the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Saturday, October 15, 2005

That's the ticket

Today has been a day of heavy-duty cleaning chores here in my home office. That is to say, I've only now discovered that there is an office beneath all the years and years' worth of crap that I had allowed to accumulate up here. You cannot even begin to imagine the bullshit I've dug out, laughed about, and then finally allowed myself to pitch. It's been quite liberating, to let go of all this clutter that I could never discard before. It's also been a day punctuated by nostalgia, mostly the giggly kind, but also some things that made me wistful, some trinkets and pictures that made me think of people who aren't around anymore, some scribblings and mementos that caused quick, sharp pangs of regret. There's always that danger when one digs into the physical tokens of the past, I guess.

I threw out my own weight in magazines that, at one time, I didn't think I could possibly live without. You know, the ones I haven't looked at in ten years? I also tossed many giant envelopes filled with newspaper clippings and comics that I once found important to have. And, holy bunga bunga, the receipts! I sure have bought a lot of shit in the last 15 years or so. Lots of t-shirts went, too, which is a minor miracle. I'm talkin' concert t-shirts, and that isn't something I take lightly. But it was just time to face the fact that most of these shirts were almost completely faded, were full of holes, and just wouldn't fit like they did when I was 25 and my body hadn't decided to hold all those Twinkies against me.

A batch of souveniers that did not make the trash basket would be the mass of concert ticket stubs I found. There are an awful lot of ticket stubs in this house. I found three in particular that slammed my ass right into the cheap seats on the rock n' roll time machine.

My first concert:

Beach Boys ticket

I could lie and say, "Yeah, it was the Beatles!" but then again, I think the 1978 date would make y'all cry bullshit. It's actually the Beach Boys. With all three Wilson brothers, if my dented brain is remembering correctly. The concert took place on the football field at Grand Haven Senior High, and Squirl took me so that Mom and Dad wouldn't have to hassle with the crowd. Some version of the Byrds without many or any of the original members opened, but it was all about the Beach Boys for me, anyway. I will confess that I remember the music less than I remember the spectacle of the crowd, and the people on the blanket next to ours who shared their wine with the adults on our blanket, and the funny smell in the air that I couldn't place and Squirl wasn't about to explain. Good times!

The stub from my second concert doesn't have the date visible, unfortunately, but I would guess that it was in the early part of 1979, maybe in February (Squirl, do you remember?):

Captain and Tennille ticket

Though he is cut off the ticket, I assure you that the Captain was there with Tennille, which yielded, oddly enough, the Captain and Tennille. This was shortly after their TV show was cancelled, and they were touring in support of their third album, Come in From the Rain. May the heavens have mercy on me for knowing so much about the Captain and Tennille. Mom and Dad took me to this one, so I'm thinkin' Squirl came along of her own free will, instead of as my babysitter. They put on an excellent show, and if you have anything bad to say about C&T, I've got a grabby little pucker for your tongue. It was at the LC Walker Arena in Muskegon, and some comic whose name I can't remember opened for them. All I remember is, I was 13 years old, and even then I could pick out a lame comedian when I saw one.

Now, since both the Captain and Tennille spent time touring as part of the Beach Boys (yes, Toni Tennille was the first and only Beach Girl), it seems like kind of a logical progression that they would be my first two concerts. But then my third concert threw that pattern right out the car window like a can of Blatz with hair in it:

Tom Waits ticket

It seems my musical tastes took a complete detour somewhere in the months following the Captain and Tennille concert. I had become hooked on this Tom Waits character, and when I heard he would be at Grand Valley, I begged, literally begged, Squirl to take me. The tickets were something insanely cheap, like eight bucks a head, and she graciously acquiesced. The show was in a tiny little auditorium in the college, intimate as could be, and when Tom took the stage, I knew I would never be the same again. He was on tour for Blue Valentines, and he had a gas pump and a lamp post on the stage as props. During the show, Tom swigged on a bottle of whiskey, spit on the stage when he felt the need, and put out some of the best live music I've ever heard, even to this day. It was a fairly long show, but the one song that stands out more than any other is Burma Shave, with just Tom and the piano. On the drive home, I was chattering a mile a minute in my overwhelming excitement, and to her credit, Squirl did not even once stop the car and push me out.

