the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Friday, January 06, 2006

No puke, no pee, but come on in anyway

I've confessed here before that I am addicted to General Hospital. Every weekday, I see these same people, give or take a Carly replacement or three, and they're almost like the family I'm glad isn't my family. And you see people change, you see kids grow up (if they keep the same kid on contract), you watch characters go through pain and change and...zits.

Yeah, I'm a TV zit watcher. Lots of closeup shots and the fact that I'm usually watching GH on tape gives me the opportunity to closely examine this phenomenon. One actress in particular seems to sprout a lot of facial molehills.


05-Nat-inside.jpg
This is Emily, also known as Saint Emily or Poor, Pathetic Emily, depending on which snarky soap fan you ask. She is the simpering voice of reason and conscience in a small New York town gone mad with its own retardation...and she gets lots of zits on her chin.

Now, I'm not sayin' she's not still cute, but man - she does her fair share of onscreen kissy face, and I'm always worried what that kind of close proximity and friction could do to her, ah, condition.

nat1.jpg
Dramatization.

Today she was makin' out with mob boss Sonny Corinthos. Now, whattaya suppose is gonna happen the day the Godfather leans in for a kiss and ruptures her pus-filled volcano? You think there's not gonna be a hit on her after he pulls back and sees his favorite jacket ruined?


gh_benard_11_flip.jpg

I don't see how it can be good for anyone in Port Charles. Sand that thing down, Emily. Do it for the children.

***************

On a less zitty note, Arjay's wife was able to smuggle the Play-Doh to me today. Yes, that's right - we successfully stole modeling compound from her young children. Score!

I am amazed by the variety of colors they make now. There is gold and there is silver and there is fuschia and there is black! And it's virgin Play-Doh.

Look at all those fuckin' colors!

And as if things couldn't get any more right-in-without-splinters, there was also a brand-new Play-Doh Fun Factory in the smuggle bag!

Fun factory
Well, don't I feel silly - my nickname for my lady parts is "Fun Factory" too!


I don't think it should be hard to guess what I'll be doin' all weekend.

19 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Squirl said...

Are you going to be making zits for Emily to squish on Sonny's face? You might not need the silver for that.

Have fun!

8:37 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Jim said...

Ohdearsweetjesus. There's be no stopping you now.

8:38 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger whfropera said...

BFE - I can model really really really good skulls, bony feet and hands. Can I come play?

9:07 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Play!! Yes!!

(nice packaging ya got there Bucky)

9:13 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Squirl - oooh, I hadn't thought of that. Whole new series: A GH homage in Play-Doh.

Jim - I am like a mad scientist who finally has that chemistry set he always wanted for Christmas...

Opera gal - hell yeah, you know I'll need some skeletons and shit.

Mr. B - whoa, my packaging DIDN'T suck? I have to write this day down on the calendar.

9:23 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

OH. MY. GOD.
The humanity!
It looks like so much fun I'M almost tempted to go buy some!
For myself, no way is that kid getting his mitts on it...

9:40 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

A FUN FACTRY!?! Cool. It's like stealing candy from a baby, but different.

9:44 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger hellokittn said...

Great. I can see it now. Silver crawdaddies on David's massive life-sized member.

10:41 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

That is a lot of play dough. Imagine what you could do with it... you could make a penis the sixe of a person (well, a midget person). good luck explaining that one to the kiddies!

11:05 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Michele in Michigan said...

I am having a SERIOUS case of Play-Doh envy. Can I come over and play? I will even make you a perfect veiny ginormous penis! Ball sack, too! PLEEEEEEEEEZE???

11:11 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

An addiction to General Hospital would do nothing for me. But PLAY-DOH, Bucky? With all of those colors what are you going to do now?

How
creative
artistic
wild
unrestrained
pornographic
obscene
indecent
disgusting
erotic
can you get?

1:52 AM, January 07, 2006  
Blogger Mike said...

With an entire case of Play-Doh AND a Fun Factory you could rule the world.

There's no stopping you now.

7:55 AM, January 07, 2006  
Anonymous Torrie said...

I can only imagine what you will come up with.

9:22 AM, January 07, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

Daggone it, this just showed up for me today. You know, between you and JR, I've got Play-Doh envy, too. I'm gonna go get me some with my birfday money. I don't know what I'll make, but if it's too obscene for my wholesome blog, I'll send it to you :)

9:51 AM, January 07, 2006  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Nice play doh set there, but its no creativity table.... just saying..

12:08 PM, January 07, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

So where are the Play Doh zits?

12:52 PM, January 07, 2006  
Blogger mrtl said...

Congratulations on the Play-doh booty!

To note - the Birthday Kit comes with sparkle Play-doh. It's pretty nice.

4:21 PM, January 07, 2006  
Blogger SierraBella said...

Since we bought a new big-screen TV I'm skeered by lots of the close-ups.
Zits and moles look bad, but seeing pores you can actually walk into is the worst!

5:04 PM, January 07, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Madame D - Heh, yeah, it seems to be the general concensus that we all want some, but the kids can't see it.

Kranki - oh, equally satisfying. *rubs hands together gleefully*

KChia - oooh, good idea! Shellfish + great artwork is OK in my book.

Kylz - damn good thing I never had kids, eh?

Michele in Mich - looks like everybody wants to play. I need to schedule a Play-Doh Fest so that all can join in!

SS Nick - these are a few of my favorite things...

Mike - I hope I can start a Play-Doh revolution. People everywhere, rise up and show your true feelings in rainbow-colored modeling compound!

Torrie - if you can imagine something disgusting, I'm already workin' on it. ;)

Susie - you should get some for yourself, and some for your clients to play with. Trust me - it's very therapeutic.

Jess - oh, rub it in, Miss "I got the Play-Doh Creativity Table". Hmmmmph.

Squirl - oh, I got zits on reserve, trust me!

Mrtl - I will have to look for the birthday kit. And my booty thanks you!

Sierrabella - hmmm, maybe I should hold off on the fancy tv for now...

8:11 PM, January 07, 2006  

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