the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Friday, December 16, 2005

Nothin' about anything

Laundromat 2
My beautiful laundrette


This is the laundromat where I buy all my Homies. I used to come here because they had Galaga, a video game which I can actually play for several levels before the unceremonious death of my fourth spaceship. Come for the Galaga, stay for the Homies. Yes, I absolutely refuse to grow up.

Is it possible to have a crush on a laundromat? Hell, yes! It's even possible to consummate your love if you can find a washing machine that is on uneven footing and is goin' through spin cycle. Just lean right in...Oh, stop lookin' at me like that. Like you've never humped an appliance.

You have, haven't you! And if you haven't, you've thought about it.

'Fess up. Tell me about your torrid affairs with household appliances. Ever touch the eggbeater in an impure manner? Ever covet thy neighbor's FloorMate? Fill my comments with your appliance fantasies and downright smut.

You know you want to.

29 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Jim said...

Forgive me Bucky, for I have sinned. I've had impure thoughts about the Kirby.

12:54 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

You are so so very wrong!

Can't say that I don't like it though...

4:04 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Oh, Jim. I used to know Kirby. He was HAWT.

7:47 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger AlRo said...

contrary to popular believe, sticking one's pecker in blender with a turkey-baster up yer butt is not all it's cracked up to me...

*sighs sadly and looks at his feet*

7:49 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger AlRo said...

Not that I have tried it or anything...

7:49 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger AlRo said...

it's just what i heard - you know.. someone say once.... before - long time ago.... way back when... when I uhh..... ya i wouldn't uhh...

*RUNS*

7:50 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger Mike said...

I can't honstly say that I have had impure thoughts about household appliances before, although I did once have a serious crush on a wet/dry shop vac. Most appliances just have a missing orifice somehow and the thought of putting my "stuff" so close to an appliance with a motor spinning at nearly the speed of Christ just leaves me limp somehow.

8:38 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

I always thought leaning against a slightly unbalanced washing machine was akin to those excercise machines from the old days. You know, you've seen 'em on I Love Lucy. They hook a strap around you and the machine is supposed to vibrate the fat off???

9:33 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger MilkMaid said...

Galaga ROCKS! And is so addicting. We had that on....not Atari, INTELLIVISION!!!

Is my hot tub an appliance? :)

10:20 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Bucky, sweetheart, your last couple of photos make me wonder if you're cracking up. Should we send someone?

11:11 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

First off, cool pick. Very cool.

Secondly, one post on salvation, the next on appliance affairs.

Lastly, yes, I will admit something I have never admitted before, Bucky, just for you. I have been having a, well, THING with my washer and dryer for YEARS now. Don't tell my husband, please... I just can't be without my washer and dryer. I'm drawn to it several times a week. I try to stay away from it, telling myself I'm NOT going near it. But then, well, the kids end up wearing their lunch or puking in the night... It seems the more I try to stay away, the longer I'm "involved". Then, I tell myself, I'm just going to do ONE load. That's it, but we both know better. Before I know it, several hours have passed and the only dirty laundry in the house is what is in use at the moment. Afterwards, I feel... well, really the only thing left for a married mother of three like me to do is quietly fold and put away the clean clothes, and tell myself *again* not to "go there" again... until the next time.

11:29 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger Spikey1 said...

Two words.. Central Vac! ;)

11:33 AM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

BFE - amazing how this post brought out more of your masculine posters!!
2- laundromats in the suburbs don't carry Homies. :( i guess i will never get to feel the joy.
milkmaid you just dated yourself!!!
remember playing TRON on Intellivision?

12:23 PM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Sure, Kelli's washer and ryer are good for several loads NOW. Talk to me in ten or fifteen years. Every cycle will take forever to finish and when it's all done, your junk is still wet and needing a bit more time.

2:25 PM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

I guess we don't need to talk about the jacuzzi tub, since it's really not, um, an appliance.
I'm just sayin', you know...for a friend.
I gotta go back to work now.

2:44 PM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger hellokittn said...

I once had a dream involving Colin Ferrel, a bushel of cucumbers, and a salad shooter.

I'll take that with ranch. Please.

