Shiver me timbers

If you think Chihuahuas weren't bred for the sexual gratification of wealthy women, then you need to pull up a chair and get yourself some learnin', and pronto.

Follow my logic (but, by all means, put on protective gear first):

• Chihuahuas are small, and thus easily portable by women, even women weakened by generations of aristocracy and inbreeding.
• They are already hairless when you get them, which prevents all those embarassing questions like "Why is the hair rubbed off part of your dog?" Lack of hair also makes them infinitely easier to clean, though one should still maintain a cool temperature for hand washing, reshape and lay flat to dry.
• Lemme clue you in to something: it's hot in Mexico. There is no reason, even their relative nudity, that those dogs should shiver. How many rich women have clasped a Chihuahua authoritatively between their ample thighs "just to warm up poor, shivering little Fernando"? Chihuahuas are walking, yapping vibrators.
  
• Finally, I have proof that Chihuahuas are not victims in all this. As a matter of fact, they're kinky little bastards who often carry their own, uh, "accessories":
  
  

Yo quiero discipline


If I've planted this seed correctly, you'll never look at the Taco Bell Chihuahua the same, ever again.

Hey, whaddya want from a Sunday post?