Lazy Bucky's quickies
How I was awoken this morning:
Jim: (frantically) Baby, wake up, neither of us set an alarm and it's 5:30! (He will be very, very late)
Me: (rudely awakened and not happy) Aw, shit.
About a minute passes, the self-test on my brain ends, and I regain full thought capacity.
Me: Hey! It's Saturday!
Jim: (from the bathroom, after a considerable pause) Shit.
Cue the laughter of two people who suddenly realize what retards they are.
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No matter how old I get, I will never not giggle when I ask the young man at Arby's drive-through window for extra Horsie Sauce.
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It appears that Dooce comments are a thing of the past now. 'Tis through that unique forum that I know the majority of you who come here to see what weird shit I'm up to, so I'm glad it lasted as long as it did. Also, and I said this earlier in my own comments, I am amazed and grateful that no one ever really gave me any serious shit while I was in there. I mean, really, as often as I commented, and as useless as a lot of my little outbursts were, nobody ever came hatin' on me. Shocking, when you think about it. So thanks. Many thanks also to Heather, for lettin' me run around with my monkey out in her virtual house.
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Did I mention we got our couch? Yes, the one for which we braved squashed hygiene products to shop. It's black leather, has dual recliners, and quite simply kicks ass. My old recliner now belongs to bad dog Snickers, and before you say it, yes, I'm fully aware that I have one fuckin' spoiled rotten dog. You think I'd have it any other way?
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Finally, a happy Mother's Day to all the Mothers who visit me here. You know who you are. And I don't mean the Mothers of Invention.
Jim: (frantically) Baby, wake up, neither of us set an alarm and it's 5:30! (He will be very, very late)
Me: (rudely awakened and not happy) Aw, shit.
About a minute passes, the self-test on my brain ends, and I regain full thought capacity.
Me: Hey! It's Saturday!
Jim: (from the bathroom, after a considerable pause) Shit.
Cue the laughter of two people who suddenly realize what retards they are.
*****************************
No matter how old I get, I will never not giggle when I ask the young man at Arby's drive-through window for extra Horsie Sauce.
*****************************
It appears that Dooce comments are a thing of the past now. 'Tis through that unique forum that I know the majority of you who come here to see what weird shit I'm up to, so I'm glad it lasted as long as it did. Also, and I said this earlier in my own comments, I am amazed and grateful that no one ever really gave me any serious shit while I was in there. I mean, really, as often as I commented, and as useless as a lot of my little outbursts were, nobody ever came hatin' on me. Shocking, when you think about it. So thanks. Many thanks also to Heather, for lettin' me run around with my monkey out in her virtual house.
******************************
Did I mention we got our couch? Yes, the one for which we braved squashed hygiene products to shop. It's black leather, has dual recliners, and quite simply kicks ass. My old recliner now belongs to bad dog Snickers, and before you say it, yes, I'm fully aware that I have one fuckin' spoiled rotten dog. You think I'd have it any other way?
******************************
Finally, a happy Mother's Day to all the Mothers who visit me here. You know who you are. And I don't mean the Mothers of Invention.
Katy Barzedor proclaimed this to be so at 9:00 PM
14 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
I love those moments when you think it is time to get up, or that you are really late for work, and you realize it is Saturday. It is so beautiful when you come to the realization.
I am also glad that we had Dooce's comments for as long as we did. You are lucky that no one ever came hatin' on your ass. Alas, I was one of the main targets for the ass trolls. I better get rid of my assless chaps with the big red bullseye hanging off the back.
I am so glad I met you on Dooce's forum. I don't know what my days would be like without being regaled with stories of flashing butt plugs. You are awesome, Buckster.
I got your extra Horsie Sauce!
POKEY
I used to work for Arby's. I've supplied MANY a lady with the aforementioned sauce. Men too, but only when I wasn't on duty. Ah, good times.
I once worked at Arby's and because there is Arby's sauce and Horsie sauce, I got them mixed up and offered the customer Arsey sauce! Very funny, but also embarassing at the time.
huh huh huh...you said "arsey" sauce.
yeah, BFE I was just sorta reflecting on that this AM - I've been up since 6AM, since the CAT seems to think I should get up according to HIS schedule. (I'm going to go poke him awake in a minute)
6 months ago I didn't know a lot of you folks, and now, it really is like a small community - I hope we all work at staying in touch, now that Dooce's comments are closed.
I died laughing at the first quip. Too funny. Something somewhat similar happened to me and a friend of mine last Thursday morning. We were finishing a cigarette outside the school building, ready to enter the back door. Its an automatic door, stand on the thing and it opens. Like a grocery store. So, we're standing on it, and nothing is happening. We back off, and go for it again. Nothing. We're like WTF? We jump on it. Really. Then we notice a big sign. 'rear entrance closed, use front entrance'. Right at eye level, plain as day. You'd think 2 law students in their third year would notice something like that before jumping on the open the door thing. Geesh
I too am grateful for the connections we have all made through Dooce.
I LOVE BUCKY and her assless chapped hide.
Alright, I need to get to the BOTTOM of something, here. Bucky, aren't ALL chaps ASS-LESS chaps? Isn't that what makes them chaps, and not pants? I'm not certain, but I'm thinking that ASS-LESS chaps is redundant. Anyone?
Susie, this one's for you.
chaps [ chaps, shaps ]
plural noun
protective leather leggings: protective leather leggings, like a pair of pants with no seat or crotch, worn on horseback over ordinary pants by ranch workers, rodeo contestants, and cowboys
[Late 19th century. Shortening of chaparejos , an alteration (probably influenced by Spanish aparejo “equipment”) of chaparreras , from chaparra (see chaparral); because chaps were worn when riding through chaparral.]
Bucky no one ever gave you shit because they were afraid, very afraid. I wouldnt put it past you to lube a feather someone, just for shits and giggles.
I figure it's more time for us to vistit each others blogs anyway. Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me of the strawberry tampon.
the former costumer weighs in - yes, chaps are USUALLY ass-less, but they can and have been made in a version that covers more, and would basically be split up the center, but not carved out through the ass.
Ms. Strizz - will visit.
BTW - I may need a bodyguard folks, it looks as though I have an opera stalker again...sigh.
I'll never go to Arby's again without thinking of you.
That's it. From now on, I'm orderin' the Arsey Sauce at Arby's. Or I guess I could just make it at home.
Pokey, maybe you and Dazed should meet up. Might be some good sauce swappin' potential there. Just don't traumatize Metro if you see him at the drive-through.
Nice to have the scoop on assless chaps. Actually, Jim and I had the very same conversation the other day "Aren't ALL chaps assless?" Now I know, and I can sleep better for it.
Guys, it really is nice that I "know" all of you now. I can't imagine life now without bloggin' and bloggers. Some of you will get me into bigger trouble than other, but I love y'all!
Oh, and Strizz - does this put you in the mood for strawberry tarts?
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