the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Friday, November 18, 2005

SPF: Past, present, and future

So...Kristine said we couldn't use our kids for this one, which is good, because I wouldn't even know where to start lookin' for the little fuckers, and she said we couldn't use our pets, because obviously Kristine hates animals.

I had to use the thing that was next in line for nearest and dearest to my heart: TOYS!


This is a teddy bear which I believe I received for my first Christmas (that's 1965, for you historians). He has no eyes anymore, and I'm pretty sure he had a music box surgically removed from his tummy at one time, but this stitched-up little fella goes where I go.


Of course, I knew Kristine wouldn't be satisfied until I whipped out my TCHOTCHKES. I think it's no secret 'round these parts that I like to spend more time than is healthy posing and photographing my Homies, Gumby, etc. Dammit, I'm not hurting anybody! Stop lookin' at me like that...


I will need more than one toy in the future.

Like a virgin...touched for the very first...BWAHAHAHAHAHA, oh, I can't even type that with a straight face.
Who knows? I may need to learn DVDA in the future. This beats the hell out of having one's ducks in a row, don'tcha think?

40 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Jana said...

So you're planning to have an active future, I guess!

I played too!

8:55 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Pissy Britches said... crack me up.

9:17 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Logophile said...

oh mah lord,
you think that's what Shakespeare was talking about when he said "'s the thing" ?

We played too!

9:30 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Unknown said...

All play and no work makes for a very happy Bucky! :)

9:42 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger xtessa said...

LMAO!!! amazing... i played!

9:48 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

So that's like, your fucks in a row?

10:19 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger hemlock said...

Oh so tight....that's oh so horrible!!!

Welcome to the Friday mayhem that is SPF.

10:21 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

Teehee--I suppose that cream may come in handy.....

10:21 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Kate Giovinco Photography said...

Look at that loved teddy!

I played!

10:24 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Jana - I'll be active even if no one else wants to join in, dammit!

Pissy - thankya, thankya very much. It's no Vag ring, but it'll have to do...

Ariella - I'm sure that's what Shakespeare meant.

CKelli - that's kind of my plan. ;)

Xtessa - thanks! It's my first time...

Susie - ding ding ding ding! We have a winnah!

LeafGirl - you knew my first time had to have vaginal shrinking cream, right?

Effie - hell, to listen to my gyno talk, I could use it now!

Kate - I could no sooner ditch that teddy bear than I could pee in a stall with the door open. Not gonna happen.

10:59 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

I WON! I didn't think I'd win, because I thought it was really "your dicks in a row," but I WON! What did I win? I hope not one of those, um, from the row; although I must say, they do look Christmasy; maybe in an upstairs window?

11:19 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Unknown said...

LOL -- I'm cracking up over Susie's "fucks in a row" comments. Too funny!

11:21 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Susie - "dicks in a row" would also have been acceptable to the judges.

CKelli - I just love it when Susie throws around the F-bomb.

11:31 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

I can't tell whether Bucky is corrupting Susie or just providing a forum where the normally-reserved and upstanding citizen can let her wild side roam free. I suspect a bit of both.

Personally, I'd have gone with "getting her cocks in a row".

11:38 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

No sucky packaging on that cream at all. Well done.

12:33 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Candy said...

Oh yeah and people think I am sick?

And you said Gumby,Damnit!

1:06 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Random and Odd said...

You know what Bucky? normally I would just decide to say..."It's on." but with you...I don't sort of scare me a little bit.
I swear, you're like that girl at the busstop that smoked and threatened to kick my ass and then became my friend...and even then, she scared me.

BUTT, because I really like you...I mean...REALLLLLY like you *wiggling eyebrows* I will be forced to find out the thing that annoys you the most and just pester you until you cave to my will.

Oh and just so you know...after your Penthouse Forum post, I went and bought a romance novel and read it all in one night. You got me all fired up for smut.

1:12 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Spikey1 said...

First time caller.... oh those toys! LOL

1:13 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Nilbo - Well, now you've gone and used the word "cock" and completely RUINED my clean, family-oriented little blog here. Will I ever be able to show my face in polite society again? Motherfucker!

Mr. B - I love it when you like my packaging. ;)

Jess - heh heh heh, wondered if anyone would catch my secret Gumby code.
And you ARE sick. Just because I am, too, doesn't take the heat off you, chickie.

