Humpty dance (warning: incoherent)
What? I hear you gasp collectively, No hump day post?
Hey, remember those paper cuts I audioblogged about yesterday? Well, pal, I just ain't healed yet. Do I need to expound about the apercutspay on my abialay?
You know what kind of day it was?
My doctor didn't wanna see me naked. And I pay him.
The dog wouldn't kiss me until I ate some poop first.
I faked a headache to avoid masturbation.
Wait, do you think I could get Rodney Dangerfield's gig, now that he's not usin' it?
If you're all still speaking to me after this, I'll see ya 'round the burning bush.
Hey, remember those paper cuts I audioblogged about yesterday? Well, pal, I just ain't healed yet. Do I need to expound about the apercutspay on my abialay?
You know what kind of day it was?
My doctor didn't wanna see me naked. And I pay him.
The dog wouldn't kiss me until I ate some poop first.
I faked a headache to avoid masturbation.
Wait, do you think I could get Rodney Dangerfield's gig, now that he's not usin' it?
If you're all still speaking to me after this, I'll see ya 'round the burning bush.
Katy Barzedor proclaimed this to be so at 10:18 PM
14 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
Plus you're better'n Rodney because you don't sweat like a whore in church whenever you move.
I get apercutspay on my abialay all the TIME. Golly, that smarts.
Hope you heal quick, kid. If you need stitches, let me know - I have a Singer with zig-zag options.
First papercuts... now your bush is burning? Jay-zus, Bucky!! Take 'er easy for a day or so, huh?
Ok, good Rodney Dangerfield imitation, Bucky. Now do Bucky.
I'm thinkin' that you DO have a burning bush wif all doze apercutspay on your abialay.
Owie
But I'll meet ya there anyway.
I get a headache when I masterbate!
KChia - my eyes only bug out during masturbation.
Jim - Why did I know you'd be handy with the sewing machine? Can you put a few extra stitches in while you're at it?
Eclectic - mommy told me not to touch it but I did but I forgotted to put the Highlights magazine down first and it cutted me and I said, OW my lips is bleeding like a stuck monkey!
SS Nick - I faked the headache specifically so I wouldn't have to do Bucky. ;)
Michele in Mich - it's not so bad until I put the horseradish on.
JDR - heh heh thanks! Just don't tell me I do that - I think my feelings would be hurt.
Spikey1 - dude, don't yank so hard!
Burning Bush? You know, they make a cream for that...
HAPPY THURSDAY, UCKY-BAY!
Did Rodney ever say that??
Cuz I swear I heard his voice when reading the headache to avoid masterbation line...before I even read your reference to him.
Weird.
Booby is in the eye of the bediddler.
Here's a little ditty I heard when I was growing up that I think you might appreciate, Buckster.
Dooooooo your boobs hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie em in a knot?
Can you tie em in a bow?
Can you throw em over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Do your boobs hang low?
Faked a headache to avoid masturbation??? Hmmm....wish I'd thought of that...I think!
Yeah, well, you are in the blogger spotlight today, so bandage up those "abialays," pour some water on your burnin' bush, and take a bow, damn it!
And frankly, faking a headache to avoid "the Touch," well, that's just sad.
--Montana Anna
Dude...you're being showcased on the hottest new blog out there and you didn't shamelessly promote it?
bitch.
You're chapless ass is MINE!
No more PUNKS for you!
Man, I hate being so busy at work. Look how far behind I am in the blogs. I think you can quit faking the headache now.
Abialay? Curious spot for a papercut! Love the visual!
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