the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

C'mon down to Tardville

Here's why it is, perhaps, a little dangerous to leave me alone for such long stretches of time:

214:  Assclown

A few other notes for the night:

  • Squirl got me a birthday card that has a picture of a princess on the front, and on the inside it reads:

    She rarely passed gas, but when she did, it came out pink and glittery, and it smelled like candy, and people cried when it went away.

    She's been my sister for a long time - she oughta know!

  • In the middle of my David Lynch DVD-fest lately, I have found something even more surreal and disturbing to watch: The 3-DVD set of the best of the Captain and Tennille Show! Oh, the production numbers! Oh, the jawdroppingly awful costumes and sets! Oh, the ABC tie-in guest stars in the lamest comedy skits you will ever call "comedy skits" and not "suicide notes." Don't get me wrong; having this 30-years-later re-viewing of my once-favorite show has not lessened my adoration for the Captain and Tennille. On the contrary, this is giving me so many laughs I can share with my family and friends that I love them even a little bit more for releasing this bundle of joy into my life. Really, you haven't lived until you've seen Toni Tennille, clad in blue silk overalls and a straw hat, perform Elton John's Honky Cat while dancing among a half dozen of the lightest-loafered boys in the biz (also in overalls and straw hats). Yes, I suppose I've had the campiest of weekends.

  • Friday woke me up this morning by hooking a claw into my left big toe. I yanked my foot as I awoke, making it ever so much worse, and the pain was absolutely searing and insistent. I cursed my way to the bathroom, then went back to bed without really looking at my throbbing toe. When I came out of my morning stupor a few hours later, I examined my foot in the light and saw that my toe had bled more than a bit.

    Now I'm worried; do you think the kittens are drinking my blood while I'm asleep? If so, do you think it will cause them to grow thumbs? I can't think of many nightmares worse than vampire kittens with opposable thumbs.

16 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

I'm afraid it can't get any worse. After all, you already have kittens. Isn't that enough?

6:50 AM, June 05, 2007  
Blogger PlazaJen said...

All I know is, in that outfit, you can lead those cats like the benevolent ruler you were always meant to be.....
Who's bringin' sexy back?!

7:40 AM, June 05, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

I had NO idea you were such a fan of Captain and Tenille... wow. And yes, the kittens are drinking your blood while you're asleep.

8:35 AM, June 05, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

LOVE the picture, btw.

8:35 AM, June 05, 2007  
Blogger Squirl said...

Kittens with opposable thumbs, though... I've already seen what Thirteen can do to a glass of water. I mean knock it over, not gently tip it so he can get a drink. See, yeah, they're scary enough already.

I think that outfit goes with the birthday card.

10:02 AM, June 05, 2007  
Blogger Kranki said...



Kittehs with thumbs and bloodlust=fearworthy.

1:45 PM, June 05, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love the photo! I have noticed, by the way, that Stumpy bears a striking resemblance to to when she wears her hair down, her monkey jammies and her shades. I don't know what that means but I am a bit afraid.

Oh and I absolutely think the cats are quietly drinking your blood at night. That's exactly the sort of thing cats do!

3:00 PM, June 05, 2007  
Blogger Spilling Ink said...

Friday with Thumbs would make an awesome skit. When are you going to start on the video production, Bucky?

5:05 PM, June 05, 2007  
Blogger Spilling Ink said...

Oops. I meant to say ELEVEN with Thumbs. Oh, yeah!! Based on the photo you posted on November 28 of last year. That would rock.

5:10 PM, June 05, 2007  
Blogger eclectic said...

I don't know, but I think that blood-drinking vampire kittens with opposable thumbs could actually be worse: they could have diarrhea too.

5:11 PM, June 05, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

May I assume that that claw was attached to a cat? (The ones that mall me usually are).

11:32 PM, June 05, 2007  
Blogger I'm not here. said...

I for one welcome our new kitten overlords.

Lurve the photo btw. :)

1:16 AM, June 06, 2007  
Blogger Curly Glamour Girlie said...

That photo looks very Kathleen Turner-ish. At first I thought the scarf on your head was a fez.

Blood sucking kittens? Well don't they already suck our breath while they sleep? Sucking blood's not much of a stretch from that.

And Captain and Tenille?? That's just cool - "Love Will Keep Us Together" is one of those songs that is CONSTANTLY in my head.

8:19 AM, June 06, 2007  
Blogger Laura said...

Nice hat btw which dwarf were you meant to be? :O)

2:11 PM, June 06, 2007  
Blogger Schmootzie said...

Daryl Dragon might be drinking you blood all night if he were not dead. Imposters live on... they call themselves "impersonators", but they are not even close.


10:56 PM, June 06, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nobody gets that photo.

But I do:

11:00 AM, June 08, 2007  

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