6:47 PM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

*gets paranoid and checks curtains and blinds for cracks*

6:47 PM, December 17, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

Nilbo just cracked me up so much I forgot the witty and slightly off-color remark I was going to make.

12:30 AM, December 18, 2005  
Blogger greatwhitebear said...

I have never had a crush on ana appliance, but i have an ex gf who i am pretty sure was having and affair with my electric sander.... to this day it smells like the seafood section at Krogers.

7:51 AM, December 18, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Oh, you people are just wrong. And I like it.

Jim - at least you picked the Cadillac of appliances!

Kylz - It's my calling card. Wrongness.

Susie - we're not gonna have a catfight over Kirby, are we?

Alshrim - are you just expounding, you know, for a friend?

Mike - it's good to know you value your junk more than that. Best to love the shop vac from a chaste distance.

Squirl - trust me, it doesn't work, or I'd be the same size I was in high school.

MilkMaid - my two fave real arcade games were Galaga (though I preferred the sit-down version) and Tempest. If I had lots of money and space, I'd have both those machines running in my basement today.
And the hot tub is TOTALLY an appliance. I would mate with a hot tub if I had one.

Susie - bring the duct tape and plywood! I'm havin' a soul hurricane. ;)

CKelli - why do I have the intense desire to smoke and then take a shower after reading your comment?

Spikey1 - sexy AND convenient!

Opera gal - yeah, the guys seemed to respond to the charm of the appliances, huh? Sorry you can't get Homies there - get with me, I'll hook you up. And I think it's safe to say that several of us in here are of the Intellivision/Pat Benetar/Bangs-go-higher generation. Yes, Jim - I mean especially you.

Nilbo - now I'm just sad, thinkin' about that wet junk that never got enough time. I think I need a bloody mary and a valium...

M_D - oh, yeah, jacuzzi counts. Those jets are the next best thing to lifelong love.

KChia - is that anything like those salad-tossing dreams I keep having?

Mr. B - now, I didn't mean you specifically...
Yes, I did.

Eclectic - Nilbo had to go and drop the wet junk on us, didn't he?

Bear - okay, now, the dog is lookin' at me really, really funny 'cause I can't stop laughin' about this.
Put some lemon juice on it, dude...that's the best thing I can think of, short of keepin' it in the freezer.
Wow, electric sander, huh? That's like bein' licked by 1,000 cats at high speed, all at once.
Um, not that I would know.
Ahem.

8:46 AM, December 18, 2005  
Anonymous torrie said...

I have been known to hump my Kitchen Aid mixer.
And....
When we go to Home Depot I hump that dryer with the built in cabinet thingy.
Oh, how I love that dryer.

10:23 AM, December 18, 2005  
Blogger Jim said...

You mean especially me?!? I resent that! I don't DENY it, but I RESENT it.

11:00 AM, December 18, 2005  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I must confess that when I was a kid sitting on the vibrating clothes drying created some pleasant sensations below my waste. I have not tried that in 45 or so years. I wonder…

12:41 PM, December 18, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

I covet any Floormate that hasnt been sent flying down the basement steps by a huge puppy ass.

damn it.

5:01 PM, December 18, 2005  
Blogger Watermelon Man said...

Well, Bucky, your post reminded me of a hot, sultry summer afternoon many, many years ago. I was just minding my own business, reading a newspaper, waiting for my clothes to dry when I noticed a very attractive woman (who did not know that I was watching her)grind her ummm...her pelvis into a washing machine like there was no tomorrow.
It was, by far, the best thing that I have ever seen in a laundromat. I had forgotten all about it, thanks for helping me with a great memory retrieval.

1:48 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Mike said...

Great White Bear, that be some funny shit... I laughed for ten whole minutes...

4:08 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Kat said...

I have a paper towel holder that is very phallic and marble. It's chilly as hell in winter.

9:53 AM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger Annejelynn said...

I have impure thoughts about someday owning a Dyson

2:36 PM, December 19, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

One detail about the "Spin Cycle," it's especially "enjoyable," when it's spinning out an unbalanced load....

Bring me on homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

4:33 PM, December 19, 2005  

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