I just ain't been right since then. We can blame it on Tom Waits.

And just to prove that point, here's another item I found today that I just can't bear to discard:capncrunch1

I may or may not have added Photoshop jizz. You be the judge. Plus, I haven't used the word "jizz" in a post in days and days.

What? You didn't really expect a whole post of sincerity from me, did you?

32 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Squirl said...

I do remember going to all of these concerts. I think your memory of them is better than mine, though. Seems like it was sometime in the winter when we saw C&T. We had to see the Beach Boys. I'm glad I didn't miss that chance, what with all three brothers still alive at the time. Tom Waits definitely was different from the first two, though. I really enjoyed that show, too.

Even though you're the younger sister you've done a lot to influence my musical choices over the years. Sounds fair to me.

10:35 PM, October 15, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Yeah, well, you explained birth control to me in no uncertain terms, so it's the least I could do. ;)

10:37 PM, October 15, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Again, sounds fair to me. :-)

10:38 PM, October 15, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Aw. What a nice post. Until the end, I mean. Getting rid of excess things and stuff is liberating. Need to do some of that here, too.

11:10 PM, October 15, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie - you know I couldn't be nice all the way through. Well, I could be, but then people wouldn't know where they were.

And I just hate to start the cleaning, but once I'm into it, and I can see the shit disappearing from the room, it's allllll worth it.

11:47 PM, October 15, 2005  
Blogger Random and Odd said...

YOU TOSSED CONCERT TSHIRTS?

Dear Lord woman, have you not heard of Ebay?

You could make upwards of 40 bucks for those vintage t-shirts.

Oh wait...I don't think Captain and Tennille shirts go for THAT much.

;)

12:15 AM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger PlazaJen said...

Yeah, I've been experiencing some of those same pangs when cleaning -I hit the photos and the mementos and it's a giant mixed bag of emotions .... guess I had to hang on to them all this time (and PAY! to STORE them!) to reach the point I could finally throw them away..... Your first concerts were fun. My true real first-time ever concert was Erasure. Day of the concert, they opened up the orchestra pit & we were front row. Two girls & a sea of gay men....
good times.....

12:52 AM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

I have NONE of this stuff thanks to a psychotic ex boyfriend who burned my entire box of mementoes.
So now I have to reply on my fading memory...
what was I talking about anyway?
good stuff here, BFE

8:36 AM, October 16, 2005  
Anonymous dazed and confuzed said...

I'd totally pay $40 for a Captain and Tennille t-shirt. And I'd totally pay $40 if squirl would explain birth control to me in no uncertain terms, too. And I think I love Plazajen.

11:00 AM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

You mean you were just throwing your junk around in trashcans? And it felt good?

My first rock concert was a bizarre gift for my birthday -- Aldo Nova. At the time I had never even heard of them... and after the concert I still had never heard of them...!

Great post, Bucky!

11:09 AM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

My first live concert was The Monkees. Yeah, the first time around. Shut the fuck up.

I'm still just marvelling that you threw away 190 pounds of magazines. Impressive.

11:31 AM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Oh, Nilbo, I'm soooo jealous. I was probably 10 when they came to our town. My parents would never have let me go, but we were close enough to the fairground that I could have sat on the porch and listened. But, no, we had to go visit relatives that night. Just. not. fair.

11:42 AM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Nilbo, that is so wrong. And so clever! I'm all "190 pounds? Where'd he get that?"

2:12 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Kristine - you don't understand. These were weeeeeell worn. I was embarassed to take 'em to the laundromat, with the panty sniffers, much less put 'em on ebay! :)

PlazaJen - hey, I can think of worse scenarios. Unlike straight men, a gay man has never, ever made me cry (unless we're talkin' wardrobe critique).

Opera gal - that is just wrong. I say we find him, strip him, roll him in broken glass, then salt him thoroughly. I feel charitable.

Dazed - would it still be worth the $40 if the Captain was Cap'n Crunch?

Eclectic - Aldo Nova. I could never hear that name without thinking of Father Guido Sarducci on SNL, I guess because the actor's name was Don Novello. So, I don't even think of Aldo Nova when I hear "Aldo Nova."

