the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Suddenly, I'm not hungry anymore

You know how some dogs will put their assholes against the carpet and then paddle across the floor? And how the reaction from the people in the house is always "NO! BAD DOG! GET YOUR ANUS OFF THE CARPET!"

Normal reaction, right? Yeah, I think so, too.

Well, tonight I saw a commercial for a carpet cleaning company. The commercial featured a big dog, doing the big ass-paddle across a white carpet.

Ummmm...that means that someone taught this dog to rub its ass on the carpet. On command.

Does this disturb anyone besides me? Is there such a demand in show business for this Disgusting Pet Trick that trainers anticipate its use and teach it to the pooches in between "beg" and "roll over"? Upon whose carpet do they practice? And what spoken command, do you suppose, is used to trigger the butt drag?

"Fluffy! Brown streak!"

I'm never letting my pets into show business.

15 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

The one that disturbs me is for the lovely and generous 5/3 Bank. Not exact, but this dude says: "I'm a 42 year old man and I'm delivering the paper. It's my second job. I deliver the paper because my daughter needs braces and her needs come first." Then the announcer cuts in: "At 5/3 Bank, we help you reach your dreams."

What?! You help me reach my dreams?! I'm working a second job, it's 4 am and I'm schlepping paper. THIS is my dream? Gee, um, thanks 5/3 you fucking vampires!

6:45 AM, March 19, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

6:49 AM, March 19, 2008  
Blogger Squirl said...

What's next? Teaching birds to sing the brown note???

8:39 AM, March 19, 2008  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh man... I didn't even THINK of that.

Another good reason not to have pets. Now, if I could just get the kids to stop doing that...

10:28 AM, March 19, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really? I thought he had worms and this was the only job he could get until the meds kicked in.

I'm projecting again, aren't I?
*goes off to rub butt on carpet*

2:10 PM, March 19, 2008  
Blogger eclectic said...

Oh Bucky, don't be so dramatic. You know dogs can't see brown... they're color blind!


8:13 PM, March 19, 2008  
Blogger Charlotte in Pa said...

Next up will be a commercial featuring a dog they taught to eat its own shit on command. I wonder what product THAT would be for. Some sort of doggie mouthwash?

9:45 PM, March 19, 2008  
Blogger Candy said...

You know most dogs, if they do that its because they have worms and their asshole itches.... just saying..

2:16 AM, March 20, 2008  
Blogger Ortizzle said...

Hmmm. The really disgusting thing is how anyone in advertising would think consumers would actually enjoy watching a dog make skid marks across the carpet.

6:42 PM, March 20, 2008  
Blogger Unknown said...

That’s a terrible exploitation of an animal. The poor mutt: they probably stuck pepper up its ass.

6:50 PM, March 20, 2008  
Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

Fiero already knows that trick. Now where are his residuals??

10:19 PM, March 20, 2008  
Blogger eclectic said...

HTGT: I'd look on the carpet if I were you.

12:06 AM, March 22, 2008  
Blogger eclectic said...

Happy Easter, Bucky!!

3:48 PM, March 23, 2008  
Blogger Unknown said...

Easter blessings to you and the kittens, Bucky.

1:33 AM, March 24, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Easter! :)

2:13 AM, March 24, 2008  

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