the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Friday, May 06, 2005

In self defense


Beware the banjo!

Since my lovely (read, soooo gonna get smacked) brother Tardist posted this on his site, I thought I would just go ahead and show you guys before you were told about this by someone else.

I'm thinkin' I was about 4 here, and I need to inform you that I was the Hooded Claw (the villain who was the bane of Penelope Pitstop of Wacky Races fame). Of course I would pick a villain to emulate. Did you really think I was gonna be Penelope Pitstop?

And the banjo? Let's just say it was the Banjo of Death. And if you'd heard me play it, you wouldn't have to ask why.

Rebel, on the other hand, is only chewin' on my cape until he can get 'hold of some of my jammies and tear the crotch out.

Anybody ever wonder why my parents didn't let 'em drown me in the baptismal font?

26 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Snickrsnack Katie said...

Rebel is awesome. My dog used to hang onto my bathrobe when I was a kid. She never ate my jammies crotches, though. She liked to get into the used Maxi-pads, though. What a lesbian.

11:20 AM, May 06, 2005  
Anonymous Dazed & Confuzed said...

Yeah, well, don't underplay the "Banjo of Death" too much, Bucky. My grandfather was banjoed once when he was in his late 30's and ever since then he wasn't able to have children. I heard of a fellow in Las Vegas who got banjoed and as a result had to spend the night at Siegfried and Roy's house. So it can be pretty dangerous! I'm surprised your folks let you walk around with something like that.

11:24 AM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Random and Odd said...

why why why? WHY do dogs do that?

I have NO undies anymore.

Yes...I guess that makes me pantieless.

11:27 AM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Katie - Ya gotta watch those lesbo dogs. Even they have a Gay Agenda (see Dazed's comment in the last post for a great link).

Dazed - I keep the banjo locked up inside a locked box inside a locked safe in the basement, under a blanket. I don't ever want to be accused of being an irresponsible banjo owner.

Kristine - Isn't it the law that one must blog while pantieless? Or have I been led astray?

11:44 AM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

I have always loved this picture. You did way more with costumes that any of us ever did.

11:53 AM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

You see why I need Opera gal to make me costumes?

11:55 AM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Snickrsnack Katie said...

Check out Dooce's site. She mentioned that she will miss your assless chap stories, BFE. Let's hope that someday we will be able to hear tales of your assless chaps once again on dooce.com.

LESBO DOGS UNITE!

12:15 PM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Katie, my assless chaps will miss being discussed at Dooce's place. However, they will not be kept silent. I shall instead allow them to express themselves here for now.

Oh, and I think the lesbo dogs are already united. But much easier to separate than a male and a female, I think...

12:33 PM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Snickrsnack Katie said...

When I was a kid, I saw a boy dog and a girl dog stuck together in mid-copulation. I guess he got all swollen and wouldn't come out. It was quite distressing for a little kid to see.

What kind of assless chaps are you sporting today? I like your diamond studded assless chaps, offset by your flashing butt plug, personally.

12:42 PM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger spoonleg said...

You totally have a cape fetish, buckster.

12:52 PM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Amy said...

I love your shiny bangs and cape.

And I had this dog Sandy who used to chew on the crotches of our underwear like they were made of meat. Weird.

1:19 PM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

re: dooce. do i detect mrs. hamilton passing the buck to the buckster, as it were? You may become the new comment queen, and if so...you cape will read "Comment Queen" on the back, plus any other subtitle listers can come up with. ;)

2:30 PM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Snickrsnack Katie said...

I think Bucky would be the perfect Comment Queen. And she won't mind if we talk about tits and ass and huge bottles of A1.

Or POOP!!!

3:56 PM, May 06, 2005  
Anonymous La Pix said...

Hey Bucky, I've been listening to a lot of banjo music lately. Iron & Wine is laced with the most beautiful banjo... an unusual use of it too.

The Cold Mountain soundtrack also has some great historic (historic sounding anyway) folk tracks with some gorgeous-ass-less-chap banjos on it too.

