the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Humpty dance (warning: incoherent)

What? I hear you gasp collectively, No hump day post?

Hey, remember those paper cuts I audioblogged about yesterday? Well, pal, I just ain't healed yet. Do I need to expound about the apercutspay on my abialay?

You know what kind of day it was?

My doctor didn't wanna see me naked. And I pay him.

The dog wouldn't kiss me until I ate some poop first.

I faked a headache to avoid masturbation.

Wait, do you think I could get Rodney Dangerfield's gig, now that he's not usin' it?

If you're all still speaking to me after this, I'll see ya 'round the burning bush.

18 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger hellokittn said...

Don't worry sweetie, I faked during masturbation just to avoid the headache afterwords.

And you're better than Rodney baby! Your eyes don't bug out... and if they did, how would we know you spectacle laden hoodlum you!

11:28 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger Jim said...

Plus you're better'n Rodney because you don't sweat like a whore in church whenever you move.

I get apercutspay on my abialay all the TIME. Golly, that smarts.

Hope you heal quick, kid. If you need stitches, let me know - I have a Singer with zig-zag options.

11:39 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

First papercuts... now your bush is burning? Jay-zus, Bucky!! Take 'er easy for a day or so, huh?

11:54 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Ok, good Rodney Dangerfield imitation, Bucky. Now do Bucky.

11:55 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger Michele in Michigan said...

I'm thinkin' that you DO have a burning bush wif all doze apercutspay on your abialay.


But I'll meet ya there anyway.

2:55 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

I had to read that twice! You faked a headache to avoid masterbation? Gold Bucky. Pure gold!

7:15 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger Spikey1 said...

I get a headache when I masterbate!

8:39 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

KChia - my eyes only bug out during masturbation.

Jim - Why did I know you'd be handy with the sewing machine? Can you put a few extra stitches in while you're at it?

Eclectic - mommy told me not to touch it but I did but I forgotted to put the Highlights magazine down first and it cutted me and I said, OW my lips is bleeding like a stuck monkey!

SS Nick - I faked the headache specifically so I wouldn't have to do Bucky. ;)

Michele in Mich - it's not so bad until I put the horseradish on.

JDR - heh heh thanks! Just don't tell me I do that - I think my feelings would be hurt.

Spikey1 - dude, don't yank so hard!

8:46 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Burning Bush? You know, they make a cream for that...


9:05 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger hemlock said...

Did Rodney ever say that??

Cuz I swear I heard his voice when reading the headache to avoid masterbation line...before I even read your reference to him.


9:08 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger abcd said...

If you have a burning bush because of a yeast infection try some
Terconazole but you will need your
doctor to write a Rx. Or maybe
the bush is burning because well-
I can't type those words here.

Hope you feel better.


10:30 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger Girl.A said...

Booby is in the eye of the bediddler.

Here's a little ditty I heard when I was growing up that I think you might appreciate, Buckster.

Dooooooo your boobs hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie em in a knot?
Can you tie em in a bow?
Can you throw em over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Do your boobs hang low?

10:39 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger Horny Old Guy said...

Faked a headache to avoid masturbation??? Hmmm....wish I'd thought of that...I think!

10:56 AM, January 26, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, well, you are in the blogger spotlight today, so bandage up those "abialays," pour some water on your burnin' bush, and take a bow, damn it!
And frankly, faking a headache to avoid "the Touch," well, that's just sad.
--Montana Anna

11:11 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger Random and Odd said...'re being showcased on the hottest new blog out there and you didn't shamelessly promote it?


You're chapless ass is MINE!

No more PUNKS for you!

12:22 PM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

Man, I hate being so busy at work. Look how far behind I am in the blogs. I think you can quit faking the headache now.

4:50 PM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Abialay? Curious spot for a papercut! Love the visual!

11:27 PM, January 27, 2006  
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2:02 PM, November 08, 2006  

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