Kristine - I might stand at the bus stop and smoke, but I think you could easily kick my ass.
Well, okay...maybe I'm just letting you win because it's fun, but nonetheless...
What annoys me the most? Hmmmm...
I'll have to get back to you on that...

Spikey1 - Welcome! I am never without toys of some kind or another...

1:35 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Kami said...

Do those take size D batteries?

2:52 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Kami - I like to hook the whole lot of 'em up to a car battery.

3:49 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Nature Girl said...

Great pics..I've been dying to see your homies. I had no idea what they were. Even stopped at a laudry mat to check them out but they didn't have any. I played too..Stacie

4:52 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

Susie said "fuck" AND "dick." And I can't stop giggling.

5:09 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Unknown said...

Bucky, how in the hell can I remain serious and deal with immense issues such as capital punishment much less the homeless family I invited into my house when you do posts like this?

5:13 PM, November 18, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh, that bear is totally spreading it.

5:36 PM, November 18, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know you want me.

5:39 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Stacie - persevere and you, too, will find the font of the Homies.

Eclectic = I don't know why people get all dirty and profane over here. This is a good, clean family=oriented blog, you know. When we're not talkin' about monkeys and butt plugs.

SS Nick - hey, you deserve a moment in your day where you can shake your head, laugh, and say, "What the hell is wrong with HER brain?" It's healthy. And lord knows you need a break right now!

Kalki - whattya think all the stitches are from? ;)

Susie's box - well, I'm sure we'd all like to put a hand under your lid to see what's inside, but unlike me, Katy Caverna, we'd probably have to do it one at a time for you.

9:02 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

Toys R You.

Thankfully an Elmo doll wasn't harmed in the process.

11:16 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger I'm not here. said...

I like it!

2:10 AM, November 19, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

I remember that teddy bear. Not goin' there with any of the other, um, toys.

8:19 AM, November 19, 2005  
Blogger Tardist said...

I can't believe you still have that Teddy Bear! I even remember when it still had eyes! I really thought it had been thrown away years ago. Actually, I hadn't even thought of it in years.

10:46 AM, November 19, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What are the strings on the ends? Pull starts?

A girl after my own heart.

One of the opening lines of this terrible move Way of the Gun is "you best shut your little girl up before I come over there and fuck start her face."

Between trying to figure out if that's a wrist strap, A/C adapter, or a pull start on the ends of those buggers and laughing my ass off because... weellll... Susie did say fuck... I couldn't help but remember that quote.

Going back to my hole now *murmp*

3:23 PM, November 19, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why is it so much smaller in here?

3:23 PM, November 19, 2005  
Blogger Unknown said...

You’re right, Bucky. I need the break from serious shit and you (again) have provided it. BTW, how many of those, uh, “ducks in a row” can you use at the same time?

4:07 PM, November 19, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

When did it become an "occasion" for me to say "fuck"? I mean, not that I'm against OCCASIONS, but, me and fuck go way back . . .

Indeed, I am oft-quoted for the infamous, "Jesus doesn't give a rat's ass if I say 'fuck'".

8:13 PM, November 19, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is funny stuff. You are a laugh Bucky:)

9:54 PM, November 19, 2005  
Blogger Opera Gal said...

dammit, I am offsite with NO INTERNET for 12 hours a day!!!!


11:12 PM, November 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Bone Machine - love your Bloom County avatarrrrr! And I say UNFORTUNATELY, an Elmo doll wasn't harmed. Elmo needs his ass kicked.

M_D - was this just the right assortment for you? ;)

Squirl - best you don't think about the others.

Tarrrdist - I don't even remember what it looked like with eyes, it's been so long.

Killer - wrist straps. So you don't drop anything in the excitement.
And shrinkage!

SS Nick - I haven't tried all four yet..I figure I'll save that up for the grand finale!

Susie - "Jesus doesn't give a rat's ass if I say 'fuck'". that REALLY should be on a t-shirt...

Kylz - thanks and welcome!

Opera gal - Noooooooo! What kind of god would allow that to happen? How are the shakes that I know must be setting in?

11:43 PM, November 19, 2005  
Blogger Kranki said...

MY EYES! MY EYES! You put your childhood toy and sex toys in the same post!

4:21 PM, November 20, 2005  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

Just be happy that the sex toys weren't the childhood toys.

7:40 PM, November 20, 2005  

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