Cool that Dooce mentioned your ass-less chaps. I think I'm actually glad that the comments are gone. I noticed that they've all been deleted, all the way back to the beginning in September. I don't think they've ever done that before, gone all the way back and deleted them.

I think as a website, Dooce is better without the comments. The last few months have been too much like an IM logfile. The contents of which are not really the same caliber as the rest of the site.

Take your comments, for example, they are a great companion to the posts and a tribute to your writing and your style.

I almost think when you get that famous, such an equilibrium goes to shite.

So, long live BuckyFourEyes and her scintillating and pithy comments section, of which this is not one.

5:26 PM, May 06, 2005  
Anonymous La Pix said...

(meaning my comment was not scintillating nor pithy)

5:28 PM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Dang Cold.. said...

I'm was in a rotten, pithy kinda mood today myself but Bucky's pic makes me perk up a bit. Have a nice weekend y'all.

dc

6:10 PM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

For your information, Spoonie, I do not have a cape fetish. I do have a banjo fetish, though.

I don't know if I wanna be Queen of anything, 'cause I'm pretty sure they make queens wear dresses, big, poufy dresses which I would rather die of fleabites than wear.

And, considering how much I haunted/abused the Dooce comment section while it was there, people gave me surprisingly little shit, and for that, and for the cameraderie I found there, I thank you all. Could that sentence be a little longer and a bit more convoluted?

And La Pix, you're always scintillating and pithy. Ya just can't help yourself.

So, if you can stand blogger comments, come scream here if you want. All topics welcome, except for Beanie Babies. I have to draw the line somewhere.

Oh, and the assless chaps of the day are plum-colored gauze with argyle socks. The flashing butt plug is in the shop.

8:08 PM, May 06, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

di na neener neerner neener nurrr... so lovin on the banjo!

la pix - it's odd to see Iron & Wine mentioned here - I just saw them in concert not so long ago. Thier use of just about any type of instrument was way different than I have seen from any band carrying the same genre. The fact the lead singer snuck "fuck the man" into a purely spritual song - i don't know but I think my panties were bursting with fruit flavor at that point.

1:17 AM, May 07, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

ok, Blogger sucks.
BFE - o ye of little faith - "Queen costume" does not always mean Gilda the good with, y'know.

i agree with the "surprisingly little shit" comment. at first people gave me a hard time, and then I figured out the dynamic and just didn't go down "provocation road". luckily you let everyone do that here - I am much more open here than elsewhere.

Squirl - this has more to do with an email you sent me, but I wish you lived here, you and your hubby could have had free tickets to the Symphony. For 4 days, I coudn't get anyone to take them.:( goofballs.

7:18 AM, May 07, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Thanks, Opera, I do love the symphony. We live right downtown so all the venues are pretty close. I just never want to spend the money or time seeing the people who come to the VanAndel which is only a couple of blocks away. You'd think someone my age would love to see Cher or Phil Collins. But Ichabod and I will walk five times as far to go to the DeVos Hall where they do symphonies and operas. There's nothing like being in the same room with that magnificent sound. Thanks

7:54 AM, May 07, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

dan'lalang tang tang tang tang tang tannngggg
dan'lalang tang tang tang tang tang tannngggg

THAT, my dear, is a little "Dueling Banjos" for your fetish listening pleasure:)

8:41 AM, May 07, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

Superhero costumes, just for Bucky:
http://swapatorium.blogspot.com/2004/09/found-art-superheroes.html

9:13 AM, May 07, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

shit.
Superhero 'stumes

9:13 AM, May 07, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

ok, i suck and so does Blogger:
last time, i promise, dammit.
stumes

9:15 AM, May 07, 2005  
Anonymous POKEY said...

Anybody seen Flanella Jo?

My favorite club has closed:(
They don't allow my KIND just anywhere. Now where will I meet ladies? THIS is getting uncomfortable...

POKEY

12:25 PM, May 07, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Susie, you had Ichabod and me doing dueling whistles this morning. Of course, I had to quit when it got to the fast part. :-)

4:24 PM, May 07, 2005  

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