the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Monday, January 30, 2006

Angering the laundry gods

Stormy
View from the laundromat, where it rained like a bitch all day on Sunday. Rained. At the end of January in Michigan. I should have taken it as a sign that shit would be weird.

It's been a while since I've injured myself and shown you the carnage, hasn't it?

Just yesterday afternoon, I found something more dangerous than a Milkbone, deadlier than a box spring, more treacherous than a door frame: the common and unassuming plastic laundry basket.

Didn't I tell you laundry would be the death of me?

I meant that basket no harm; all I wanted was to stuff it full of my data-stained clothing. Okay, maybe I was a little rough with it. But that's neither here nor there. All I know is, I thrust my hand in with great enthusiasm and a pair of lightly used undergarments, and the beastly basket chomped into the nail on my right ring finger.

See?

Laundry injury

Pretty impressive, huh? Did I whimper, did I whine, did my clothes come off the line? Hell no! Well, really, they were never technically "on the line" but you see what I'm gettin' at. I persevered - I played hurt. I didn't even call in sick today.

Now I'm tagging myself - very carefully, because my finger is so seriously injured - with a meme I saw at Susie's Biscuit Emporium.


Five guilty pleasures

1. General Hospital.
Hands down, my biggest, guiltiest pleasure. I used to watch it in high school (yes, I'm old enough that Luke and Laura's heyday was when I was in high school), and then dropped it for years. A couple of years ago, I decided to start watching it so I would have more to talk about with my mom; really, it was an effort to steer her from politics, because - wow! She gets agitated. So, here I am, just watching so I can talk soap talk with Mom. That's all it was.

Until we went on vacation and I had to choose between taping General Hospital or Jeopardy! during Ken Jennings' run. And I chose GH. Then I knew it was more than just a mother-bonding exercise...it was an addiction.

So forgive me if I know a little too much about the Quartermaine family tree, or if I have an opinion about which Carly is the Carlyest Carly that ever was Carly. Avert your eyes and let me have my daily hour of slack-jawed disbelief suspension.

2. Musicals.
I love musicals. Not just rock musicals, either. If you looked in my collection, you might see Man of La Mancha, or Sweet Charity. You know, the musicals that are old like me. With very little prompting, I can still sing along to much of Fiddler on the Roof, or Sound of Music.

Given my choice between being a rock star or a Broadway star, I'd have to go with my childhood passion and say Broadway star.

No, wait, scratch that. I just remembered how much ass rock stars get. But I still like musicals.

3. Pizza.
Cheese is on my list of migraine triggers, but damn - could you live forever without pizza? If you could, then let's trade tastebuds. I love pizza. And it doesn't have to be "good" pizza either; in fact, I prefer not to eat pizza from the places that load the pizzas up so heavily with cheese and toppings that it takes a crane to move the fucker. I have no problem stuffin' my face with the hot n' ready pizzas Little Caesar's has just waiting for me.

Damn, now I want some pizza.

4. Hip hop/all age-inappropriate music.
It's true. I am a white, middle-aged woman who listens to hip hop and other "young people" music very loudly in my car. To be fair, I do not attempt to adopt hip hop slang or fashion, unless I find an easy opportunity to make someone cringe, then I will totally say things like "That briefcase is fly, baby!" Do the kids say "fly" anymore?

I'm pretty sure at this stage of my life I'm supposed to be settling into a diet of blues lite and soft classic rock. I should be driving to PTA meetings and listening to Air Supply, not some unholy one-two punch of Rob Zombie and LL Cool J. This can all be traced back to the day I removed that maturity chip someone implanted as I slept.

5. This blog.
Yes, I'll be a copycat on Susie with this one. But I would definitely call this a huge guilty pleasure. It's quite true I've completely ignored playing or writing music since I started this blog, but it's such a great creative outlet in so many ways. I can write, or take pictures, or take and tweak pictures, or make Play-Doh tallywhackers, and I get feedback! Instant feedback! I could easily have a Master's degree if I'd taken all my blogging time and applied it instead to grad studies.


But then again, I wouldn't have set up shop in the most awesome neighborhood in Blogsylvania if I'd done that. I'd just be some dickwad with an MBA.

So maybe I don't feel guilty at all.


ps: Did I mention my finger really really hurts?

34 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Awwwww, poor Bucky. You are such a little trooper, you know, what with writing a post for your adoring public with an injured digit. You're an inspiration to us all...

9:16 PM, January 30, 2006  
Anonymous kalki said...

I'd totally kiss your boo-boo but I'm not sure what that might lead to. Or, in fact, what you'd try to pass off as your "boo-boo."

(Big hug to you.)

9:34 PM, January 30, 2006  
Anonymous Mark W. said...

Hang in there.

9:48 PM, January 30, 2006  
Blogger Jim said...

Wow. Does that finger hurt?

I was in high school during the Luke and Laura days and I never EVER watched it (I think you and I are exactly the same age, give or take 5 minutes).

You can't have a lot of melted cheese on stuff? Oh damn, Bucky, that makes me feel worse than the finger.

