the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Monday, March 31, 2008

Big Brother owns your nipples

Anybody else see this story?

Woman goes through airport security and nipple rings set off metal detector. She offers to let an officer look at them to make sure she's not wearing a "bra bomb" but TSA officers insist she remove them. She is sent behind a curtain with a pair of pliers to de-jewel her nipples while several TSA officers stand nearby laughing about it.


I fully expected the TSA to single out the offending officers as abusive assholes and distance themselves from the incident. Imagine my surprise to read that forced removal of body jewelry is an action approved by the TSA, and that the agency "...supports the thoroughness of the officers involved as they were acting to protect the passengers and crews of the flights departing Lubbock that day."

Um...SHE OFFERED TO LET SOMEONE LOOK AT THEM. Why was that not good enough? There were female TSA officers present who could've done a quick visual inspection behind the curtain to make sure the offending boobs weren't going to explode on the plane. To my mind, this is a case of a bunch of inbred redneck dickhole bullies with badges amusing themselves at this woman's expense, playing a little game of Fuck With the Freak.

The bejeweled passenger is demanding an apology from the TSA, which I think they should serve to her on a red satin pillow with mints on it. The TSA also acknowledges that its policy will now direct officers to perform a visual inspection in cases like this one. I just don't understand why this wasn't the directive in the first place. From my own experience, I know that removing body jewelry can, in some cases, result in the piercing hole closing, resulting in either painful reinsertion of the jewelry or the need to re-pierce.

Way to make us respect your authori-tai, fuckheads. Because when a woman can board an airplane with decorative metal in her tits, then the terrorists have already won.

13 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Unknown said...

Damn and double damn! This morning I was discussing with a theologian what the presidential candidates aren’t addressing and we concluded it’s the eroding of our freedom and all that goes with that. Now you’ve added one more case of Bushite oppression to the list. Damn and double damn!

12:17 AM, April 01, 2008  
Blogger Squirl said...

Eroding of our freedoms is right. They get away with it because they have us in the grip of fear. How much more can we expect them to take away.

In this case, as you said, it wasn't just that they needed to make the plane safe. She shouldn't have had to take them out and she should have had women, not leering men, working with her. This is disgusting.

7:19 AM, April 01, 2008  
Blogger Opera Gal said...

She shouldn't have had to take them out and she should have had women, not leering men, working with her.

right on, Squirl.

somehow, the ACLU needs to find a way to stomp the living a-holeness out of those freaks.

because those are the freaks, not the bejeweled airline passenger.

8:39 AM, April 01, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have got to be fucking kidding me. Those guys need to forcibly have their balls pierced; and then be handed a set of rusty pliers and a, "Have a nice day!"

11:24 AM, April 01, 2008  
Blogger Bob said...

rarin. (

what were we talking about?

1:15 PM, April 01, 2008  
Blogger I'm not here. said...

Those last two were me.

Those rotten bastards.
That is all.

5:00 PM, April 01, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is no way ANYONE is making me remove my labia rings. And with ordinary pliers no less. No, I think NOT.

I would sue their asses.

5:44 PM, April 01, 2008  
Blogger I'm not here. said...

*looks back, sees the 'deleted by author thingies' are gone, making me look like a fruitcake...then realizing--hey--not much of a stretch there.*

Hi, Bucky! :P

8:51 PM, April 01, 2008  
Blogger Flying Mermaid said...

I can't take no mo.

1:41 AM, April 02, 2008  
Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

Obscure Monty Python reference:

"My nipples are exploding with delight".

10:29 AM, April 02, 2008  
Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

This is disgusting.

8:34 AM, April 03, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(Fuck, I'm boarding a plane in two months and I have nipple piercings too. If this happens... I will have one hell of a blog to write, I know that much.)

4:31 PM, April 21, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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12:53 PM, April 23, 2010  

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