the same taste for fine polyeser stuffing as our Airedale, Kipper!

And I can tell you that Vernor's is available here in Hoosierville!

However, I still can't find Vernors that tastes as good as it did from the Soda fountain in the old Sears in downtown Pontiac (okay, I just revealed myself to be ancient). The downtown Sears closed over 40 years ago, and I am still searching for the pefect Vernors.

And when are they gonna bring back the little bearded dwarf guy who used to be on the bottle?

1:12 AM, October 30, 2005  
Blogger Schmootzie said...

Vernor's rules. We can't get the diet version in FL usually. Last week I found a bottle and used it to dilute cocktails. I went through a handle bottle of VO in no time.

Vernor's... good stuff.

8:37 AM, October 30, 2005  

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