9:50 PM, January 30, 2006  
Blogger Effie said...

we can kiss your finger better ONLY if you DON'T tell us where it's been, OK?
Hey--your typing is still pretty good with an injured fingy!

Love the list...maybe I'll have to do it too...life without cheese is not worth living--at least on pizza, or maybe lasagna....mmm cheese...

*Singing* "Somewhere in my wicked, miserable life, I must have done a morsel of good...."

9:57 PM, January 30, 2006  
Blogger whfropera said...

i have a masters degree and its way overrated - i say cheese and GH for everyone in the room! and beer. microbrew, to be more specific.
LL Cool J - not so much
Public Enemy - oh yeah. and I don't care if they are "old School" they can still kick everyone's ass.

9:59 PM, January 30, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Ok, I give ya the pizza and blogging. But you put the words "hip hop" in the same sentence wtih "pleasure"?

Is it too late for a recount?

You gonna eat that last slice of pepperoni?

10:20 PM, January 30, 2006  
Anonymous spamboylouie said...

poor baby
"oh, the horror, the horror"
seeing your horribly maimed digit, the clammy sweat, the heat, the stink of the jungle decends around me , (southeast asia wargames, 70-71. second place!!!)
"what are we gonna do lieutenant?"
"yeah lieutenant man, what are we gonna do?"
"we're gonna surround the little bastards on three sides, and we're gonna ki,,,,ki,,,,ki,,,"
"what'd he say? we're gonna ki,,,ki?" (everybody chants)
WE'RE GONNA KI,,,,KI,,,,KI.... oh, no wait a minute,,, that wasn't from viet nam, that was from either a cheech n chong album, or from the Firesign theatre album, "don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliars"...
ok never mind, get well soon

P.S. take that stinkin laundry basket up in the chopper, and toss it out when you hit 800 feet..ok i'm still a little freaked

10:48 PM, January 30, 2006  
Anonymous Proprietess, Susie's Biscuit Emporium said...

You are reversing the universal truth that sex is like pizza. You're saying, if I'm with you here, that pizza is like sex. That is, even when it's bad, it's pretty good. Damn, now I want some, too :p

I am so down wit you on #4. And it's pathetic. But I think I'll be that way until I'm very old, with hip replacements and whatnot, you know'm sayin'?

11:11 PM, January 30, 2006  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Damn, Bucky, I’d shred that nail-chomping basket! Of course, it would probably fight back and chomp off a couple of more finger nails. BTW, I avoid Laundromats; I have the washer and dryer that came with my house in my house and an older—and much better—set from my last house stored in my mother’s basement.

Of your “guilty pleasures,” I’ll confess to musicals, pizza, and blogging—but, as you hint and as I suspect of you, I don’t feel guilty about any of those pleasures. As for hip hop, it drives me insane. Of course, part of that is because I am continually driving these young dudes and dudettes around and they keep my car’s stereo on that shit. If I put on the soundtrack to, oh, “The King and I,” they’d probably jump out of my car. (This, come to think of it, might not be so bad).

11:21 PM, January 30, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

I feel pretty, oh so pretty...as I sing my extremely white ass along with "Gold Digger".
Um, yeah.
I have never in my life said "fly" except to refer to what I do in a plane, but yeah. I can speak Fizzle if I have to.
Heh.
Thank god nobody's tagged me with a maturity chip yet, because "99 Problems" goes so well next to "Superbeast".
Especially when dropping the kid off at school.

12:05 AM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Mike said...

If I were you I would have that finger looked at by a professional. Maybe you should have called 911. I would have.

I hear a lot of people my age complaining about their kids listening to rap and hip hop. While I might not be crazy about either, I just can't say anything bad about it because every time I open my mouth to say it, I can hear my father complaining about that "damned hippie music", and the words just won't come out.

8:06 AM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger MilkMaid said...

Damaged digits, displayed.

Broadway star wanna be.

Soap Opera fanantic.

Funny as hell.

Are you Rosie O'Donnell's sister?

9:14 AM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

CKelli - *sob* I manage to endure...
*lip quivers bravely*

Kalki - thank you, and I promise to keep my "boo-boo" to myself.
This time.

Mark - thanks!

Jim - yeah, I think we were in the stork's warehouse at the same time. Because I'm sure that's how we were born. Our mothers never had sex with anyone, right?

Effie - oh, trust me - you really DON'T wanna know where that finger has been. You are wise beyond your years.

Opera gal - hey, I won't knock you for "old school" - I will still totally listen to Sugar Hill Gang.

Mr. B - ha! I did actually break down and go get pizza after I wrote this.
And there was one slice of pepperoni left.
Should I mail it to you?

Spamboylouie - heh heh, you said "Firesign Theatre"...I can't believe my brother didn't pop his head in here at the mention.
Gotta return for regrooving, man...

Proprietess Susie - word.
And who all are you engaged to, anyway?

SS Nick - I think you're on to something. Fire up "The King and I" or "South Pacific" and insist your passengers join you in singing along. You will either have new fans of Broadway tunes, or you will have your car to yourself suddenly.
Either way doesn't sound like a bad deal...
I say, your car, your tunes. Period. YOU are doing people favors all the time; don't let them dictate what the soundtrack should be.