Nilbo - oh, it's on. It's SO on.
You. Me. Kiddie pool full of shavin' cream.
Safety razors at ten paces, mister.

Squirl - oh, I'm soooo sorry. I didn't know Mom and Dad did that to you. That is so utterly cruel. And you had to miss the Monkees, too...

Susie - you will have to come referee my shaving-cream match with Nilbo. Just to make sure it's fair.

2:26 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much . . .

GAH!!!! I just watched a whole infomercial for '70s music. That was my day, the first music I bought, danced to, etc., and when confronted directly with it, I could only think, "Oh my gosh, '70s music SUCKED! And I loved it!" Some of those lyrics . . . what were we thinking? What the hell was it the decade of? And I'm not even talking about disco . . . ack ack I'm speechless. I shall resist purchasing the TIME-LIFE collection . . . for now.

Extra, extra, read all about it; wanted: young man single and free . . . experience in love preferred, but will accept a young trainee . . .


I heard my mama cry, I heard her pray the night Chicago died . . .

MAKE IT STOP!!!!

4:57 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie - all I can say is...
"Her name was Bertha. Bertha Butt. She's one of the Butt Sisters."

5:38 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

The 70s had some good music and some, well...

We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun..

You're havin' mah baby...

Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me...

5:53 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"Billy, don't be a hero"

"Crazy horses all got riders, and they're you and I"

"Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam, do the jitterbug out in Muskrat Land."

7:11 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"I went ridin' through the desert on a horse with no name, it felt good to be out of the rain."

"Ooooh, I hear laughter in the rain, walkin' hand in hand with the one I love"

7:19 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl...

Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married, just you wait and see...

Oh, I've got a brand new pair of roller skates, you've got a brand new key...

7:45 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

This thread is makin' me just a little sick to my stomach...but...

If you like pina coladas...

7:57 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

This has got to be my last one cuz I can't stomach it anymore.

Breaker one-nine this here's Rubber Duck, you got a copy on me Big Ben? come on come on....

8:04 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Come on back, Teddy Bear

8:05 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

If you got a problem, I don't care what it is . . . you need a hand, I can assure you this, I CAN HELP . . .
It would sure do me good, to do you good, lemme help . . .

8:17 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony....

Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs, blocking out the scenery, breaking my mind. Do this, don't do that, can't you read the signs?

Ben, the two of us need look no more...

You're too sweet, and innocent. But you're just, Oh, too young for me....

Aaaugh! It's an endless loop, but at least it's not..... my endless love.

9:13 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Rock me gently, rock me slowly. . .

Woman, take me in your arms, rock your baby

I could do this all night. No, that's not a lyric -- except that it probably is, somewhere.

9:26 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Late to the post, sorry, ..but I do love the Beach Boys. I still all of my concert tees except one which I think an ex-girlfriend has. Yes, I had girlfriends once upon a time.

9:29 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

A kind of sickness has taken hold here.

I like it. Please carry on.

Carry on, my wayward son...

9:59 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Mr. B - girlfriends would only cut in on your blogging time. Obviously, you have chosen wisely.

10:00 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

The Playground in My Mind . . .

OK, I had to go look at the carnage that was '70s music. Someone should write an opera of this stuff.

Don't give up on us baby, you can ring my bell. Oooh, child, things are gonna get easier.

Life is a rock, but the radio rolled me. You are a magnet and I am steel.

Come and get your love, but Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me . . ..

Good times (that was a TV show, but they had a song, too).

11:06 PM, October 16, 2005  
Blogger Annejelynn said...

how fun - I love digging around in old keepsakes - finding stuff that makes you sceam, "WHY THE F*** did I think this was important," along with the stuff that pulls at your heart and makes your chest hurt as you fight tears. I threw away a dozen or more t-shirts not too long ago, myself - took pictures of them before tossin' em. Ah, Memories... *sigh*

1:27 PM, October 17, 2005  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

I was about to start some shit about that Captain & Tennile thing until I saw the Tom Waits ticket stub. It was at that point I decided that I would just sit down and shut the fuck up. I'm doing that now.

7:07 PM, October 20, 2005  

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