the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Righteous amidst the suds

You will all be jealous to know I went to the laundromat this afternoon. To my utter disappointment, there were no scary old men to stare at my underwear basket. I hardly know what to do with my free time at the laundromat now that my breaks aren't timed by how much of a cigar I can smoke before I have to throw this shit in the dryer.

However, I did see something that made my blood boil. There, before my four eyes, was such a blatant case of discrimination I was left speechless as I scrambled for my camera to document this glaring injustice.


No Flintstones on tables? Oh, I suppose it's just fine and dandy if you're squatty little Barney Rubble, huh? Outrageous!

They had it posted not once, not twice, but three times, and in different colors!


I saw the laundromat owner's wife tending to a machine on the other side of the room, so I marched right over there to give her a piece of my mind.

I might have said: "Listen, you Fred Flintstone-hatin' motherfucker, if your tables are too good for Fred's ass, then you can take all that change I spend in here, roll it, and shove it up your ass sideways."

But now that I think about it, what I really said was, "Could you give me a ten and two fives for this, please?"

Change happens slowly, Mr. Flintstone. Keep fightin' the good fight. Yabba Dabba fuckin' Doo, my brother.

addendum: Jim is convinced that this slur is directed against all cavemen, and not just Fred Flintstone. Do you think the folks at my laudromat have any connection to those Geico dudes?

17 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Susie said...

Those cocksuckers! (Been waiting for an appropriate occasion ;)
This is an outrage. What the hell are they thinking, posting "no Flintstones" on the tables?!

I say, Yabba dabba do!

10:00 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I don't want any damn cave man sticking his furry ass on my table either. Damn it. No furry bears for me thank you.

No, not even shaved ones.

10:00 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

*wonders if Flinstone Vitamins are allowed on the table*

10:00 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Opera Gal said...

just not the chewy ones, Mr. B

11:04 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Heh. Susie said "cocksuckers".

I hope you're proud of yourself, Ms Bucky Four-Eyes.

Susie said "cocksuckers".

I await the Rapture.

11:15 PM, August 02, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Golly, that looks like Fred Flintstone on those posters, but with white hair!

I think it's a laundromat see, I took 4 years of Laundromat in high school and this translates to "No pre-historic lifting your left leg and shitting on the table" but you were close.

11:38 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger greatwhitebear said...

As a hairy assed man, I can't begin to tell you how offended I am at this outrage! Will they allowed to discriminate against Fred just because of his furry ass? I am sure that all the other members of H.A.M. will agree with me that a laundrimat boycott is in order. Once we've gone a couple of months without washing our laundry, I'm sure the stench will force the laundry industry to it's senses.

Oh yeah.. Is Jim excited that the Wings signed Yzerman?

12:37 AM, August 03, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

Hold on now, everyone. It may be even more sinister that that. Notice how no mention of Wilma or Betty was made? I wanna know what they did with Wilma and Betty, those "cocksuckers!" (as Susie would say.)

2:09 AM, August 03, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

*cocksuckers good, chewy vitamins bad*


6:37 AM, August 03, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

As always, I think the Fred Flintstone lobby is up in arms about nothing. It's always the same with them: "No discrimination against Fred Flintstones!" they scream. "Fred Flintstones should be allowed to marry!" "No more Fred Flintstone bashing!" "We're here, we're Fred Flintstone, get used to it!"

I think businesses should be allowed to make their own choice as to whether or not they allow Fred Flintstones the same rights as other customers. If their Fred Flintstone customers don't like it, they are free to take their business elsewhere.

Whether or not you are Fred Flintstone in your own house, with a ten-mile long livingroom (sofa-chair-picture-sofa-chair -picture-sofa-chair-picture-DINO), you don't need to flaunt your being Fred Flintstone out in public.

8:05 AM, August 03, 2005  
Blogger Opera Gal said...

susie - you skeered me for a moment there! hee hee!

mr.b - i think those 2 sentiments are rules to live by.

gwb- can you just imagine if they DIDN'T sign Yzerman? Ticket sakes = 0. He may not play many games this year, but no Stevie = no fans.

nils - I used to do animation, and thats the industry inside joke for cheap animation - chair,sofa picture, indeed!) (grins)

8:14 AM, August 03, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

I love this place. You people crack my hairy Flintstone ass UP. Well, not exactly, but you know what I'm sayin' . . .

8:40 AM, August 03, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Susie - Sometimes ya just gotta say "cocksucker." Personally, I like to say it over and over and over and over...I'm not welcome in church anymore, by the way.

Mr. B - I never figgered you to be so closed-minded. It makes me weep for you and for the innocent cavemen with their likenesses on our vitamins. Yes, it's OK for our children to SWALLOW a caveman, but don't let him sit on the laundry table.

Opera gal - I saw your chewy ones comment out of context and thought "What the fuck, opera?"

Nilbo - you're sayin' bein' here isn't Rapture enought?

Dazed - aha! Glad I have you to help me decipher these here hieroglyphics. I feel smarter already. But I'm so sorry I took a dump on the folding table now.

Bear - You can sit your hairy ass on my folding table anytime. And yes, Jim is pretty stoked about Stevie bein' signed. He seems so much more...alive now that he knows there will be NHL this season.

Eclectic - it's my theory that Wilma and Betty are being held in the back room of the laundromat and forced to perform dry cleaning duties. At night, they do stag parties.

Mr. B - good to see you have your priorities straight.

Nilbo - so, it's alright for you to drive around in your car, but let someone's feet dangle out from their floorboards and you're ready to shit broken glass? I will not rest until Fred Flintstones can enjoy all the rights of society that people like you and me take for granted. I pray for your mind to open, brother.

Opera gal - Ooooh, we wanna hear more about the animation gig!

Susie - You're a Fred Flintstone? I never would've guessed. Are you coming out of the cave, right here on the Cotillion.

And no, no one should infer that I am a latent Fred Flintstone, just because my middle name is Caverna. Pure coincidence. No, really.

9:02 AM, August 03, 2005  
Blogger said...

Bucky, Here is your oppertunity in life. There is a laundromat for sale in Otisville at this very moment. They keep dropping the price every month cause it is not selling. You could open an all inclusive laundromat. No longer would Flintstones get excluded. They too could be a part of snooping through your underwear basket. Think about it Bucky, only 1/2 hour drive to Paradise. To an all inclusive utopia of thong underwear and wife beater tanks. White trash mecca could be yours. You would have to remove their sign from the window that says "No Horse Blankets" though.

9:38 AM, August 03, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Jeff's place - be still, my beating heart! Otisville, huh? I used to spend many of my Sunday evenings at the bar in the Otisville Hotel when Blue Steel (later Buick City Blues Band) used to play the Sunday night gig there every week. If only I could remember it all better...

10:19 AM, August 03, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

I say just Yabba dabba do it!

10:58 AM, August 03, 2005  
Blogger Maven said...

Well therein is the loop-hole! If it is against all cave MEN, then I'm going on a hunch that any Neanderthals that have hooters 'n uters, CAN sit on the tables!

It's a good thing they didn't have photo of a pair of ass-less chaps with a big red line thru it posted through-out! Perhaps next trip to the Laundromat, you can sport your chaps... and if confronted, you can say that the signs should be a bit more SPECIFIC!

11:42 AM, August 03, 2005  

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