Madame D - oh, if I had kids, they would likely make me drop them off a block from school, so their friends wouldn't see crazy mom sing along with Marilyn Manson.

Mike - exactly! I refuse to let myself creep into that area of old fartdom, and therefore, will always try to have at least an awareness and tolerance of popular music, if not always an appreciation.

MilkMaid - did you just call Squirl Rosie O'Donnell?

11:09 AM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger hellokittn said...

*smoochies* there, that was for your poor finner :P.

11:10 AM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

Well, since you asked, I am engaged to Circus Kelli, and to you, and to one other person, whom I just can't remember. Ya think maybe that marriage wouldn't work out anyway? Yea, maybe I'll just break that engagement and look for someone else. I do like to be engaged to at least 3 people at all times :) (Oh, and the fact that you and Squirl adopted me has no bearing on our engagement; I'm Hillbillian, remember.)

12:11 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Effie said...

Oh my Susie's one BUSY lady---engaged to SO many people...I wonder what Jif thinks...

12:50 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Effie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:50 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger sullen girl said...

January in Michigan... blech! So don't miss that (not that it's much better in Indiana!)

Love to your finger, musicals, age-inappropriate music, pizza and blogging... no love for the soaps though. I am a recovering Days of Our Lives addict from way back. I never want to go there again. I've filled that void in with reality tv ;)

1:15 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Holy crap! There's my EPS kicking in. It usually only works for lost items...that last slice must have felt...lost.

2:07 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger hemlock said...

I have a secret for you...

The guy who plays Dr. Steven Weber?? Yeah, I know him. (um...I kinda knew him)

Oh yeah.

2:17 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Chia - my owie finger thanks you!

Susie - well, you might just as well be engaged to Squirl too, then. As long as we're all Southern and stuff.

Effie - I think Jif is too preoccupied with his PENS to notice.

Sullen Girl - did you have to get any counseling to break the demon grip of DOOL?

Mr. B - the pizza was crying out for you; it was very sad.

LeafGirl - cool! Whatever happened to the character? He was this big deal for a while, they even put him in the opening sequence, and then one day, no explation - gone! No more Steven Webber. Whassup with that?

2:45 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

TKW - I think this is the perfect opportunity for me to swear off doing my own laundry. My insurance just won't cover this kind of danger!

2:46 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger The Kept Woman said...

Sorry to see that your laundry basket was feeling fiesty. I knew there was a good reason not to do housework...dangerous...

2:46 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

And even though I posted AFTER I saw TKW's comment here, my answer to her still appears above hers.

That freaks me the fuck out, maaaaan!

2:47 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger crabcake said...

Ok. I have to know....which Carly? I haven't watch for a few years but I have to start again now that I heard they're not only bringing Robert back but Anna too. (sorry guys but Bucky did start it. LOL)

I have a damaged finger to show you too. I'll post it tomorrow. It's beyond icky. The dog did it. Accidentally but she did it.

3:03 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

:( Poor wittle pizza swice.

3:21 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

Oh, and I forgot to say, I used to have the BIGGEST crush on Alan Quartermaine, back in the day.

5:38 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Dear god woman, you could hurt youself with a tissue.

5:43 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

I can't believe no one has offered you a band-aid and some neosporin yet!!! ****rummaging around in first-aid kit**** Here ya go. Now, that'll feel better soon.

I listen to the current Top 40 station, and can sing along with all Gwen Stafani, Pussy Cat Dolls, etc. But, it's so that when our daughter asks for that Green Day CD, I can arch an eyebrow and say, imperiously, "Young lady, there are words on that album I believe it would be inappropriate for you to repeat at school or at _________'s house." I believe that an imperiously arched eyebrow is among the most essential parenting skills.

5:55 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Crabcake - I have to say, I like the current Carly a lot. She really does give the impression of a woman who was raised in a trailer park but now has lots and lots of money. And Robert is on right now!
Sorry 'bout your finger...

Mr. B - it was pretty sad. It sat alone in its cardboard box, just gettin' colder and colder. Now I feel bad. I'd better get some new pizza just to make up for it.

Susie - oh, I had it baaaaaad for Alan Quartermaine when I was in high school. He was my favorite hunky type on the show then. Oh, he's still on, but, um...not so hunky.

Jess - you know injuries seek me out, right? It's certainly not that I'm clumsy or anything.
But now I'm afraid of tissues.

Eclectic - you know, the imperiously arched eyebrow doesn't do jack shit to impress a dog. I guess it's best when used with human babies, huh?

7:16 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

Dang it, I've been so busy that I'm way behind. I'm gonna hafta comment without reading all the other comments.

I've gotten back into GH because of you and Mom. You know I love musicals, too. I love pizza and blogging. You can leave out the hip-hop for me, though.

Hope your finger is feeling better. That sucks.

7:40 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

Ahh, Bucky is back and in fine form!

**Virtual smurf bandaide for your finger**

xxx

8:15 PM, January 31, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

Ha, I haven't seen GH in years, really. I guess Alan is a geezer, now, huh? Oh well, maybe I could take him to Kohl's with me on senior discount day :)

9:28 PM, January 31, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home