A few freaky factoids

I was tagged by Kylz to list ten Weird and Random facts about myself. Yeah, yeah, I'm supposed to put five new tag-ees at the end of my list, but I'm no good at that. Iffen you like the meme, go 'head and steal it. Iffen you don't, then go about your business and leave the bunnies alone.

Last summer, I posted my 100 Things About Me list, but I'm such a multifaceted bitch that there will always be new wrinkles to reveal, new stretchmarks to unveil...no, really, come back - I promise, no wrinkles or stretchmarks. But here's ten more stripes in my freak flag:

1. I really detest coconut. Put it on any food and it's ruint. Just ruint. It's like somebody sprinkled shredded plastic on my food, and all I can feel is little bits of plastic smegma in my teeth when I take a bite.
2. I crack my knuckles a lot. There. Just did it again. I find it hard to get a noise out of my pinkies with the regular crackin', so I snap those sideways.
3. The thought of bein' on a boat out so far in the water that I can't see land freaks the livin' shit outta me and makes my pucker clench involuntarily.
4. I will, however, get on an airplane without a second thought. Flying doesn't bother me at all. The airport pisses me off, but the flight itself is no biggie. I like to get there fast, wherever "there" is.
   
5. Why has no one invented chewing gum that's flavored like genital secretions? Okay, that's not really a fact about me, but don't you guys ever wonder that, too? You could have brands like Blo-Jizz and Pussy-Chew. Can you hear the jingles? Don't leave your Pussy-Chew on the bedpost overnight...
6. I like to cuddle. But don't you dare let that get around. If anyone asks, I'm still the same "acid-dipped, cast-iron bitch" I've always been (kudos to Jim for that very accurate description of me).
   
7. I am a cramper; the Cramps should be my favorite band. Toe cramps, foot cramps, leg cramps, hand cramps, shoulder cramps, neck cramps, girlie cramps - if it can cramp, it will cramp for me. That said, I'm sure it's highly entertaining to watch me drop stuff when my hand cramps up. As Eddie Murphy once said, Haha, very funny, motherfucker.
8. I don't just swear a lot when I write - I have a filthy mouth. Yes, I do kiss my mother with this mouth. But I don't say "Cocksucker!" when I'm kissing my mother. Well, not in anger.
9. Though I've played with plenty of BB guns, I have never fired a real gun. Now, for many of you in other countries, that's probably no big shock, and certainly not unusual. But in the USA? It's akin to saying, "I've never actually known all the words to Take Me Out to the Ballgame." Sure, it's possible...but people will look at you really, really funny.
10. When I was in college, I used to draw terribly unflattering caricatures of an accounting instructor I hated. But all these drawings were not in my notebooks. Some of them were on the margins of tests and papers I handed in to my favorite computer science instructor. Luckily, he appreciated the sentiment, and the pictures. He also liked the flow chart I gave him in COBOL class that had a picture of a man with ram's horns on his head and tassels on his nipples. Nothing says "A" student like titty tassels on a horny man. I still can't understand why I was never expelled.