Do I amuse you? Like a clown?

If anyone ever brings back the position of court jester, I'll be first in line to apply for the job.
I can't help it; I'm a smartass and the only cure is duct tape.

It delights me in a childlike (read: immature) way to make people laugh, especially at things we all know we shouldn't be laughin' at, but can't help it. If I can milk a situation for cheap laughs, you know I'll be grabbin' at the giggle teats like nobody's business. I know it makes me feel good to laugh, and I can only assume that's true for everyone else, too. Really, if I've made you laugh here, it's like we've had sex, and you sort of need to send me two dollars, lest my pimp catch on to all the freebies and rearrange my shit.

When I worked at 7-Eleven, there was an older gentleman who was a regular weekday mid-morning coffee achiever, and he was always particularly amused by my chatter behind the counter. He told me more than once that I should do stand-up comedy, and every single time, I would reply, "You think I'm funny standin' up? Hell, you should see me layin' down!" And every single time, he laughed his foolish ass off. Yeah, he was a pretty easy audience, so I wasn't gonna gauge my entertainment career prospects on his chuckles.

Stand-up comedy just wouldn't be a good gig for me (check out Amy for your stand-up comedy needs). I don't think I could do spoken comedy with the focus totally on me. I've done stage plays before, back in the dark ages, but that's different - there are usually other people onstage to deflect the focus (and I have since come to grips with the fact that I have zero talent as an actor and should not inflict my attempts upon the world again). Same with a band. I find karaoke much more intimidating than singing with a band onstage. Although karaoke is kinda scary, overall. But I just don't think I could memorize a comedy routine and carry it out with any freshness (I'd get that not-so-fresh feeling), and I don't think I could improvise with all eyes on me like that.

That's where the court jester gig comes in. That is my kind of live comedy. I could do that. The jester wanders through the crowd at a party, playing off the best snippets of conversation for maximum hilarity, face-to-face with the revelers, never staying in one knot of people long enough to become tiresome, encouraged to eat the party food and have a few drinks - that job description was tailor-made for me! I can't do it all when it comes to live yucks; I need to be able to play off what other people are saying. Anyone has the potential to play straight man to my jingle-hatted harlequin. I don't need much of an opening to walk through.

So...anybody need entertainment at your next banquet in the great hall? If you hear jingle jingle, that's me comin' down the hall. If you hear fwap fwap, it means I forgot to put on a bra.